“You need to shower.” I put my hand under her chin and lift up her head to face me. Her beautiful blue eyes meet mine and for a moment, I forget it all. I forget she’s a slave. I forget she’s not mine. The world seems to tilt and I lose all sense of reasoning. My thumb gently brushes against her jaw and her eyes close as a small sigh of contentment leaves her plump lips. I feel a pull to draw her into my arms.
And then I snap out of it. My hand falls, and her head drops a bit from the loss of my touch. I pull back and turn around, facing the bathroom door. I don’t know what the fuck that was, but it can’t happen. What kind of sick fuck would that make me? She’s obviously beautiful, but she’s hurting. She’s been used and degraded, and I have no right to let a fantasy like that run through my head.
I walk to the bathroom and listen for her behind me. She’s quick to get up and walks at a steady pace to follow me. I walk straight to the shower and turn it on. I peek out of the corner of my eyes to the mirror. My back is still facing her as I put a hand under the cascade of water, waiting for it to warm for her. She stands facing me with her legs shoulder width apart, and slips one strap off her shoulder and then the other. The scrap of a dress falls to the floor, exposing her skin. Her breasts are firm and plump. Her nipples are small, pale pink buds. They harden as the air touches her tender flesh.
I close my eyes and try to will away my erection. This was not something I planned on when I decided to man the fuck up and take on this role so I didn’t get my ass killed. If I acted on my body’s urges, I’d be taking advantage of her. I won’t fucking do it. I may be a prick, and I may be a criminal. But I would never do that. I don’t give a fuck what Abram expects from me.
I hear her walk closer to me. Her small feet pad softly against the tiled floor. That and the sound of the water cascading into the shower stall are the only sounds. I lick my lips and turn to face her. I’m her keeper and I need to act like it.
I move out of her way and watch as she enters. I could leave her, but that wouldn’t be intelligent. My eyes look back at the mirror. If I was her, I’d shatter it and try to slice my throat with the largest piece I could get my hands on. I’ve seen it before. If you’re lucky, there’s not much glue holding it up, so large chunks will fall. If I was her, I wouldn’t even hesitate. I peek at her from the corner of my eyes as the sound of the water changes. She’s washing herself quickly with a nervous look on her face.
“You can take your time. No need to rush.” I say the words calmly, hoping to ease some of the tension I can see coming off of her. She’s been worried from the second I saw her. I don’t like it. She doesn’t need to worry. So long as she stays in line and obeys me, she’ll be safe.
For as long as she’s mine, anyway. I clench my jaw not liking the thought, and decide to walk over and lean against the edge of the counter.
“Ava?” I ask, to get her attention. My eyes stay on the floor, but I monitor her in my periphery.
“Yes, Kane?” she’s quick to ask, pausing her movements. Her muscles are coiled. She’s waiting for an order.
“I don’t like this, Ava.” I just want to get this shit off my chest. I’ll be honest with her. As much as I can be, anyway. “I don’t know if you can tell,” I begin to say as my eyes find hers, “but this isn’t what I usually do.” I wait to hear her response, but I don’t get one. She’s still waiting. I take a deep breath and grip the counter while looking back down at the floor.
“I’m your keeper for a while, and I know things are going to be different with me than they’ve been with your other...” I trail off and pause. I don’t fucking know what to call them.
“Masters.” She says the word for me. Masters are what they call them. Masters and Slaves.
“I don’t want you to think of me as a master, Ava. That’s not what I am.”
“Are--” she starts to ask a question, but then she seems to jolt and stills in the shower. I look up at her and nod.
“I want you to ask me questions. I want you to listen to me.” I point a finger at her to emphasize what I say next. “But talk to me.” I almost say, it hasn’t been that long, you must remember what it’s like to be normal. But instead I bite my tongue and feel like a fucking asshole. Yeah, it’s only been weeks of torture and countless times being passed around, used and degraded. I’m such a fucking dick. She’s obviously fucked up from all of this. How could she not be? I grip my hair and lean back against the counter with my eyes closed. I have no fucking right to ask her to do a God damn thing.
What the fuck am I even doing? She’s gonna be gone in a week or two. I’ll never see her again, and not treating her like a… like a slave could get her hurt when she goes back to them. “She’s been trained extensively.” Abram’s words echo in my head. I fucking hate him. I hate him for telling me to do this. I hate him even more for hurting her.
“Are you my new keeper?” Ava asks, and it breaks me from my thoughts.
I look back at her, not knowing how to answer. I don’t want any part of this shit. But I don’t have a fucking choice.
I say the only words I know that are true. “You’re mine. I’m going to take care of you.”
Her eyes widen slightly in shock, and her bottom lip trembles. She asks with a shaky breath, “Are you going to save me?”
My heart sinks in my chest. I want to save her. I feel a pull to protect her...and I will, for as long as I can. But I don’t know how long that will be. And I won’t lie to her and give her false hope. I press my lips together and shake my head no.
Her head drops as she noticeably swallows and fights the urge to cry. Her shoulders turn inward as she pulls at her fingers. I feel like absolute shit. I’ve never questioned being a part of the family. Never in my life. It was the way I grew up, and the way we got shit done. Yeah we did some fucked up things, but in the long term, everything made sense.
But this? Fuck this. I don’t want any part of it. There’s not a damn thing okay with this shit.
But I can’t save her. Abram hunted her family down. He did that with all his competitors. They fucking took off and went into hiding, but he found them. If he wants you dead, you’re dead. There’s no other way around it. Right now she’s alive at least. But if we took off? If I decided to be her knight in shining armor? We’d both be dead. It would only be a matter of time. Shit. I might be dead regardless. I’m not looking forward to turning his job offer down. I rub the back of my neck and let out a heavy sigh as she straightens her shoulders and tries to compose herself.
“Finish up. It’s getting late,” I tell her, once she seems to have settled some.
My eyes travel down her body, not at all in a sexual way. She’s beautiful, but she’s not well. She’s thin and the light shines off of several small scars on her body. One is noticeably larger though, and looks like a bite mark on her shoulder. There are more small scratches on her hips and shoulders, and some look like they were left by fingernails--from digging in and piercing her skin while holding her down.
I have to close my eyes and look back to the floor. I can’t imagine everything she’s gone through. I can’t imagine what she expects from me. But I’ll do everything I can to make this easy for her. I want to protect her from that shit and take away the pain she’s in. I don’t know if I can, but I’ll at least try.