“I guess I wasn’t as hungry as I thought.”
“We gotta fatten you up, woman,” he teased, winking at me right before I looked down at myself. I wore one of the maxi dresses Riley had given me, and while it was comfortable, the size was a bit big.
“You think I’m too skinny?” I hadn’t meant to sound so self-conscious, but how Lincoln perceived me was important. I know it shouldn’t be, but I couldn’t halt my inner voice from rambling how he might not find me attractive at my current weight, which admittedly was under what I should be, what I’d been in the past.
“I think you’re beautiful, Maddie. Get outta your own head.” I reached for the container, but he pulled it away before I could grab it. “If you’re not hungry, you’re not hungry. Don’t force yourself to do something because you took my joke the wrong way.” I licked my lips. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Wet your lips.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to.”
Heat bloomed in my belly. “Oh.” I looked at my lap before picking my head back up, his gaze simmering against mine for the longest seconds of my life. “You do?”
“I can’t get that kiss out of my head.”
“You can’t?”
“You only gonna use one or two words to answer me?”
“No.” I smiled when he smirked. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I think about the kiss all the time, too.”
“That’s promising.” Lincoln finished his beer and slid it forward on the bar. “Wanna go back to the room now?” My mind drifted off, but before I could lose myself to all the different scenarios of why he asked that question, he caressed the side of my face. “I only meant that we could watch a movie or something. In private.”
Two of his friends walked toward us as we vacated our seats. “Where ya goin’?” Kaden asked, occupying the stool to my left.
“We’re gonna watch a movie,” Lincoln replied, resting his hand on the small of my back.
“Why not watch one out here? This TV is huge.” Ace was the one talking now. “What movie you got? Maybe we want to see it, too.” If I wasn’t mistaken, I thought I saw the corner of his lip curve upward when Lincoln shook his head. “Oh, you wanna be alone. Is that it? I can respect that. I’d love to be alone with a certain someone, but I guess she’d have to answer her phone in order for any of that shit to happen.”
“Oh, no,” Kaden griped. “Linc, don’t leave me alone with his sullen ass.”
“Fuck you, man. I’m not sullen. I’m horny.” Ace flicked his eyes at me. “No offense, Maddie. But it’s true.”
“Is it Chelsea you’re talkin’ about?” I asked, surprised I allowed myself to be so forward.
“Yeah.” He moved his head up and down before shaking it side to side. “Wait. How do you know?”
“I guessed from the interaction you had with her earlier today. There seemed like somethin’ was goin’ on with you two.”
“Oh yeah. Can you believe she—”
“Okay. That’s enough.” Lincoln gently pushed me forward. “How did you go from hardly ever discussing anything about you and Chelsea to her being the only topic? Hash it out with her or let it go, Ace. Stop goin’ back and forth already. It’s exhausting for the rest of us.”
Ace mumbled something behind us, but we were too far away now for me to hear what it was.
“He seems like he’s havin’ a hard time. If you wanna go talk to him, I don’t mind.” I opened the bedroom door and stepped inside, Lincoln right behind me. I barely made it two feet before he turned me around and crushed me to him, dipping his head low so we were eye level.
“I don’t wanna talk to Ace. I wanna hang out with you.”
He pressed his lips to mine, and what I thought was gonna be a peck on the mouth turned into something else altogether.
Bunching his shirt in my hands, I yanked him closer and devoured the sweet taste of him. I groaned into his mouth, my breaths stolen the longer we kissed. All sorts of images rushed through my head, mainly of us naked and writhing around on the bed, which was situated only a few feet from where we stood.
I tried to take a step back while continuing to hold on to him, but he broke the kiss and shook his head. At first, he didn’t say anything, but when I attempted again to make him move with me, he parted his delectable lips and spoke.
“We should stop.” His words crushed me, but I didn’t want him to know that, so I nodded, hoping I hid my disappointment well. “I don’t wanna start something when I can’t finish it. And trust me, I want to finish it… all night. But it’s wrong.”
I wasn’t gonna say anything, but him telling me it was wrong rubbed me the wrong way.
“Kissing me is wrong?”
“No. That’s not what I meant.”
“You know what, Lincoln? You don’t have to do anything with me. You don’t have to take me to dinner at your house. You don’t have to kiss me. You don’t even have to spend time with me alone.” Once I started vomiting the words, I couldn’t stop. “I like you, more than I’ve ever liked anyone in my entire life. But I get it. You can’t involve yourself with me because of what happened.”
By this time, I’d stepped away from him and walked to the other side of the room, needing the distance to calm myself.
Annoyance darted through his eyes. “I told you why I shouldn’t bring you to my house. It’s not safe. It has nothing to do with anything else.” He erased the distance between us, coming to stand directly in front of me again. “And as far as kissing you, Maddie, it’s all I think about, among other things. But I know we can’t… do anything more.”
“Why can’t we?”
Surprise contorted his expression. “Because I’d never forgive myself.”
“Why would you have to forgive yourself?” I didn’t want him to answer even though I asked the question. “What I feel for you scares me. Sometimes I can’t breathe when you’re not with me. I’m selfish because I want all your time, but I know you can’t be with me like that. I thought….” I looked away for a moment, but he didn’t like it when I stole my eyes from his.
“Go on,” he urged, turning my face back toward him and licking those damn lips of his.
“I thought if you gave yourself to me, I could take back a piece of my heart.” A lone tear drifted down my cheek, and I cursed myself for showing my weakness, which was him.
“If I gave myself to you?” A disbelieving laugh erupted from his mouth as he wiped away my tear. “Where did you come from?”
“Oklahoma,” I sheepishly replied, which made him laugh right before he pulled me into his embrace, the muscles of his arms trapping me. But I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
After a brief silence, he kissed the top of my head and pulled me toward the bed. “How about we relax and watch a movie? I think I can scrounge up a comedy.”
“Um… okay.”
“I thought I saw a couple movies in one of these drawers. I can’t tell you what they are or how long they’ve been here.” Lincoln searched through several of the drawers beneath where the television stood before he pulled two movies from the last one he looked in. It was either Forrest Gump or Reservoir Dogs. Both were way before my time, but I chose Forrest Gump. Although it wasn’t necessarily a comedy, I’d seen the film a few times and loved it. He popped in the disc and joined me on the bed, leaning forward and taking off his boots and socks before he grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head.