Futile attempts were made to swipe at the tears falling down my cheeks. They were coming so fast, I couldn’t keep up.
“I lost you, and I lost him,” I sobbed. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with all the hurt I feel when the two people who were always there to help me through my pain are gone. I made a new friend in Sedona, but she’s not you. She’s not Zev. I need your help, Liam. Tell me how I’m supposed to get through this.”
Liam didn’t respond.
I lowered my body to the ground and cried for a long time by my friend’s headstone. More than an hour had passed before I’d gotten out all my tears. That’s when I sat up, smiled at his name, and promised, “I’ll be back to visit you soon, Liam. Thank you for listening to me.”
With that, I stood and walked back to my car.
I ran into a bit of Monday traffic on the way back to Sedona, so it took me close to three and a half hours to get to the store. I walked in when there was just an hour and a half left before closing.
When I stepped inside, I immediately felt bad because the store was packed, which was unusual for a Monday. I gave Meli a look of apology and got to work helping customers. Time flew by, and before I knew it, the last customer had walked out the door five minutes after closing time.
Before she could even say anything to me, I apologized, “I’m so sorry, Meli. It took me longer than I thought it would today. To top it off, I got stuck in traffic. I’ll understand if, after the day you had today, you’ve decided you want to quit.”
“Are you kidding me?” she practically shrieked. “It was so much fun today. I like when it’s busy here. And I’m used to a little chaos.”
I laughed and asked, “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. Besides, I don’t know what you did today, but I can tell you’re doing a little better.”
Nodding, I confirmed, “I am. I can’t promise I won’t have more days like I did yesterday, but today was… therapeutic for me.”
Meli smiled at me. “I’m happy to hear that.”
“Alright. Get your butt out of here and go home to your family. I’ll take care of getting everything shut down for the night here,” I ordered.
“I can stay,” she assured me. “It’s really no problem.”
I gave her a warning look and said, “Thank you for stepping up for me today, but I insist you go home now.”
She rolled her eyes and heaved out a sigh. “Fine. I’ll see you later this week.”
“Have a good night, Mel.”
“You too, Tillie.”
After she left, I got to work on my closing time duties. I closed out the register and gathered up the sales receipts. Then, I printed off the online orders that came in throughout the day. Finally, I printed off my inventory report. When I got home, I was going to go through the online orders just to make sure that I didn’t need to make any new pieces to fulfill the orders that came in.
I was so caught up in what I was doing, though, that I realized too late that I never locked the door behind Meli. My back was to the door since I was standing at the printer waiting for the final reports to print when I heard the chime indicating someone had walked in.
I turned around, prepared to tell the client I was closed for the night, when I froze.
Because right there in front of me was something I’d wished for, for weeks.
It was Zev.
And he looked like he hadn’t slept in months.
Tillie
He was here.
I couldn’t believe he was standing here in my shop.
Part of me wanted to run over and jump into his arms, but the other part of me remembered how he treated me the last two times I saw him.
I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat but failed.
That’s when he whispered, “Tillie.”
I reached out and grasped the countertop to stop myself from falling as I immediately broke down crying. The next thing I knew, Zev’s arms came around me, and he held me tight. I was so distraught, seeing him for the first time in months, that I couldn’t do anything but allow him to comfort me.
I hadn’t had the comfort of a hug like this since the night of Liam’s funeral. The only thing I could bring myself to do was hold on to him and let the tears flow.
That’s precisely what they did, too. In between my sobbing and trying to breathe, I noticed Zev’s hand moving up and down my back. I heard the pained rasps of his voice as he tried to soothe me.
“Shhh… it’s okay. I’m here. I’m so sorry, Tillie.”
It took me a really long time to pull myself together. When I did, I came to my senses. I stepped back out of Zev’s hold, yanking my arms out of his grasp.
“Wait,” I warned as he reached out for me. “What are you doing here? How did you know I was here?”
Disappointment flickered in his face at my refusal to let him continue to touch me.
“I’m here because I realized how big of a mistake I made, and I wanted to apologize,” he started. “When I got to your house and you didn’t answer, I went inside. Nearly everything was gone. I needed to find you. It took me some time, but I eventually went to your website and saw you had moved here.”
He paused a moment and looked around the store. When his eyes came to mine again, he praised, “This place is incredible, Tillie.”
“Apologize for what?” I barked, trying to ignore his kind words. I didn’t know why I was doing that because it wasn’t who I was. All I could come up with was that it had to be a means of self-preservation.
Zev shook his head and answered, “For pushing you away the way that I did. I’m sorry, Tillie. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness after treating you that way, but I’m going to ask you for it anyway.”
“Why?” I questioned him, my voice getting louder by the second. “Why did you do that to me? To us?”
“Tillie, babe, I know I—” he got out before I cut him off.
Holding my hand up between us, I declared, “No! Do you know what I’ve been through? You look around this store and think I’m doing great because business is good… you have no idea what I’ve been through these last few months. And you want to know why that is? Because you shut me out, Zev. After all these years, after everything we’ve been through, you threw me out like I was garbage. And the worst part about all of it is that you did that to me after the best night of my life.”
Shock and horror were evident in his face. I didn’t know if it was the words I was saying or if it was the fact that he hadn’t ever seen me like this. At that moment, it didn’t matter. I just needed to get it out.
“I gave you everything I had to give all because I wanted to take away your pain,” I started again. “I know you don’t remember what happened between us that night, Zev, but it was beautiful. Until I woke up the next morning and you made it ugly.”
I watched as he winced.
Seeing the pain in his face didn’t stop me. I continued, “Even if you wanted nothing with me beyond our friendship, I would have understood that. I didn’t need to have the intimate relationship with you Zev. I loved you, yeah. But I never would have done what I did had I known I’d lose you as my friend. I would have gone on and cherished what we had with each other that night for the rest of my life while still having you in my life… any way that I could.”