"I was your girlfriend twenty-four hours ago. You really are a dick."
Damn. When she puts it that way, I really do sound like a dick. But no, no… the shit with us wasn’t real, it was convenient, then after a while it just became a bad habit. "You use that title like it really means something to you. You don't give a fuck about me, only how I make you look."
"That's not true."
"Oh. Really? When's my birthday? Huh?"
She pulls her lips into her mouth and frowns. "Or how about my mother? What was my mother’s name?"
"It was Linda."
"No. Her name was Lisa. You were at the funeral and you sure as fuck didn't miss the photo op they did in the college paper about it. There you were, showing all your support like such a loving girlfriend. I'm done wasting my time. This is over."
“No. We fight all the time, Jordan. What makes this one so different?” Her face is flushed as she paces the floor. “I call you names, you call me annoying, and then we get over it.”
“Don’t you think that's a problem? Couples fight, yeah, but we haven’t been happy together since high school. Why walk into adult life hanging on to something that’s clearly not working?” Her eyes scroll my face. This isn’t what she wants, I know, but she’s not heartbroken either. She’s pissed.
"You aren't doing this to me right before I start my senior year of college." Her widening eyes drift to the floor as she shakes her head in disbelief. "What will everyone think? What about commencement next year? What will my mother say?"
"Your mother?" I turn on my heel, unable to keep my anger in check. "Shit like this is precisely why we never had a chance. I just told you I was done, our relationship is over, and one of the first questions you ask is ‘What will my mother say?’ Really?" I'm the one pacing now. I can't believe how dense she is.
"No, just—” She slaps a hand down on the counter and tears pool in her blue eyes. “My sister got married after college. You and I—"
"No." I speak through gritted teeth as my fists clench at my sides. She blows out a harsh breath, forcing herself to meet my eyes, determined to get her words out.
"You and I have been together forever now. I just thought we'd work through things and—"
"No," I repeat a lot louder this time. "Are you insane? Married? Us? We hate each other, Felicia. If we aren't fucking, we are yelling at each other. You just want to use me in your deluded fairytale so you can prove something to your mother, but this isn't for me. I'm not the guy you want."
"No, it's more like I'm not the girl you want. I’m not Xia." The mere mention of Xia’s name from her lips takes my wind.
"This has nothing to do with her," I say a little quieter than I was moments ago.
"Oh, fuck that, Jordan. It's always been about her. Do you think I'm stupid? She's been this little wedge between us since the beginning. Is Xia upset? Will Xia come to the party? Oh, Xia is sad. Let me run off like fucking Prince Charming for a girl who needs me to be her rescuer.” Her voice rises to more of a whine as she taunts me with her last remark. “She doesn't love you,” she yells. “She isn't loyal to you. She just needs you to do her emotional bidding,"
"Oh, that’s some big thoughts from the most spoiled, self-absorbed creature walking the planet." Who the hell does she think she is? She doesn’t know shit and I hate that’s she trying to get to me through Zee.
"Well at least my eyes are wide open."
"Sure, that's why you thought we'd get married someday." I've never seen so much hate on a person's face before this moment. Felicia walks to me in quick strides with a crazed look in her eyes. I bite down on my teeth involuntarily as I prepare for the sting of her slap, but she stops short as her chest heaves up and down with her heavy breaths. Her glare is hard and I face her, unsure of her next move but prepared for it all the while. Or I thought. Before I can blink again she jumps on me and out of instinct I catch her. Her arms wrap around my neck. Her legs around my hips. Her mouth is warm as she trails wet kisses down my jaw, over my neck, biting my shoulder.
“Felicia, stop.” I peel her legs from my waist as she tightens her grip on my shoulders.
“Come on, baby. Let’s just fuck and forget it.”
“No. I’m serious this time. It really has to end. I don’t want this anymore.” Slowly, she moves away and this time I see actual hurt in her eyes as she adjusts her clothes. But as she looks at me her stony expression returns and she steps forward.
"You know what?" she finally says, her eyes slanted and cold. "You will regret ever crossing me, asshole." She pushes against my shoulders. This, of course, doesn't budge me an inch. I laugh, sinking into her glare.
"Do your worst." I step back and watch as she storms from the house, slamming the door behind her.
I take a second to catch my breath, my thoughts scrambling over Felicia’s words. Is that what this is? Am I just a comforter to Xia? It’s clear after last night she wants nothing but friendship, which… I can’t think about right now. But fuck. I grab a glass of water before making my way back upstairs. Xia is sitting on the bed looking down at her phone.
"Fuck, she drives me crazy." My hand runs down my face and lands on my jaw. "I'm sorry again for all that. This morning has been… I don't know how to describe it," I say, shaking my head.
"Yeah, well… I think I'm going to go too," she says.
"What? No—"
"We're fine, Jordan, really. But after last night, I just need a minute. I'm going to meet Shana for breakfast and I'll come back here a little later. Cool?"
I completely understand her need for space but I can't help feeling we have left something unresolved. "Zee, I think we should talk more. I mean, the shit we did last night…"
"It’s okay, J, seriously. By the time I get back all the weirdness will be gone and we can get back to normal.”
I stare at her, at a loss for words as she speaks.
“Shana will be on the way in about ten minutes, so I’m going to take a quick shower.” She stands, grabbing her duffel from my closet. "Get some studying done. I'll see you tonight," she says before walking into my bathroom and shutting the door.
7
XIA
Well, I lied.
I race down the stairs toward the white Honda sitting in front of Jordan's house, being sure to grab my backpack before I pull the door closed behind me. I ordered an Uber and I pray that Jordan doesn’t notice. That he doesn’t follow me down to say hi to Shana, or something.
I just gotta get out of here. I wasn’t expecting this morning to be this way. God, why didn't I stop it when I could’ve? I knew that we were drunk. I knew that there was a chance that it was the alcohol talking and he might not be one hundred percent genuine in his words, but never did I imagine he’d call it a mistake. Me… me a mistake.
“Hi, I’m Donnie and I’ll be your driver for this trip. Before we start, do you need to make any additional stops?” the driver asks once I hop into the car.