“To make sure you were okay.”
“Well, I’m not. I haven’t been okay since your father died, and I’ll never be okay again. He was the heart of this family . . . he was my heart. Now that’s gone.”
I sat in the grass beside her and rubbed her back. “It’s not gone. He’s part of all of us. You know I didn’t want to believe in Nancy’s hooey, but I can admit when I’m wrong. Dad is with us, even if we can’t see him. He’s here, Mom, and if we lean on each other, he’ll always be with us and we’ll be fine. Even if you don’t believe that yet, you have to try. Willa will be here soon, and we have to give her everything Dad would’ve wanted for her, right?”
My mother glanced at his grave, nodding.
“I know you feel lost without him, but of all the women he could’ve picked, he picked you because he knew you were strong and principled and the exact right person to help him build a family. Don’t give up on yourself or the rest of us now.”
Her mouth twitched. “I don’t know if I can get used to this wiser version of you.”
I smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ve got plenty of crazy ideas floating around my head that’ll keep you on your toes for years to come.”
My mother elbowed my side, chuckling. “Your dad loved you best.”
“He didn’t love me best. He showered me with affection because I fit in the least and he wanted me to feel okay about that.”
She squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t do that for you.”
My throat tightened. I half expected a flock of doves or a double rainbow to accompany that unexpected apology. What a day!
“It’s okay. We still have time.” For once, hugging my mother felt authentic.
I still missed my dad something fierce, but peace finally came from knowing that, like that tree, our family would continue to grow strong in our love and commitment, thanks to him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
AMANDA
Six weeks later
The old sycamore provided much-needed shade today. The “Over the Hill” and silver “30”-shaped mylar balloons Mom and Aunt Dodo had tied all around the deck for Erin’s birthday stood erect and unmoving in the humid, stagnant summer air.
I took a seat between my mom and Lyle’s father, Richard, jostling Willa, who fussed in my arms after waking from her nap.
“I’m so glad she’s thriving,” Richard said, gathering her little fingers around his index finger. “I was worried when you called to tell me she came early.”
Three weeks early, but my little Muffin’s lungs were formed, and she’d shown no signs of trouble so far. “She’s a perfect little pip-squeak, isn’t she?”
I smiled, as I’d been doing since her birth. My heart could scarcely contain all the love and happiness that seemed to grow exponentially with each new day.
Eli picked up his guitar again and played a soft melody. Willa’s eyes widened, and unblinking, she stopped fussing.
“You’re a baby whisperer,” I said. “Can I record you now to play whenever she gets fussy?”
Eli shot me a gentle smile while Erin gazed at him with such open warmth it brought on another wave of joy. She’d been spending more nights at his house lately—possibly to avoid being awakened by late-night feedings. Even so, she still visited most afternoons at Mom’s.
After a day of purging and reorganizing, Kevin’s old room turned office now did double duty as a nursery. I hoped to get a full-time teaching job by Christmas, but in the meantime planned to sub when I could and continue at the nursery school a few days per week this fall. Mom had agreed to sit with Willa during those hours. It wasn’t the perfect plan I’d once needed, but it was doable.
Little Billy lay passed out on Kevin’s shoulder after the comedown from his sugar rush. “We’ve got to get going so we can drop Richard at the airport on our way home.”
“Happy birthday, Erin.” Marcy gave her a little hug from behind.
Erin patted her hands. “Thanks for coming.”
“Good to see you, honey.” Mom stood to give Billy a peck on the cheek and say goodbye to Kevin and Marcy. “And don’t forget, honey: I can come up and watch him next week if Marcy wants to go with you to that conference in New York.”
“I’ll help,” Dodo added.
My mother smiled at her sister, but I suspected she’d rather not have Dodo micromanaging her time with her grandson the way she’d micromanaged this little picnic. Their relationship made me smile, though, because like with so many sisters, despite the friction, they had each other’s backs.
“Thanks. We’ll let you know.” Kevin nodded at Richard. “You ready?”
Richard sighed. “I hate to go, but yes. I left my bag by the front door, so I’ll meet you by the car.”
Kevin and his family disappeared into the kitchen as Richard turned to my mother. “Thank you for welcoming me to visit Willa during Erin’s birthday weekend. It’s been a real pleasure to meet you all, especially my beautiful little granddaughter.”
Mom self-consciously toyed with her hair, not quite meeting Richard’s intense gaze. “Certainly. You’re part of the family now.”
Aunt Dodo’s brows rose high on her large forehead as she stared into her cup of coffee.
Richard smiled, while Erin shot me “a look” that wasn’t all that different from Dodo’s. But Richard Foster had been unobtrusive and kind, affirming my decision to include him in Willa’s life, so I was grateful that Mom hadn’t made him feel unwelcome.
He turned to Erin. “Happy birthday, young lady. I’ll see you all again in the fall.”
I thought to invite him to Thanksgiving but would wait to see how things played out in the coming weeks. One could push Madeline Turner only so far so fast, and I didn’t want to give Aunt Dodo a heart attack in this heat.
Richard squeezed my shoulder. “Thanks for my little soap package. Good luck to you girls with your men’s line.”
“You’re welcome!” Erin said, rubbing her hands together victoriously.
In the past weeks she’d developed a line of men’s products, and I’d worked to build a customer database and regular newsletter, and set up a reward program for repeat customers. But more important than the ultimate financial success of the venture was its meaning for my relationship with my sister.
After Richard left, Erin asked, “Did anyone talk to Kevin about the boat?”
Mom cleared her throat. “He thinks I should involve a boat broker. It’ll cost me something in commission, but the boat will probably sell faster.”
The Office currently called a slip in the bay home, but I’d never set foot on it. Erin had taken pictures, but seeing them made the images of Lyle and Ebba’s love cruise too pointed, killing my interest in a private tour.
“Listen to Kevin,” Aunt Dodo instructed.
My mother started to clear the table without answering. Their relationship reminded me of what Erin and I used to be, and made me grateful for the change. When she went inside, Dodo turned to me. “So custody is secured? And your house is already under contract?”
“Yes, Aunt Dodo. My neighbor’s good friend wanted my house, so I sold it without a broker, which offset the late fees I owed.”