Darrington? That couldn’t be right. If she was Sapphire Darrington, Priestess Rena would have properly introduced her to both him and the children, and the orphans would address her as Miss Darrington rather than by her first name.
Yet the gossip surrounding the Darringtons might explain why Sapphire never used her surname.
Matthias swallowed hard. “Your brother is Lord Hyran?”
The squire nodded as they cantered their mounts toward the Dragon Cathedral.
Lord Hyran would know who Miss Darrington was and would possibly even be one of her many suitors.
Sir Matthias felt like someone had just punched him.
Miss Sapphire Darrington was one of the most sought-after heiresses in all of Tamryn, and she’d said nothing. The priestesses had said nothing.
The Sapphire he knew didn’t look or act like a noble. She sat beside unwashed orphans, helped with chores, and teased him about dancing while he made bread. Even her clothes spoke of a merchant family rather than a noble heiress.
How could he have known she was Miss Sapphire Darrington, granddaughter to one of the most powerful nobles in Tamryn?
But he should have.
Her vocabulary. Her accent. The way she held herself.
It was part of his job to understand people.
But he hadn’t wanted to see the truth. Had wanted to think she could feel for him as he did for her.
He’d been blind to who she was because he’d wanted to be.
Sir Matthias almost slapped his own forehead when he remembered asking to meet her father. Captain Gregory Darrington had died some time ago, and Sapphire wouldn’t want to introduce Matthias to her grandfather. Not only would a farmer’s son not be a fit husband for such a grand lady, but her grandfather’s relationship with the Dragon Church was strained.
A Knight of Valor, particularly a High Knight, would not be his first choice for a suitor for his granddaughter. Or any choice.
Matthias’s stomach lurched, and he regretted the second helping of stew he’d eaten for lunch.
Pain and Euphoria. Love and misery. A blessing and curse.
The dual aspects of the Twins.
And they had cursed him.
Chapter 2
Sir Matthias stood before the altar to the Dragon God and tried to form his evening prayer, but the prayer wouldn’t come. Anger merged with frustration as the letter weighed in his pocket and made it impossible to settle into his evening routine.
How many months had it been since he’d made a fool of himself in the orphanage kitchen? Since he’d learned that Sapphire was Miss Sapphire Darrington?
He cringed even now as he remembered his gracelessness.
Perhaps Matthias would visit Sir Marcus that evening. The Hero of Tamryn was home, safe, and happily married. Sir Matthias was thrilled for his friend and proud of the part he’d played in making that happen.
Matthias reminded himself he had a lot to be proud of, but such thoughts did nothing to ease the ache in his chest.
Sucking in a deep breath, he stared at the gold dragon inscribed on the altar. The calming presence of Dracor pervaded the temple, but the late hour meant few of His devotees filled the pews. On most nights, the quiet allowed Matthias time to think, pray, and rekindle his devotion.
Tonight he wanted to do anything but think.
Kneeling before the alabaster altar, Sir Matthias bowed his head. Incense teased his nose, and his breathing sounded loud in the reverent silence. He closed his eyes, and a memorized prayer passed his lips as Sir Matthias tapped the pocket he’d shoved his brother’s letter into that morning.
His brother was getting married.
As the middle brother of eight, Matthias hadn’t expected to marry first, but he also hadn’t expected to marry last. His youngest brother’s news changed that.
Staring up at the marble pillars that ringed the sanctuary, Sir Matthias studied the intricate carvings in the stone that depicted the various tenants of Dracor and the justice that He brought to the land.
Matthias didn’t regret his service to the Dragon God. He loved healing the sick and injured, spreading Dracor’s light, and serving the people of Tamryn. He’d spent a third of his life in direct service to Dracor and more than half of it serving the Dragon God in one way or another.
Sir Matthias was proud of all he’d done and all the people he’d helped.
He thought again of his brother, of the excitement that radiated through his letter announcing his marriage.
Closing his eyes, Sir Matthias whispered another prayer to Dracor. Jealousy was the purview of Rashalee. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, allow such feelings to darken his devotion.
Nor did the Dragon God forbid marriage. The church even encouraged Knights of Valor to marry and have families.
But Sir Matthias hadn’t found someone that loved him as much as they loved that he was a Knight of Valor. More than enough ladies swooned over the dragon crest on his tabard, but he wanted more.
It was an honor and privilege to serve the Dragon God, but Sir Matthias didn’t want his wife to love the symbol. He wanted to know that she loved him and that he wasn’t interchangeable with any other man that wore his uniform. Wanted to know that even if the unthinkable happened and he left the church, that the woman he married would still love him.
Sir Matthias smiled as he stared at the golden dragon inscribed into the altar and felt the presence of the divine. He was devoted to Dracor and served the Dragon God with his body and soul, but he wanted the Twin Goddesses of Love to touch his heart.
And They had.
But They had cursed him rather than blessed him.
He tried hard not to remember Miss Sapphire Darrington. Her smile. Her laugh. The lilt of her voice when she’d read stories to the children at the orphanage.
Even now, half a year later, his cheeks grew hot when he remembered what a fool he’d acted.
The crumpled note weighed in his pocket.
While no closer to finding his own happiness, Matthias would go home for his brother’s wedding. He’d enjoy seeing his brother married and reacquainting himself with his growing number of nieces and nephews, even if it reminded him he’d never have that for himself.
But he could never regret following Dracor’s path, whatever sacrifices that required.
As Matthias turned to leave, he noticed a lone woman sitting in the sanctuary. Her head was bowed, but the rich velvet of her cloak spoke to her position. While the church never truly closed, parishioners at this hour were rare. Especially wealthy female parishioners.
Sir Matthias walked towards her, ready to give aide or comfort even though he was off duty, when she glanced up at him.
Recognition punched him, and his heart thumped in his chest.
Miss Sapphire Darrington.
What could she be doing there so late?
By the Twins, she was even more beautiful than he remembered.
And it seemed he was just as foolish.
Sir Matthias cursed himself. He needed to find the Knight of Valor on duty and have him make sure Sapphire was all right. He’d do it himself, but if she needed help, she needed a Knight who wouldn’t choke on his words in front of her.
Wiping his sweaty palms on his tabard, Sir Matthias turned to go find the Knight.
“Walking away again?” Miss Darrington asked.
“I-”
“Those kids at the orphanage miss you.”
“I stop in to see them, tend their injuries, and make sure they come to church.” He just did it when she wasn’t there.