Adam took several deep breaths, his throat moving rapidly as he swallowed. “It doesn’t matter whether you like it or not. I’ve told you so many times I don’t want anything like that from you or anyone. Maybe you should have noticed something was off. I don’t know,” he said, his voice rising in pitch.
Emil opened his mouth in protest, but then closed it in disbelief. All of a sudden, he wanted a towel too. Once again, he wanted to confront Adam, tell him to stop hiding behind some imagined entity and take some responsibility for his actions, but the sting in his back stopped him, a reminder that nothing was normal about this night. He felt sick at the thought that if Adam was telling the truth, what they’d done had nothing to do with Adam shedding his inhibitions and everything with a dark force that had chosen to fuck with their lives.
“I’m only human,” Emil mumbled, but when Adam stayed silent, he did too.
Despite the tension that felt heavier than a down comforter in the summer, Adam soon returned to his side and tended to the burns with gentle care that amplified the sense of guilt rotting Emil’s insides.
And the worst thing about it all was that no matter what, Emil couldn’t get the sex out of his head. For him, everything they’d said to each other, every touch and kiss, had been honest. When Adam had asked him to be exclusive, Emil only needed a few seconds to agree. No one had ever asked him to be theirs. Not Radek, not any other hook-up, and definitely not Filip ‘I’m-getting-married’ Koterski.
Emil hadn’t given this much thought before, stuck in a town where everyone pretended gay people existed solely in big cities, but when Adam had asked, it hit him just how much he craved someone of his own. To be completely devoted to one person and share his life with them. His love—sex—life had always been about irregular outings to Sanok, where he’d steal moments with men who didn’t care to get to know him, and seducing tourists, who were transient by nature. He would give all that up in a heartbeat if Adam said the word.
But Adam didn’t want him and pulled that rug from under Emil’s feet so fast Emil’s teeth ached from the fall. He was almost glad for the burns, because they provided a distraction from the depth of his disappointment.
Adam suggested they might go to the emergency room, but Emil had seen the red marks in the mirror, and they weren’t as bad as he’d feared. He wouldn’t travel all the way to Sanok so the medical personnel could put some ointment on him and call it a day. In the end, he begrudgingly allowed Adam to dress his back and put on some clothes as soon as he was free to do so.
If Emil’s life was rich in something, it was failure, but this night took the cake.
Adam sat in a chair close by in his damp jean shorts, since he refused to wear any of Emil’s pants, his gaze stuck to the floor, as if he feared spotting whatever was haunting him. If he stayed over any longer, he might go mad with fear.
“Let’s go,” Emil said curtly. “You sure you don’t want a sweater?”
Adam’s hesitation was enough for Emil to head back to his closet, but the thought of the invisible creature watching him from a corner made him pause over the threshold of his bedroom. With unease curling in his stomach, he glanced around, but when the candlelight didn’t reveal anything suspicious, he grabbed his favorite black sweater and returned to Adam.
The priest still bore the marks of their love making in the form of a few scratches, and even a small hickey where Emil had got overindulgent with kisses, but the priest collar would hide that. Adam accepted the sweater with a mumbled “thank you” but wouldn’t step outside without Emil leading the way.
Emil grabbed a large flashlight, and they went out into a silence so hollow it left room for a hundred devils. The moon shone like a lantern in the cloudless sky, so bright they didn’t need any additional illumination after all.
He took a deep breath and glanced at the outline of the tallest plants in the meadow ahead. The darkness offered peace at last, and felt safer than the inside of his own home. “You didn’t summon it in any way?” he asked, still on the fence whether he should believe a word Adam said.
“I prayed, and that voice answered. I removed all three offerings in the parsonage. I don’t know what I did wrong!” Adam said, hiding in the sweater that was oversized on Emil but became a sack on him.
“There should be four. For each cardinal direction. Wait. Why would you remove them in the first place?”
Adam shrugged. “I— didn’t want pagan symbols around me.”
Emil let it go for now. It would have been fastest if they traversed the fields, but after the downpour, the roads would be more favorable, despite all the mud.
Adam took a deep breath and stepped that bit closer, glancing over his shoulder as if he expected something to crawl out of the ditch and follow them with its teeth bared. Even Emil, who was used to the quiet of this remote countryside, felt uneasy once they left the homestead behind. It wasn’t his first time walking so late, but Adam’s behavior sent his senses in fearful overdrive and made him aware of each sound, each animal howl in the distance.
Fog was thick enough to obscure the path under their feet, but it hung low over the ground, as if the spirits of the earth were out enjoying their freedom before sunrise.
“Were you honest when you said you didn’t remember what you said to me during the fortune telling? Or was that a joke?” Adam asked after a long moment of silence.
Emil frowned, fighting the urge to wrap his arm around Adam’s shoulders. He knew Adam needed comfort, and his heart ached to provide it, but his touch was unwanted. “What did I say?”
“Really creepy shit about a goat and a feast,” Adam said, breathing loudly as he sped up, hurrying through the white vapors. “It scared me.”
Emil frowned, his stomach getting colder with each step. “Are you saying I’m also possessed?”
“I don’t know. I don’t even know what to do about this. There’s exorcisms, but—”
Emil shook his head, wishing they were at the church already. No wind moved the wheat field as they passed, as if the storm had been a product of their imagination. “God… he doesn’t play tricks on people, right?”
Adam gave a sharp laugh as they passed through the open gate into the churchyard. “How would I know? He never spoke to me.”
“You’re a priest! You studied the Bible! Does God trick people or not?”
Adam inhaled, leading the way along the side of the church, all the way to the small back door, which hung open. “He tests people’s faith sometimes. Job is the most famous example from the Old Testament. He was a happy, wealthy man who loved the Lord above all, but Satan challenged God, claiming Job was only so godly because he’d been blessed with a good life. God then agreed to a bet of sorts and allowed Satan to torment Job. The man lost his family, his livestock, everything, but he still refused to speak against the Lord. I suppose that had been a test of faith rather than a trick for the sake of it.”
Emil shook his head. “I’ll take your word for it. So you think God might be testing you like this?”
He was wary of entering the place where Adam claimed the demon had attacked him, but he didn’t want to be a coward and walked into the church first. He’d never been at the back of the altar before, but candlelight guided him to the well-lit space at the front. The church looked normal, as if nothing sinister could have possibly happened here. Yet it had.