“He hasn’t touched anything except liquor as far as I know.”
It wasn’t a saving grace. Drunk Levi could be just as much trouble as high Levi. Eva made her way over to my brother, but movement from the bedroom caught my eye. “Who the hell is that?”
“You know Levi and his magical ways,” Hudson said, as we watched the random girl slip into the room unnoticed since all eyes were on Levi and Eva. Someone had found her a guitar, and she was busy tuning it.
“I’m not sure I can stick around and watch this.”
“You’re going to have to get used to that.” He pointed a finger in their direction.
“Yeah, I know.” Before I realized, I’d moved closer. Eva caught my eye, her gaze sparkling so much love, I couldn’t turn and walk away even if I’d wanted to.
“I couldn’t say no.” She mouthed.
“It’s okay,” I replied. Moving closer, I dropped onto the sectional beside Letty.
“What do you think, Angel? Shall we play something dark and dirty?”
“Something off the album,” someone yelled.
Levi’s eyes lit up at the challenge. “What do you think, Country? You think you’ve got what it takes?”
“I think I can try.”
Everyone cheered. “Show him who’s boss, Eva,” one of the roadies called.
“What do you fancy?” Levi grinned at her. He might not have been high on any substance, but he was high on the attention, the opportunity to stick it to me again.
My fist clenched at my thigh. Letty nudged my shoulder. “You cool?”
I nodded. “He’s doing this to bait me.”
“Is he? Or is he doing it because it’s the only way he knows how to communicate?”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
Phoebe chose that exact moment to appear. She sat down on the other side of Letty, a cup of something in her hand.
“Where did you get to?”
“Nowhere.” Her eyes flicked to mine, and she gave me a strange look, before sliding her gaze to my brother.
I knew that look… it was the look of longing.
Shit.
Phoebe and my brother… that was a huge fucking shitshow we didn’t need.
Eva began strumming the opening notes to The Ties That Bind. Letty gasped a little. “She went there,” she breathed.
I stared at her.
At them.
I didn’t even know Eva knew the arrangement for one of our more mainstream songs. But it didn’t surprise me. She had a gift, and she’d spent night after night watching us perform.
“I know what you’re doing, Angel.” Levi arched his brow at her, running a hand through his hair. “Someone get me a drink. I think I’m going to need it.”
Two seconds later, a cup was thrust at him. Levi downed the contents in one, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and throwing the cup over his shoulder with the other. “This one’s for you, little brother.”
“Damn, they sound good together.” Damon joined us, offering me another beer. I drained my other one and took it.
“Thanks.” It came out tight as I watched him sing about brotherhood and family. About how, no matter what was going on, you could always count on each other.
“How was it tonight?” Damon whispered, pulling me from my thoughts. Everyone was too captivated by my brother and Eva to be paying us any attention. But then, it was hard not to be.
“I’m in so fucking deep with her.” I admitted.
His mouth curved. “I’m happy for you, truly.”
“Thanks.”
Eva harmonized the chorus, her tone softening Levi’s jagged edges. Letty caught my eye and I noticed she was filming.
“This is perfect for your social media accounts,” she mouthed. She lived for that shit; anything to bring us closer to our fans.
“You should go join them,” Damon said, flicking his head to one of the other guitars propped up in the corner of the room.
“Yes!” Letty beamed.
“Nah, I’m not sure—”
“Get over here, brother.” I don’t know if Levi had heard Damon, or if it had been his plan all along, but I found myself standing up to a rumble of cheers.
I didn’t pick up the other guitar though. Instead, I grabbed a stool and positioned it behind Eva, pulling her onto my knee and sliding my arms through hers. “Play with me, Starshine?” I moved my hands into position beneath hers.
“Any requests?” Levi asked the small crowd.
“Chasing Nirvana,” Phoebe was first to answer.
A strange expression etched in Levi’s face. “That’s dark, New Girl.”
She shrugged. “It’s one of my favorites.”
He sucked in a harsh breath, tilting his head slightly, his eyes fixed on hers, as if she was a puzzle he was trying to solve.
Jesus, what was happening right now?
“Chasing Nirvana, it is,” I said, breaking the tension rippling between them. “Do you think you can pick it up?”
Eva nodded, stealing a quick kiss. Someone shrieked—Letty most likely—as I captured her face and slipped my tongue between her lips.
“Okay, okay, lovebirds, enough of that,” Levi fake retched. “We have a song to sing.” He downed another cup of liquor, swaying on his feet.
“Hey,” I lowered my voice. “You good?”
“I’m good, little brother.” A sloppy grin broke over his face. “Let’s do this.”
I ran my nose up Eva’s spine before leaning around her and strumming the opening notes to the song. It was one of our darker tracks, full of pain and suffering. I’d woken up one morning, right after we’d been signed to the label, to find the coffee table covered in lyrics. Levi was asleep on the couch, the pen still in his hand, the floor around him littered with empty bottles.
“Late night?” I’d asked him, after getting him a glass of water and some Advil.
“The nightmares...” he’d said around a grimace. “But I wrote something. I think it’s good. What do you think?”
I’d read the scattered lyrics, trying to make sense of his drunken ramblings. But I had quickly realized they weren’t drunken ramblings at all, they were articulate feelings. Levi had bled his state of mind out all over the table.
Levi met my stare and nodded, and I saw another glimpse of my brother.
* * *
I hear the voices, inside my head
Whispering things of sorrow and sin
I hear the voices, inside my head
They taunt me, telling me to just give in
To succumb to the pain, to let go and fall
But I don’t wanna relent, I don’t wanna fade
* * *
It feels so good, but it hurts so bad
This high that I’m riding, don’t want it to end
I don’t wanna come down, don’t make me come down
‘Cos I’m chasing... I’m chasing nirvana
* * *
It feels so good, but it hurts so bad
This high that I’m riding, don’t want it to end
I don’t wanna come down, don’t make me come down