“There you are,” he says. “I was worried you might have taken off.”
“Just getting warmed up.”
“All right, well, don’t worry about the ride. I can make it home if you get a better offer.”
He shoots a quick look to where Delia is standing with a few other girls, including Candice.
“Or you get one?”
“If I’m lucky.” He tosses nuts in his mouth. “You seem more yourself, finally. You’ve been on another planet since graduation.”
I think about telling him the girl was Mai. It might be good—hear him say, What the hell were you thinking? But she’s in my head and in every tense muscle and in the twist of my gut. I don’t want her name in my mouth, the taste of her on my tongue.
“Yo!” Tucker appears and throws an arm over our shoulders. “With the eye candy we have here tonight, I’m feeling up for a game of pool chicken. What do you think?”
Coop gestures with his chin hair. “I think that is inspired, my friend.”
The doorbell rings, and the three of us look up. It’s the first time it’s gone off all night. People just walk in. No one rings the bell.
Except.
Tucker’s grin confirms my thought. “Well, look who’s here.”
Josie walks in, and beside her is Mai.
Wearing red lipstick.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Mai
I’m barely in the door and my eyes have already shot right to him like I’m an Anthony-heat-seeking missile. He looks ridiculously good. Sleeveless black tee. Blue board shorts. Hair curving forward over sharp cheekbones and those lips I love. I also don’t miss the way his jaw clenches when he sees me. I’m fairly certain eyes can’t boil, but his are doing a very good impression.
I’m boiling, too—a mix of all the emotions I’ve kept bottled up. I wasn’t sure he’d be here. Told myself I hoped he wasn’t.
Such a lie.
I told myself I could see him and not care.
Bigger lie.
I rub my Brilliant Red lips together and desperately search for the emotions I want to feel. Relieved. Calm. Disinterested. All day I’ve been swamped by the things I don’t want to feel. Disappointed. Sad. Lost.
Lost?
We’ve been flinging for less than a week.
I know what it means to be lost. There is nothing to feel lost about.
I’m so frustrated, I could scream. This was my whole day—emotions ping-ponging back and forth and none of them making any sense.
I fumed as I showered, shaved every inch of my legs, and slathered myself with lotion. I’m not supposed to invite Grant to the dinner, but Anthony doesn’t really want to go—not enough to make a few concessions. He acted like I was cheating on him when we both agreed to a fling with no strings. If he wants to end things now, then fine.
His loss.
There was more fuming while I hunted for my favorite one-piece—in red—with a low-cut bodice and a tiny bow in the center. My A cups might be small, but they are mighty fine.
His huge loss.
As I slipped on flip-flops, I decided that this was for the best. Perfect, in fact. We were over without any sad good-byes to suffer through. I couldn’t have planned it any better.
And then the lipstick was in my hand, and in the mirror was a girl with red lips and hopeful eyes I didn’t recognize. A girl with thoughts I didn’t want. A speeding pulse I couldn’t calm.
By the time Josie texted that she was out front, the fuming had turned into, well, something else. I could be more understanding. The thing with Grant was awkward, but if he’d seen how my parents forced me to invite him, he’d understand it isn’t want I want. Who I want.
“Mai?”
I blink and turn to Josie, who is staring at me in a way that means she said something I missed.
“Sorry.”
“Are you okay?”
“Just thinking.” We’re still standing in Jason’s entryway. I’ve been so focused on Anthony, I’ve hardly noticed anyone or anything else. I spare a glance around. Girls I don’t know. Jason pouring from a blender. Three guys dancing on the couch. I honestly don’t care. My gaze flits back to Anthony. If there’s regret, he’s hiding it well. All I see are the questions in his eyes.
What are you doing here? What do you want?
I want to lie, but my eyes are already answering back. You. My eyes are terrible liars.
Abruptly, he turns around and heads toward the back door. I feel like I’ve been kicked in the shins. By a horse.
“Mai?” Josie again, her voice lower.
He’s walking away? Did he see my lipstick?
“Is something going on with Anthony?” she asks. “I thought that was over a long time ago.”
“It is. It was.” He stops to talk with the girls I don’t recognize. There’s one with auburn hair who is dangerously close to crossing into his personal space. Anthony sips from his cup, smiling.
Is that a drink-drink?
Is that a smile-smile?
I draw in a hot breath. “It is so far in the past, it’s like eons ago. Like the Hadean period.”
Josie rolls her eyes. “I don’t know what that is.”
“Before there were fossil records of life on Earth.” He’s moving past them now, heading out the back door.
“Have you been getting too much sun?”
I nod. “Yes, sun sounds good. We should get some sun.”
Josie gives me a hard stare. I flush. She knows something is going on. But like a good friend, she bites her tongue. “Drink first, then sun.”
It turns out Jason’s making sugar ice, which he’s calling frozen grapefruit. The cold sliding down my throat feels good. Calming. I would like to pull my bathing suit away from my skin and pour the ice down my front, I’m so hot. But that would spoil the cool and unconcerned Mai that I am now pretending to be.
Josie points out two lounge chairs on the deck. Already the pool is full, and there are noodle wars going on and a very wet game of basketball at the far end between Tucker, Cooper, and two guys I don’t recognize. “Where did all these people come from?” I ask.
“Jason’s working at a waterpark this summer.”
We settle on the chairs. “When is Garrett going to be here?”
She pulls her phone from her back pocket and checks. “Hopefully in an hour. He’s driving back now.”