There’s no doubt in my mind. If I could save her, I would.
Ava
I look at the cuff on my hand and then back to Kane. He locked one cuff around my wrist, and the other around the bedpost before going into the bathroom to shower. He takes another step into the bedroom, drying off his hair with a towel. Boxers hang low on his hips and my eyes stare at the deep “V” carved from his rock hard abs that taunts me. His muscles are still faintly covered with droplets of water and my fingers itch to feel his body. To run my hands along the smooth lines. If there’s no other truth in this world, Kane is the epitome of man candy. My cheeks flare with a blush and I have to look back down at the bed, then to the cuff.
I’m not sure why I have these feelings toward him. I shouldn’t. I haven’t had them before with the others. But the thought of being his--the idea that he can protect me? It has my body aching for his touch. The need to please him is stronger than I’ve ever felt before.
But he can’t save me.
My eyes close as I hear him walk to the dresser.
No one can save me.
But for now, I’m his. And the thought sends a warmth through my body. First from a sense of security, but then I feel something else entirely deeper in my body. Lower. Heating my core. I feel so ashamed. I must really be broken, to feel this desire for someone I should loathe. I should fear him. I do, in a way. But not like the others.
There were five. First him. And then Felipe finished my training, as they called it. And then there were three more. He gave me to them. He used me as a bargaining chip. I was nothing more than a temporary toy to be used and given back once they were finished.
And now Kane.
But Kane isn’t like them. He’s not like any of them. I believe everything he said earlier. Maybe I shouldn’t. Perhaps it’s all lies. But something inside of me craves him in a way I’ve never felt before. Something is telling me to trust him. A soft voice buried deep in my chest whispers that he will save me. I need only be his.
There’s no doubt in my mind that I’m a fool to believe it. But the very thought that it could be true makes me want to give him all of me.
My eyes widen, and fear quickly drowns out all the other feelings. That’s not what I’m supposed to be thinking. That’s not what my focus should be.
Revenge is my purpose. I can’t forget. I won’t let the past lay in silence. I will make them all pay. And this man, whoever the fuck he is, he’s only a temporary stay. I can’t lose sight of where I’m going.
My eyes snap up at him as he walks closer. He has a stern look on his face that’s been there ever since our conversation ended. I never should have asked questions. He said he wants me to, but I shouldn’t have. It didn’t do me any favors. Instead my focus is distant and my mind is fogged with thoughts I shouldn’t be having.
I asked him if he was going to save me. A shudder runs through my body as I close my eyes and try to keep myself composed. As if this man could be my savior. Shame and disgust run through me.
No one is going to help me. I thought I’d come to terms with that, back when I decided I’d fight to live solely for the chance to kill them. Him first. He needs to die. So long as I watch the life leave him, I’ll die with contentment in my heart.
My body stiffens as Kane walks over to me. I’m clothed at least. I don’t think he’s going to want to fuck me. He doesn’t look at me like the others do. He hasn’t taken from me. But I’m still on high alert. I don’t know if I believe him. I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t trust anyone that works for him.
I hate that I did for a moment. It was a mistake. I won’t do it again.
He stands over me as I sit on my heels on the bed.
He leans over and unlocks the cuff with a tiny key, and then places both of them on the nightstand. It’s so quiet. The only sound is the clinking and loud clunk of the metal handcuffs. I swallow thickly and look up at him. Waiting for his orders. Waiting for him to use me. I have to work hard to keep my eyes open and stay still.
“Don’t make me regret uncuffing you,” he says with a low, threatening tone to his voice.
“I won’t.” I’m quick to respond.
“You’re going to have to lie with me though.” He walks to the other side of the bed and lifts the covers. “I’m a light sleeper. Just know that.” He stares at me as he gets in and lies down. “Lie down, Ava. It’s alright; I’m not going to hurt you.”
I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding. My heart swells and shatters in my chest and tears prick at the back of my eyes. But they don’t surface. They never do. Even though this is the first time in a long time that the tears are from a man’s kindness and not his cruelty.
“Thank you,” I whisper. My body stiffens as I realize I haven’t spoken clearly. I clear my throat and look him in the eyes, as he told me to. “Thank you.” I repeat the words with confidence and slowly slide under the sheets. I lie on my back, staring at the ceiling, although I can feel his eyes on me.
I lie still and close my eyes, focusing on my breathing. It’s coming in ragged breaths as I try to calm myself. How odd that my breath is failing me when I believe I may be safe from harm. At least for the moment. The other times, when they rape me, beat me, humiliate me or leave me to starve or lay in filth--those times my breathing is just fine. It’s as it should be. But right now, I don’t know what to think. I’m frightened of the unknown.
My body jolts as a heavy arm settles across my lower belly. Kane drags my body across the bed and into his arms. I struggle to move, to speak, to breathe. I thought he said he wouldn’t hurt me. My body trembles as he kisses my jaw. I keep my eyes closed, although I shouldn’t.
“Sleep well, Ava. I’m here. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” He speaks quietly into my ear, his lips close enough that they just barely touch my skin. His hot breath sends a warmth through my body. As he settles along my side, my entire body relaxes.
An overwhelming urge to sleep suddenly makes everything heavy. For a long while, I listen to Kane’s breathing. It’s steady. The grip his fingers have on my waist loosens. I think he’s fallen asleep.
My eyes slowly open. I don’t dare turn my head. Instead I look at the ceiling, at every imperfection. Time ticks by. I can’t sleep. The bed is heaven on my sore and aching back; the sheets are warm and welcoming. It’s the first time I’ve been allowed to sleep in relative comfort.
But I can’t.
I’ve been given an opportunity. I could run, although I probably wouldn’t get far. Kane could wake up and come find me. But I could kill him. He’s asleep. I’d do it quick. It’d be relatively painless.
Once that’s over I’d have to cut the tracker out of my arm. I thought about doing it before. But they’d know. They’ll know the instant the temperature changes, and then they’ll come for me. I’d have a little time to get a head start, but that might be all I’d need. I could run and hide. My body lifts slowly off the bed without my consent. Kane’s arm drops onto the bed beside me and my eyes dart to his.
He’s still asleep; his breathing is steady and his eyes are closed.
I scoot slowly to the end of the bed and gently lift my body up. I shouldn’t be doing this. This is bad. It’s wrong. I close my eyes as anxiety and fear weigh down my limbs. But I move against them. I hear my feet pad across the wooden floor.