“What is it? Is Maddie okay?” My pulse quickened at the thought there could be something wrong with her.
“She has a bladder infection, which is what I thought. I have some antibiotics for her, so she should start to feel better soon.”
“Is there anything else?”
The way she looked at me made me nervous, but when she responded, “No,” I released some of the tension I’d been holding onto. The possibility Maddie could’ve potentially been dealt more of a raw deal had weighed on me more than I thought possible, and even though I had no idea what those options could’ve been, my mom’s words erased the worry.
Now I could focus on helping her heal emotionally from the trauma she’d suffered.
25
I heard voices next to the bed, and it took me a moment to realize I wasn’t dreaming but instead had company. Prying my eyes open, a more difficult feat than I thought considering I’d only been resting for close to an hour, I saw Lincoln and his mom. They’d been talking low, but when they realized I was awake, they both stepped toward the bed.
Sitting up, I leaned against the wall behind me because there was no headboard.
“Hi, honey.” Addy sat on the edge of the bed and patted my hand. She looked up at Lincoln before returning her focus onto me. “So, it was as I thought. You have a bladder infection, but that’s easily taken care of.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a pill bottle. “These are antibiotics.” She handed them to me. “You’ll start to feel better within a day or two.”
Clutching the bottle in my hand, I said, “Thank you for helping me.”
“Of course.”
“And, now I have to use the bathroom.” Addy stood, allowing me room to get up. “I’ll be right back.” I caught Lincoln staring at me as I walked away. I really hoped he didn’t hold my earlier boldness against me. I didn’t know what I’d do if he started to ignore me, or worse, view me as a problem.
After I reemerged, I noticed the two of them huddled close and whispering, Lincoln’s voice stern when he responded to whatever his mom said. I cleared my throat when they continued talking, not wanting to eavesdrop on their conversation but wanting to thank her again for tending to me so quickly.
Addy wandered a few steps closer, resting her hand on my shoulder.
“Is something else wrong?” I asked.
“No. I wanted to tell you that since your periods aren’t regular, you can start taking the pill to fix that issue. You can be put on a low-dose estrogen, and if you have any issues, we can always switch you. If this is something you’re interested in, you’d have to have an exam first. Have you ever had one before?
While I was naïve in many factors of life, I realized the exam she referred to was a gynecological one. “No, I haven’t.”
“Well, let me know if you want to go this route and I can set everything up for you.”
I nodded before glancing at Lincoln, thinking that the moment our eyes met, I’d feel some sense of embarrassment because of the intimate topic, but I didn’t. There was something about him that put me at ease, even while talking about womanly things.
“After everything you’ve been through, I’m happy you didn’t end up pregnant on top of everything else. And you have a clean bill of health. Take the antibiotics and you’ll be as good as new in no time.”
“Thanks again,” I said. My gratitude didn’t seem enough for everything she’d done for me, but it was all I had.
“Of course, sweetheart.” She turned to face her son. “Walk me out.”
They both disappeared, closing the door behind them. Whatever she wanted to talk to him about was to be kept private; otherwise, she would’ve told him in front of me. But I couldn’t wonder about what they were discussing. I wanted to focus only on the good news she’d given me, not that having a bladder infection was positive, but the fact I wasn’t pregnant and hadn’t contracted any diseases from those animals helped to erase some of the anxiety from simply contemplating the likelihoods.
A few minutes after they left, I heard Lincoln shout, “Mom! I know.” They weren’t far down the hallway. “Why does everyone think so badly of me?” He lowered his voice toward the end of his question, but his anger was apparent. I moved across the room, curious as to what was going on out there, but the door swung open before I could put my ear against it. And good thing too because he probably would’ve knocked me over.
Lincoln stood before me, his expression matching the tone I’d heard.
“Unbelievable,” he muttered, entering the room before slamming the door. When he saw he’d startled me, he apologized. “I don’t know why everyone thinks I’m gonna take advantage of you.” He paced, his hand running over the top of his hair before dropping to his side. “I’m not an asshole.” I retook my seat on the edge of the bed, watching him as he moved back and forth. His next words were jumbled together, not making a lick of sense to me, but I didn’t think they were supposed to.
I didn’t interrupt him, but after some time with still no words exchanged between us, my curiosity finally won out.
“What did your mom say that made you so upset?”
At first, he frowned, clearly contemplating on whether to answer my question. Then when his expression relaxed, followed by his posture, he leaned against the dresser and shoved his hands in his pockets.
“She told me that if we do anything, I should cover up.”
Tilting my head slightly to the side, I asked, “What does that mean?”
He licked his lips, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly when he caught me staring. “It means that if we have sex, she wants me to wear a condom, which I would do regardless… if ever that happened… if you wanted to.”
“Um… I… uh… I’m not sure—”
Lincoln was next to me before my brain could finish stringing my words together to form any sort of coherent sentence. “Maddie, I’m not saying we’re gonna have sex.”
“Oh. You don’t want to do that with me?” I couldn’t believe I was disappointed. I shouldn’t ever want to think about having sex with anyone ever again. Not that what had happened between me and those bastards was sex, because it wasn’t. But still, the intimate act, the vulnerability, the opening of myself to another, both physically and emotionally… it should be the farthest from my mind.
But Lincoln wasn’t just anyone.
My heart told me he was someone special.
Maybe even the one.
Oh, who was I kidding? I couldn’t trust myself to think or feel anything right now, even as my brain and heart battled. And at this point, I wasn’t sure which one would come out on top.
“No. I mean, that’s not what I’m saying.” His chest expanded, the fabric of his shirt stretching over his defined muscles. “Of course, I want to. But after what you’ve been through, I would never expect you to want to be with me… in that way.” Although the topic was touchy, I appreciated that he at least sounded nervous discussing it. I found it endearing. He cared about me, about how I felt, which only made me want to be that much closer to him in any way possible.