I loved that he knew I was sitting on the couch with a glass of wine. That’s what I wanted. Someone who knew me just as well as, if not better than, I knew myself.
“Alright,” I agreed. “But if I don’t get this whole thing figured out in the next few months, I’m giving up completely.”
“It won’t come to that,” he assured me.
I hoped it wouldn’t. I’d been on this Earth for twenty-eight years and still had a lot of life left. I hated to think there were things I wouldn’t ever get to experience.
Like love.
Being in love and making love.
A shiver ran through my body at the thought.
“Okay, Zev. I’m counting on you,” I warned.
“When have I ever let you down?”
I didn’t respond because it was a question that needed no answer. Zev had never let me down. Not once. Not ever.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I remarked.
“‘Night, babe.”
“Goodnight.”
I disconnected the call and sat there letting the good feeling of hearing his voice and knowing I’d see him in a few hours settle over me. I only gave myself a couple minutes to do it, but I never regretted giving myself that time.
When I finished, I peeled my body off the couch and went to bed.
“Alright, here it is,” Zev declared as he placed a brown paper bag down on the table between us.
We’d arrived at the restaurant we were having lunch at and had just finished our meals. The moment the waiter took our plates away and brought the bill back, I was confronted with the bag.
I looked at the bag, studied it, and shifted my attention to my best friend. “What is it?” I asked.
Zev grinned. “It’s the solution to all of your dating problems. Just like I promised.”
I narrowed my eyes trying to figure out what he could have possibly put in the bag that would fix my problem. The truth was, I already knew why it wasn’t working out with anyone else. I was in love with my best friend. I had been for a long time. Nobody else would ever come close to that.
I curled my fingers around the side of the bag and lifted it. It didn’t weigh much. After pulling it toward my chest, I unrolled the top of it and peeked inside. The minute I saw what was inside, I lifted my head and gave Zev a questioning look.
“How is this going to help me?” I questioned him.
“You said that a second date is a problem because the men will have expectations,” he started. “This is your insurance. Now, you can have that second date, and if anyone expects more than you want to give, you’ve got back up.”
“I can’t blast a guy in the face with pepper spray,” I argued.
“If he’s not taking no for an answer, you absolutely can.”
I cocked an eyebrow and pointed out, “Or I could just not lead him on by even going out on a second date to begin with.”
Zev shrugged. “You could. But then you’ll never know if you’re missing out on something or someone good. Maybe you aren’t feeling a connection because the guys you’ve been going out with are feeling nervous. Perhaps if they had the chance to get to know you better, they’ll feel more comfortable on the second date.”
“So you think that the men I’m going on a first date with aren’t showing me who they really are?” I asked.
“Maybe not all of them. But perhaps some of them are feeling nervous,” he suggested.
I had to admit he made a valid argument. It was entirely possible that some of the guys I’d been dating were nervous. The only problem I saw with Zev’s line of thinking was that if I gave them a second date, I found it very unlikely that any of them would turn out to be him.
Shaking my head, I stated, “You don’t even want to know what I thought was in this bag.”
“Yes, I do,” he insisted as he lifted his drink in his hand. I watched as his lips closed around the straw. The man was utterly divine, and I wanted nothing more than to have his lips on me.
“Well, I just thought with the discreet bag and all that you had found a way to give me something that would act as a boyfriend without the hassle of all the dating problems.”
Zev’s brows shot up. He took another sip of his drink.
Thinking he was confused by what I’d said, I spelled it out for him. I lowered my voice and leaned toward him. “I thought this was a vibrator.”
Zev choked. I shot back in my seat as I watched him drop the cup to the table and cough repeatedly. He pounded the side of his fist against his chest several times before the coughing subsided.
When he brought his eyes to mine, he hissed, “Jesus Christ, Tillie. What are you trying to do to me?”
My eyes widened. “What? That was a valid assumption,” I defended myself.
Zev’s face changed, directing a look at me that indicated he thought I was crazy.
Feeling sheepish, I looked away and murmured, “It would have solved all of my dating problems.”
I barely got the words out before I felt Zev’s hand curl around mine and squeeze.
“Tillie…” He trailed off.
I brought my eyes to his.
“You’re going to find someone to make you happy,” he declared.
“Maybe I’ll get a cat,” I blurted because I couldn’t handle the sweetness he was handing me as his fingers touched my skin.
Zev pulled his hand away from mine. I felt the loss and hated it. “A cat?” he questioned me.
Nodding, I explained, “Yeah. You know, I’ll start with one and suddenly I’ll see strays everywhere and start rescuing them. Before you know it, I’ll be so busy with all my ceramics and cats that I won’t have time to think about the fact that I’m alone.”
“Babe?” Zev called.
“Yeah?”
“You’ll never be alone.”
His voice was sweet, and I knew he meant to indicate that I’d always have him. As much as I loved knowing that, I still wanted more.
And I wanted it with him.
Unfortunately, Zev never made any moves to indicate that he was interested in anything beyond friendship with me. I tried to put myself out there. I tried to make it obvious how much I wanted him; however, there was no way I’d ever cross that line unless he made the first move. Maybe that was foolish. Maybe I was punishing myself unnecessarily. But I didn’t think I had it in me to take that risk and possibly lose my friendship with him forever.
Before I had the chance to respond to Zev, his phone rang. He looked at the display, and I watched his face grow confused before he said, “I don’t know who this is.”
“Answer it,” I urged. “It’s fine.”
He swiped his finger across the screen and held the phone to his ear. “Hello?”
There was a pause before he said, “This is Zev Petersen. Who’s calling?”
In the next instant, I watched as my best friend’s entire state of being changed. His whole body went rigid and his knuckles on the hand that were holding the phone had turned white.
Something was wrong.
Something was very, very wrong.
“I’m on my way now,” he said as he stood and disconnected.
Zev didn’t explain anything to me. He pulled his wallet out of his jeans, threw more money than was necessary to cover the bill down on the table, and grabbed my hand.