Damn conflicting emotions.
Thinking it would be safer to change the subject, I lost myself in the way he looked at me for a moment. The rich coloring of his irises drew me in so deeply I didn’t want to look anywhere else. An emotion glimmered behind his entrancing gaze, but I couldn’t readily decipher what it was. Adoration? Lust? Pity?
“Am I gonna have to leave soon?”
“Leave where? Here?” Before he allowed me to respond, he asked another question. “Do you want to leave?” The bed dipped when he sat next to me, allowing me to stop straining the muscles in my neck from having to look up at him.
“No.” When he placed his hand on top of mine, I stiffened. “Sorry,” I whispered, having no idea why I reacted like that. He moved to pull his hand away, but I caught his fingers with mine and entwined them. “I don’t want to go anywhere.” A ghost of a smile pulled at the edges of his mouth before quickly falling when I added, “I’m scared.”
He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into him, his scent calming my erupting nerves. “Don’t be scared. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Part of me was desperate to believe him, but I’d witnessed firsthand how evil the Reapers were, and I would continue to fear them coming after me, even though I had a feeling Lincoln and his friends would do all they could to keep me safe. But in the end, only fate would know the outcome of my future, or lack thereof. “I got you,” he continued to say, kissing the top of my head and holding me close. Wishing to escape the depths of my wayward thoughts, I wanted to sink into him, to disappear inside him so I would be safe from the world. Safe from my own mind, but the only thing I could do was to allow him to comfort me.
After several minutes, I pulled back, smiling at him to let him know I was okay. “It’s been a day,” I half laughed. There wasn’t anything amusing about my situation, but I was grateful I hadn’t received devastating news. “I think I’d like to lie back down if that’s okay.”
“Of course.” Lincoln kissed my temple, his lips lingering a few seconds longer than necessary, but I wasn’t complaining. When he did finally pull away, he asked, “Can I get you anything? Are you hungry?”
“No. I had some pizza before.”
“At least they had the sense to get something in your stomach, other than those drinks.” His voice wasn’t tense, but I saw the quick tic of his jaw.
“They were all nice to me. I wasn’t afraid.”
“That’s good.” He stared at me for a couple more seconds before standing.
“I’ll be around if you need me.”
“Thank you.”
I crawled under the blankets after he left, and as my eyes drifted closed, the oddest question barreled through my brain. If I had the opportunity to go back in time, would I have still accepted the ride from Pike? Would I have subjected myself to the abuse of those men simply for the opportunity to meet Lincoln? A rational person would scream no, but something deep in my soul made me teeter between safety and… hell, I didn’t know what the other feeling was. All I knew was that every time I set eyes on him, heard his voice, or felt his touch, my heart ached, and my instincts told me I belonged to him.
26
A week had passed and still the Reapers hadn’t made a move. Not knowing where or how they were gonna strike only made everyone more on edge than they already were.
On top of everything else, Maddie seemed to be in a funk, not that I could blame her. She was dealin’ with a lot, but at least she wasn’t pregnant. I couldn’t even imagine how devastating that would be for her if the test results had come back positive.
I checked on her often, even bringing her a television so she could stare at something other than the four walls shielding her from the rest of the world. Her appetite picked up, which I was happy about, but just when I thought we were making headway, she shut back down, uttering one-word answers every now and then. No two hours were the same. Sometimes she was sullen, and sometimes she acted like she didn’t want me to leave her side. In the end, I took my cues from her moods, reacting accordingly and never pushing her to do or say anything I believed she wasn’t comfortable with.
There were many times I thought about that kiss, although I didn’t dare mention it for fear she’d tell me she regretted it.
“If you don’t sit down soon, I’m gonna tackle your ass,” Hawke grumbled, sitting on the sofa with a beer in hand. He looked a bit worse for wear, his hair messed, and his clothes wrinkled, looking like he’d been through the wringer.
The jury was still out on what I thought of him, but I had no energy to give to that right now. I needed to think of something to do for Maddie to cheer her up.
Simple ideas came to mind, from watching a movie with her to making her favorite food, whatever that might be. And by making her food, of course I meant ordering the dish from a local restaurant. I didn’t want to give her food poisoning. Before I could decide on what would do the trick, my sister’s name popped up on my phone… then an idea hit me full force, making me smile.
“Hello.”
“Hey, is Dad still there?” she asked. I heard people talking in the background and assumed she was at work.
“I think he left about an hour ago. Why?”
“Can you check?”
Walking through the clubhouse, I checked all the bedrooms, minus the one Maddie was in, the kitchen, Chambers, and the two other rooms that were hardly ever used.
Making my way outside, I checked the garage, then looked around the wide-open space and still didn’t see the man. “Nope, doesn’t look like he’s here. Why?”
No response to me, but I heard her talking to someone else. I waited impatiently while she finished her short conversation, but still, she didn’t answer me.
“Riley!”
“Oh, sorry. Is he gone?”
“I told you yes. Why do you wanna know?”
She huffed, and I was two seconds away from hangin’ up on her but didn’t. “I wanted to stop by and check on Maddie. See how’s she doin’. Poor girl is surrounded by male energy. I feel bad for her.”
“Me too.”
“I think you might feel somethin’ else for her.” The teasing in her voice irritated me, mainly because I wasn’t completely sure of my feelings toward Maddie.
I thought she was beautiful.
I wanted to protect her because I felt responsible for her.
I was definitely attracted to her, as was proven by that kiss.
But did my feelings go beyond that?
Whenever I looked into her eyes, I wanted to grab her and hold her close, cursing the times we had to separate. I wanted to fight all her battles. I wanted to promise her everything would turn out fine, but I had no such knowledge of what the future held. She was safe with us, but could I guarantee she’d never be put in harm’s way again? No, and that knowledge tore me up.
“Hello? Are you still there?”
“Yeah,” I hurriedly answered, wondering if Riley would say something else about me and Maddie.
“Okay, I have a break between clients, so I’m gonna swing by soon.”
“Why didn’t you want to come by while Dad was here?” I asked a question I already knew the answer to.