“I gave that assignment for a reason, and I’m sorry to have done so. I just… I’ve never had a woman walk out on me before, and I didn’t know what to do with myself, especially since I was so taken by you. I was the one who felt humiliated and I couldn’t just let it go, and I sure as hell couldn’t stop thinking about our night together.” To her credit, she didn’t push me away and storm out of my penthouse and my life. “I suppose, I felt…” I paused searching for the right words. “If I made you face what had happened between us, relive it in a sense, you’d realize that it meant something. That it was real.”
“I already knew it was real. You didn’t,” Addison accused.
She was so wise. “No, I think I did, but it scared the hell out of me. I was feeling out of control and I’ve never found myself wanting. Not like this.” This admission was huge for me, but I wasn’t finished with my confession.
‘So, you wanted to get back at me?” Her tone was hurt. She started to push on my chest, and I grabbed her wrist, pushing it into the mattress and moving one of my thighs across her legs to settle her. “I left because I was scared!”
“I know that now, Addison! Stop! Hear me out! I’m trying to be completely honest because I don’t want us to start out with misunderstandings.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have been this honest…
The sun was coming up a little more now and there was enough light to see her scowl and the angry glitter in her beautiful eyes. She tried to lift her wrists, but I flexed my muscles and easily held her in place under me. “Stop,” I demanded again. “Let me finish and if you want to leave afterward, I’ll let you go, but hear me out.”
“What would have happened if you didn’t like what I wrote? Because I was going to write that I hated every moment of it!” Addison snapped. She was so fucking beautiful. Full of fire and spit and it only served to make my heart beat increase as blood flooded into my dick.
“Well, for one, I wouldn’t believe you, even if you were able to write it that way. I’ve been with enough women to know your response was real.” Maybe I dismissed her retort too easily, but it was the truth. There was no hiding how affected she was. “The fact is you write with your whole soul… Maybe I wanted to see inside your heart, and if I couldn’t ask you… I’d be able to read it. It was selfish, but I was going crazy!” My jaw set firmly as I stared down at her.
“Is that all?” she demanded.
If only it was. She’d probably kick me in the balls when she heard the rest. “No. It was my plan to make you read it aloud in class.” I kept my eyes on hers, willing her to understand how much this admission cost me; the price could be any chance I had with her.
Her mouth fell open, aghast and she started to struggle even more. I ended up fully on top of her, straddling her hips and up on my hands and knees.
“Get off of me!” she demanded.
I stilled her struggles. “I wasn’t just humiliated, Addison, I was hurt! When you ran out after what I thought was the most mind-blowing night of my life, I wasn’t thinking straight. I wanted to punish you, and me, too, I guess! I knew I shouldn’t pursue you, yet I did anyway.”
Her chest was heaving; the result of her efforts to get free, but then she suddenly stopped. Tears erupted from her closed eyes and rolled down the sides of her face onto my pillows. “You’d really do that to me?” she cried brokenly. “Make me bare it all in front of two hundred others?”
I was panting as much as Addison was. I placed my forehead on hers and closed my eyes. “No. When it came right down to it, I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. I want whatever this is between us to work!”
She stopped trying to resist, but she was still crying, and it pained me to watch it. I wanted to kiss the tears away, I wanted to comfort her in any way possible; to lose myself in her and for her to do the same with me.
Tenderness surged within me. Never in my life had someone compelled such desire, and at the same time, my instinct to protect and cherish. “You blew me away,” I said gently. “From moment one. That never happens to me. After our night together, I was all in. Then you left and I was left wondering what the hell happened from that incredible night to… nothing. It monumentally fucked me up.”
“I guess you had a taste of what you dish out, huh?” she shot back, not quite angry, but hurt and jealous. Was she jealous of the women who threw themselves at me?
“I don’t fuck my students, Addison. I’ve already told you, you’re an anomaly, so why keep hammering me? I can’t help the horny coeds. They don’t let me screen who takes my class, and I sure as fuck can’t control their actions.”
Her chest, still heaving in a steady rise and fall, slowed. She was calmer now.
Addison’s body relaxed, so I released her wrists and moved to her side, gathering her close so that we faced each other. I scooted her closer and touched her forehead with mine. We were nose to nose. I cupped her face; my thumb grazing back and forth along her tear dampened cheek. Her mouth was quivering, and I wanted with everything inside me to quell it; I wanted to sooth her pain and make her understand. I needed to make her understand.
“All I need to know is whether you want this to work? Because… I do, Addison.”
“For sex?”
I sighed and kissed the side of her mouth softly. “Yes. Always… but more than just sex.”
She sniffed and nodded. Her expression changed from an angry frown to a soft smile and I knew I’d won this battle. “I do, too, but how will it work? I mean the class? Keeping it all secret? I don’t want you to give me a good grade because we’re sleeping together.”
“I won’t,” I said simply, hoping the conversation could end so we could make love again, and then catch a few hours of sleep. She was right, one night wasn’t enough time to fly down to Tennessee to my cabin, particularly since we had stayed up all night. Maybe we could go for a long weekend over Thanksgiving.
She backed away, her eyebrow arching skeptically.
“I won’t!” I assured incredulously.
“I’d still feel weird about it.”
I rolled my eyes, exasperated. “It’s a little late to feel weird about it, Addison. You didn’t seem to mind when my dick was inside of you all night.”
“Jax!” She shoved my bare shoulder and started to pull away, but my arms tightened as I laughed. I loved that she was embarrassed by my words. It reiterated her lack of experience and innocence. Even if she wrote smoking hot sex on the page, she still had a certain naivety that I found extremely engaging. “I can’t have you grading work I may have written while I’m with you. That’s like cheating.”
Was she serious? I smiled at her integrity, feeling extremely content that I’d confessed, and she was still in my arms.
“You mean, that I’ve inspired?” I bent to kiss her shoulder.
“Maybe.”
“Okay,” I conceded, grinning so hard it hurt. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll have Luke grade your work; though I’ll miss reading it.”
“Just my work? He’ll know somethings up if he’s only assigned to read my work.”