“No, it was my mom just checking in.”
“Oh,” she smiled, seemingly satisfied.
It was in that moment Jax came on stage placing his brief case on the desk, as was his habit. He opened it amid the sudden silence of the large room, his eyes flashing up to connect with mine briefly. I couldn’t help the shudder that went through me.
“Goddamn,” Michelle muttered softly. “I can’t get over how hot he is. Up close he’s…”
“Shhh,” I said. “Class is starting.”
“Good afternoon,” Jax stated. “Today we’re going to discuss the importance of sexual tension in novels,” he began. “It’s easy to throw in technical terms while writing, but don’t get bogged down with them. I noticed in your assignments that some of you don’t feel comfortable describing body parts, and that’s fine. You can create lots of sexual tension, even if you want your love scenes to fade-to-black.” I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, and I felt as if he was speaking only to me, even though he wasn’t looking at me, which I knew was intentional. His silky voice and his words were enough to arouse me.
“The implication of them is sometimes enough to drive the story, but unresolved sexual tensions or “UST” as it is sometimes referred to, is crucial for any type of romantic relationships in your writing. Even if your story has no love scenes at all, tension…” his eyes flashed to mine again, “is a must.”
I felt heat rush through me; certain my face was getting red. The tension he was talking about was palpable between us as I tore my eyes from his to look back at my computer screen. I didn’t know if it would be possible to keep things platonic, but if we didn’t, how would I know whether he was really sincere in his desire to mentor me?
“Fuck me,” a woman behind me muttered under her breath.
“Dude, I would do him in a New York minute,” another said. I found myself getting annoyed and was hard pressed not to turn around and ask them to shut up.
“Who can tell me some ways to build the tension in a story?” he asked the class. I wanted to keep watching him. My eyes were hungry as they roamed over his spectacular form. He was without a jacket, though he’d replaced his tie, his sleeves were still rolled up as they were in his office this morning. My eyes kept landing on the fly of his dress slacks remembering the bulge I’d witnessed earlier his office. How was I going to concentrate if I couldn’t keep my mind out of his pants?
Oh, God. I rubbed the back of my neck forcing my eyes back to my computer screen and my fingers to hammer out my notes.
I could think of several things to increase tension, including foreshadowing; like putting a sexual scene in the mind of the reader in advance of the actual deed, which was exactly what had happened to me in Jax’s office. I was living it in Technicolor, and it was making me squirm; which no doubt was his intention. I didn’t raise my hand to answer, but instead kept my mouth shut and my head down; instead letting him call on others. I couldn’t bring attention to myself again, not today.
I wavered between reminding myself not to be obvious about the direction of my thoughts and struggling to pay attention to the content of the lecture. I’d have to speak to him about his demand that I sit so close to the stage if he wanted me to get anything out of the class. But could I? How would that go, my mind screamed. Hey, Jax, you know how you said I had to do the work in class? Well, all I can think about is your hands and mouth on me during the lectures and so, it will be impossible to learn a damn thing! Yeah, sure…. That would work.
Several times during his lecture, I felt his eyes land on me, and it was confirmed when I’d serendipitously glanced up from my computer. I tried to furiously type what he was saying word-for-word in an effort to keep from staring at him and imagining all sorts of delicious things he could do to my willing body. The sex dripping from his voice didn’t help. I doubted I was the only one who heard it. Surely, he affected every woman in the room in a similar way. My cheeks were flushed with heat and my chest felt tight.
Was I jealous? I barely knew him so that was crazy to consider, yet, how else could I explain my discomfort? Despite my emotional turmoil, I felt my body’s reaction, and though I tried to concentrate on his current words, his voice saying he wanted to rip my clothes off earlier was rolling through my brain.
I sucked in my breath loud enough for Michelle to glance in my direction. I didn’t meet her eyes. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to go through with this. As much as I wanted his help with the book, I wanted him more, and I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to resist, and if I didn’t, I had to be honest with myself. Would I be able to stop myself from falling for him? Then what happened when the semester was over, or my book was published? Would I be able to handle it when he was done with me? My stomach fluttered as my heart dropped.
I didn’t think I could work with him without getting involved, and he’d already admitted sex was inevitable, but involvement was not on his agenda. I’d never in my life felt the need to run. I froze raising my eyes to the magnificent man only a few feet away from me. He was going about teaching the class, walking in the other direction and I realized I couldn’t even look at him without imagining him making love to me; hot, sexy, passionate and desperate. I felt flustered and feverish; my skin was clammy. I glanced around and realized so many of the other women in the room were imagining the same thing, and I panicked.
Fear seized my heart. What was I doing even considering this arrangement? No matter how much he could benefit my career, I knew he could break my heart. Jaxon Michaels was dangerous.
Without thinking, I slammed my laptop shut without shutting it down, grabbed my book bag, shoved the computer inside and frantically zipped it closed.
“What are you doing?” Michelle whispered. “There’s still thirty-five minutes left in class.”
“I feel like I’m going to throw up. I have to get out of here.” I stood and began moving through the row to the aisle. “Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry.” I said to those I needed to move past. As I got to the end of the row, I looked up and into a brilliant blue stare. I swallowed and then rushed up the stairs and out of the auditorium. Somehow, his voice continued without missing a beat behind me.
My heart was beating so fast I thought it would fly from my body. I found the bathroom in the lobby of the building and burst through the door of the first stall I could get into; puking my guts up without even closing the door behind me.
When I was finished retching into the toilet, I pushed my hair back off of my forehead and tried to catch my breath. The foul taste in my mouth made me blanch. I was on my haunches still staring at the toilet as it flushed.
What the hell was that?
Thankfully, the bathroom was vacant. Who would miss one word of Jaxon Michael’s lectures? I stood up and picked up the backpack I’d unceremoniously dropped at my feet and moved out of the stall to the sink, to splash some cold water on my face and scoop some up to suck into my mouth to rid it of the icky taste.
“Oh, God,” I said, leaning my weight on the counter. My head lifted and I looked at my face. My eyes were wide and my skin, that I was sure was on fire, surpassingly pale. I wasn’t a virgin, so why was I acting like he was going to devour me, body and soul?