Rafe’s hand dropped to my shoulder, pushing the jacket down my arms. “Ain’t nobody watching you but me,” he said, turning his attention to the neckline of my blouse. He popped one of the buttons, then another, revealing my lacy, pale-pink bra. His hooded gaze darkened, making my skin vibrate and stomach clench.
But Rafe waited… he waited for my permission.
“Touch me,” I whispered. “I need you to touch me.”
Eight months ago, I never would have done this. I never would have let Rafe undress me and lie me down against a pile of soft blankets, under the stars.
But I was alive.
Being with Rafe, on tour with the band, reminded me of that every second of every day. I got my second chance, and whether or not I deserved it, I knew now that I had to live it.
For my parents and Molly.
For Cody.
For myself.
“Love me, Rafe,” I pleaded as he rolled me beneath him. My hands dipped under his shirt, tracing the lines of his chest. He managed to pull it over his head, his hands making quick work of his belt. I helped pop the button, helped him work his jeans down his legs, until we were nothing but skin on skin.
“I’ve waited so long for this”. It came out thick. “Living your life in the spotlight isn’t always what it’s made out to be. But these moments, quiet moments with you, I live for them, Eva.” His thumb brushed over my bottom lip as his mouth hovered near mine. “I always wondered what would happen after the band. What I would do when music is all I’ve ever known? But you changed all that. I look at you, and I want things, Starshine. Things I never thought I’d get to have.”
His words stole the air from lungs. I was only eighteen. There was so much life left to live. Things left to experience.
“I love you, Rafe Hunter,” I said, hitching my legs around his hips, pulling him closer into my body.
He kissed me, tracing his lips down the slope of my neck and nipping my collarbone. My soft moans filled the air, rising above the credits of the movie still playing in the background. Slipping a hand between us, Rafe pressed a finger inside me. The heat of his touch and the coolness of the breeze made me shiver.
“You’re always so wet for me,” he groaned the words as he circled his thumb over my clit while curling his finger deeper inside me.
“More,” I panted, clutching onto his shoulder as I rode the waves building inside me.
“Take it.” The words drifted over my lips. “Take everything, Eva.” Rafe rocked into me, his hardness pressed up against my thigh. A bolt of pleasure shot through me.
“You, I want you.” My words were choppy as I began to crash over the edge. Suddenly, Rafe’s hand was gone. Hooking my panties to one side, he guided himself inside me, stealing the air from my lungs.
“Fuck, you feel... I need a second.” Rafe stilled above me. His jaw was clenched, eyes closed as he looked to the stars. He looked so devastating, ribbons of ink running over his skin. Every tattoo a different story to his past. My hands traced down his body, curving over his slim hips.
“Rafe, I need you to—”
“Ssh.” He leaned down and kissed me. Hard and deep and bruising. “I know what you need, Starshine.” Rocking forward, Rafe filled me. Sliding a hand under my thigh, he went deeper, the gentle rocking motion making the truck buck and bronc.
But it didn’t matter.
I was too lost in him to care. Too lost in the way he played my body, creating the perfect cacophony of racing heartbeats and soft moans.
“I want to feel you,” he breathed against the shell of my ear, and my gaze slid to his in question. “Do you trust me?” he asked, and I nodded.
I trusted him implicitly.
“Hold on.” Rafe took my hands and looped then around his back. Without warning, he flipped us over, leaning back on his elbows. My laughter filled the air. When I finally caught my breath again, Rafe was staring at me with such intensity, a shiver rolled up my spine.
“Ride me, Eva.”
Rising on my knees, I grasped him in my hand, and gently inched down. It felt incredible.
He felt incredible.
“Look at you.” Rafe swallowed, trailing his fingers down the valley of my breasts, down my stomach. He curved his hands around my hips and steadied my rhythm, making it as slow and deep as possible. I felt another wave cresting. It came out of nowhere, crashing over me with brutal force.
“Rafe,” I cried, reaching out for him, to steady myself.
He sat up, crushing me to his chest, thrusting upwards, sending me soaring into the night’s sky. “Fuck,” he grunted. “I need to go harder.”
“Take it,” I barely got the words out. “Take everything, Rafe.”
He was in control now, chasing his own end, using my body as his personal instrument. The truck rocked, our breathy moans rising higher and higher over the end credits. I was crashing, sated and sleepy, but I wanted to give Rafe what he needed.
I wanted to chase his demons away.
Stroking his hair away, I cupped his face and kissed him. Our bodies were impossibly close, slick with sweat and warm with love. He began to tremble, his hands clamped around my hips.
“Eva... Jesus...” Rafe jerked inside me, collapsing back against the side of the truck bed, pulling me with him. I could hear his heart beating in his chest. He stroked my spine, drawing out every last drop of pleasure.
Neither of us spoke, but we didn’t need words. We knew what we shared was raw and intense. It was the darkest parts of our souls entwined together to create something beautiful. We were still so young. Too young to make big choices about the future.
So why did it feel like we had both just made a huge decision?
“You okay down there, Starshine?” Rafe finally broke the silence.
I peeked up at him. “I’m okay. Are you?”
“I’m... shit, Eva. I don’t even have words to describe it. When I’m with you—”
“Ssh.” I reached up, pressing a finger to his lips. I wasn’t ready for whatever he was about to say. Not when things with the tour were finally calmer.
“No more serious talk. Not tonight. Not when everything has been so perfect.”
I grabbed a blanket and pulled it around my shoulders. “What time do we have to leave?”
“We have time, Starshine.”
“Good,” I leaned up and kissed him. “Then let’s make the most of it.”
We stayed at the drive-in and watched another movie. The whole night was perfect from start to finish. But I couldn’t help but feel like I’d made a mistake shutting Rafe down when he’d been about to tell me whatever was on his mind. I just didn’t want him to say something he couldn’t take back.
And the truth was, I wasn’t sure I would survive having my heart broken a third time by him.
Levi was his brother—his family. They would always be a part of one another’s lives. Rafe felt like he’d made his choice now, but what happened down the line, when Levi needed him? Because that day would come. It would always come. I didn’t want Rafe to make promises to me that he couldn’t keep. And I didn’t want him to think he had to choose.
“Penny for your thoughts?” he said as we pulled into the rental place.