She shifted in her chair and a blush bloomed on her cheeks. I hoped her discomfort was unsatisfied sexual tension and not fear.
“You can be honest. Even if all we do is work on your manuscript, you may expect brutal honesty from me. That’s just who I am.” I waited for her response for a few seconds as she considered it. ‘It’s okay to tell me the truth, Addison. I respect it.”
She cleared her throat and took another sip of her champagne, then spoke slowly. “I find you extremely exciting, but at the same time; you’re larger than life; sort of untouchable. Which can be scary.”
“Believe me, Addison. I’m touchable.”
“Yes,” her lips curved into a small smile as she looked down at her lap and then back up at me. “Jaxon…” A shiver ran through me at her use of my full given name. “I am just as turned on by whatever this is, but honestly, I’m afraid you’ll break my heart, and I’m not an idiot.”
The intense throbbing that had been nagging at my groin since she’d arrived only got worse hearing her admit that she wanted me, too. I already knew it to be true, but somehow hearing her say it, made it real. Yet, she felt she could get emotional and that wasn’t something I wanted to encourage. The prospect made me pause.
I tented my hands and studied her, though my instinct was to reach out for her hands. The desire between us was a tangible thing, but I had to remember that she was young and her emotions had yet to acquire the callouses that life had a tendency to add over time. When I didn’t say anything, she continued.
“Remember when you said in class that sex to men was different than it was to women and we should remember our audience? In this case, I’m your audience, Prof—” She stopped and bit her lower lip with her perfect top teeth before opening them again. “I mean, Jax.”
“You don’t think we can have a physical relationship without developing feelings,” I stated.
“Given how passionate you seem… well, how I imagine it would be with you, it’s doubtful, and...”
I wanted to tell her she had no idea how passionate it would be… “And?” I prompted.
She closed her eyes and bit her lip. Instantly, my cock was as hard as steel; my mind pictured her hair splayed against white sheets, her eyes closed in passion as I fucked her, her orgasm a mere breath away. It was all I could do not to reach down and wrap my hand around the swollen appendage pushing insistently against the confines of my dark dress slacks. Thank God I wasn’t wearing jeans, or I would have been in physical pain.
“And, I think as a writer of love scenes, you’ll agree that men can’t fall in love without sex, and women can’t have sex without falling in love. At least, not the sheet melting, heart-pounding kind.”
“Like I think it will be between us,” I ground out.
“Yes,” she admitted.
“I’m sure it will,” I almost growled out. “Count on it.”
Her eyes closed slowly, and she moaned. “I know. I can already feel you inside me and you haven’t even touched me.” She looked at me with wide eyes, startled by her own words. “Oh.”
“Jesus Christ,” I groaned as her words shot straight to my already aching groin. Talk about giving me a dose of my own medicine! Did she expect me to be celibate with her after she said something like that? It was like we were the only people in the restaurant, the only people in New York, the only people in the entire fucking world.
I knew that it didn’t matter how long I had to suffer, how much time I had to spend without touching her, or how much torture it would be to be close to her without taking her, if I wanted it to happen, I had to be patient, but I wouldn’t lie to her in the meantime.
“I come with my own warning. If you don’t want me to fall in love with you, then we can’t get physical.”
I wanted her so much, I wasn’t sure if I wasn’t willing to risk it. I realized her words to me, here in this restaurant was like her writing. Sexy as fuck and whether she’d designed it that way or not, I was lost. A light sweat was breaking out on my skin, making my shirt lightly cling to the muscles of my arms and chest and I threw back the rest of the champagne in my glass just as André reappeared.
“We’ll take it a day at a time.”
She only nodded.
“I have your table now, sir,” André said. “I bet you’re starving by now.”
“You have no idea, Andre,” I answered, with a smile though unable to pull my gaze from my lovely date.
I was afraid to stand due to the major boner I had working, but there was nothing for it. I grabbed the champagne bottle, letting the napkin fall loose to drape next to the bottle then started to stand, indicating with my hand that André should lead the way to the dining room and that Addison should precede me.
She wore a knowing smile as she left the bar in front of me. I could only hope that the dimness of the venue, the bottle and how close I was walking behind the enchanting young woman I was with would keep the other patrons from noticing just how very hungry I was.
The restaurant was small, but on the way to our table in the back Jaxon was stopped twice by people who knew him, and I was nervous about the introductions. Would he tell them I was one of his students? The last thing I wanted was to be known for dating my professor and sleeping my way to the top of publishing, though I wasn’t certain publishing was even in the cards at this point. I shouldn’t have worried because Jax used no labels; only my name. He was charming and gracious.
I was thankful for the stops on the short walk through the venue because it was a distraction from the conversation that had become decidedly heated over drinks in the bar area.
My body was aching in all the right and wrong places and attraction was so thick as it hung around us; I wasn’t sure if we’d even make it to dinner before going at it. I felt him. I couldn’t explain it any other way than I felt him, even though he hadn’t touched me until he ushered me through the restaurant with a hand at the back of my waist. I was sure he felt me tremble under his touch. I felt a bit foolish at the flutter in my stomach and weakness in my knees. He was sophisticated and worldly, and I was acting like a school girl afraid of her first kiss.
It should have concerned me that I was actually considering giving in to whatever this was, or could become, and something inside told me that he’d affect me this way regardless if he were my professor and held my career in his hands or not. It wasn’t the prospect of him mentoring me that had me so fascinated. I was a little embarrassed by how forthcoming I’d been with him about my desire, but I blamed the sheer palpability of the hunger that reverberated around us for the looseness of my tongue. Never before in my life had a man motivated this brashness in me, but then, I’d never been around anyone quite as engrossing, or in fact, completely disarming as Dr. Jaxon Michaels. He stole my breath even as I took in deep gulps of air.
He was all man; confident, sexual, impeccably dressed, and in control, though overtly sensually predatorial, and maybe that was the difference. He’d made it clear that he wanted me, both over text and in his office, yet I trusted him. I had no doubt that Jax would commit to keeping it platonic, if that were what I wanted. At this point; I didn’t. Not even close. My sex had clenched a hundred times during our little discussion, and there were moments when I’d been certain I would come just sitting across from him. I knew I should run away, yet I was held where I was by the promise of his desire alone. Like a moth to a flame, I drifted closer, though I was aware that I would be scorched alive.