Adam exhaled. “I always believed the story of Job was just a fable for the ancient Hebrews. A God so selfish and cruel couldn’t be the same entity who offers His own son to save humanity in the New Testament. But maybe I was wrong? Maybe He is spiteful and wants to tell me he doesn’t need someone like me to serve Him,” he said, as he reached the steps that led to the aisle between two rows of benches.
Emil’s face twisted when he noticed a whip with several tails on the floor, and he immediately thought back to the dark bruises and welts covering Adam’s back. He was about to ask about it when Adam froze, and his face fell.
Emil rushed to his side, and when he followed Adam’s gaze to the altar, he stiffened too. The wooden snake from the sculpture of the Tree of Knowledge lay on the floor ripped in half, as if it had been struck by a powerful blow with an axe.
“Fuck.”
Adam wheezed, resting both hands on the altar table, but wouldn’t look away from the broken sculpture. “It’s all real. And it’s all my fault, because I let you get to me.”
Emil faced him with a scowl. He’d meant to leave this issue to rot at the back of his mind, but enough was enough. “Oh, so I caused you to stray from the righteous path? Don’t you see I’ve been violated too? I didn’t agree to—whatever that was. You coerced me into sex after repeatedly rejecting me, and then burned me with your bare hands!”
Adam’s face twisted into a deep scowl that made even his handsome face ugly. “I’ve been struggling with this for so long, but you had to keep on pushing until something sinister used my thoughts against me!”
Emil’s nostrils flared, and he grabbed Adam by the front of the sweater. “How much in denial can you be? You wanted it. You loved every second, and you won’t admit it!”
Adam’s eyes flashed and he slapped Emil so hard even the joint of his jaw hurt. “I did not. I was acting out of character, but you didn’t help me. You just went with it, because you lusted after me from the day we met and didn’t want to consider that something was wrong!”
Emil held his cheek, wanting to scream in frustration, but when something thundered outside, and he screamed in fear. At least Adam cried out too, so it wasn’t that embarrassing.
“Wait here,” he said and darted down the nave, to the main doors.
The lock was easy to open from the inside, and he pushed on one of the heavy wooden wings, peeking outside, only to see a red car in the church yard, right next to a trash can it had knocked over.
The Pastor, who was in the process of leaving the driver’s seat, waved at Emil before stumbling back into the seat.
Emil’s shoulders sagged, and he looked back at Adam. “It’s Father Marek.”
“What?” Adam stormed out of the church and joined him, studying the pastor, who finally managed to leave the vehicle and proceeded to the fallen container, even though he wasn’t stable on his feet.
He was drunk.
“Father?”
“It wasn’t here before,” the older priest said, struggling to pull up the trash can until Adam did it for him.
Emil rolled his eyes. “I’ll help.”
Father Marek waved it off. “No need, I’m fine,” he said and proceeded to zig-zag toward the parsonage.
Adam pulled the keys out of the ignition and locked the car before briefly meeting Emil’s gaze. He was silent for several seconds, standing there as if he considered saying something important, but what eventually came out was a simple, “I’ll take it from here.”
Emil groaned. His cheek still stung from the slap, his body ached from burns, but it was his pride that hurt most.
He turned around and walked toward a home that now felt much less cozy.
Chapter 11 - Adam
The sun outside did nothing to soothe the scars on Adam’s soul. Fresh air entered through the open window, but the scent of grass and wildflowers was like the memory of a normal life, which now seemed like such a distant concept. Curled up in his bed, he watched white clouds pass across the brilliantly blue sky, unable to come to terms with what happened last night.
He wished he could dismiss it all as a bad trip, a case of poisoning from last night’s mushroom soup. Mrs. Luty used mushrooms she collected herself, so it wasn’t impossible that she mistook one type for another, but whenever he tried clinging to that hope, the burning sensation in his anus reminded him that he had lost his virginity last night. That Emil was willing to remain faithful, and that Adam had loved how his weight felt on top, loved the taste of his cock.
He was a sinner, unfit to be a clergyman.
The way Emil had looked at him when they were close would forever be engraved at the back of Adam’s eyelids. In that moment of pleasure and connection, nothing beyond the two of them mattered.
The sentiment was a stupid fancy because Emil had surely just been happy to bed Adam, like he’d wanted since they’d met. It had been impossible to resist him when those forest-green eyes pinned Adam to the bed, when he was so absolutely gorgeous with his hair in disarray and a flush on his smiling face.
It was almost as if Emil had been put in Adam’s path for the sole purpose of testing his faith. And he’d failed.
Had Adam somehow invited the devil into his heart with too many sinful thoughts?
He’d always been a bad seed. Easy to tempt, he’d had issues with his sugar consumption as a kid, compulsively stole from shops as a teen, and got hooked on social media and gossip. But men were his biggest vice. When he was younger and had much less self-control, he’d touch himself more than once daily, thinking of his friends and strangers alike in ways that would have surely made them despise him.
And last night, he’d learned the taste, the feel, and the scent of an aroused man. He’d failed everyone. But most of all, he’d failed himself.
He didn’t even want to get out of bed, too depressed by it all. No matter how brightly the sun shone today, the truth was that the demon might still reside inside him. Last night, it had made him commit despicable acts and revealed them as the fulfillment of Adam’s most secret dreams. What if this happened again? What if the devil made him get on a train to Cracow and whore himself out in the darkroom of a gay club?
Why was he getting aroused by this?
Adam groaned and pressed his face into the pillow. A sharp knocking made him sit up. Mrs. Janina entered in her customary set of headscarf and housedress the moment he invited her in.
“You overslept. Have you been to the same party as the pastor?” She asked, and the frown marring her forehead told Adam Father Marek’s conduct impressed her just as little as Adam’s.
“No. But I think… I have a migraine,” Adam lied before settling his head back on the pillow. Nothing could lure him outside today. He wished he could bury himself deep in the forest, where no one would ever find him alive.
Mrs. Janina frowned. “There is no time for this. The church has been desecrated, it’s a travesty. The door’s been opened, the statue ruined, and the perpetrators have left behind a weapon. What if it’s a threat, Father?”
Adam’s heart thudded against his ribcage. “A weapon?”
The housekeeper crossed her arms and looked around as if she were searching for something to criticize. Fortunately, Adam had always been a tidy man. “Yes. A whip. Pastor Marek told me to call the police.”