My mood wasn’t helped by the fact that I’d gotten absolutely no sleep. After watching Cain eat out Sera in the motherfucking hallway last night, I’d had an aching case of blue balls to compete with the dark cloud of guilt that seemed to surround me after I’d kissed Serendipity.
Stupid dumb fuck.
“Are we ready or what? I have shit to do today that doesn’t involve waiting for the fucking quilting circle to assemble,” I snapped at the men piling into the room.
Everyone hustled their asses into their seats, and I ignored Solomon’s questioning look. I banged a gavel and everyone went silent. Gotta respect the sanctity of Church.
“I’m sure you guys haven’t missed the pregnant chick roaming the halls. We’ve offered Serendipity the protection of Damnation MC, but she comes with some pretty bad shit tailing her. If you want to send your Old Ladies to visit their mothers for awhile, now would be the time.”
Herb leaned forward, resting his elbows on the long mahogany conference table that was our round table. “If she comes with so much fucking drama, why don’t we just send her on her way instead?”
There were a few murmurs around the room, and I noticed Cain mentally noting every single one of them. But this was the point of Church. They could voice their opinions here, but they knew that my word was law.
End of fucking discussion.
I leaned back in my chair. “When this Club was founded, it was on the premise that women were to be treated with respect. We might be fucking animals, but women would be safe here.” We’d been raw from the death of Laura. Some of the old timers had remembered my wife. Remembered her infectious laugh and her bright eyes. Those same old timers remembered her battered body on the metal table in the morgue, almost completely unrecognizable. When we’d put it in our Charter that we were a safe haven for women and children, it had been unanimously agreed.
But some of the members around us don’t remember those times. Had never met Laura.
I didn’t care. They knew the rules when they’d signed on. “Do you have a problem with the Charter you signed up to, Herb? Because the door is fucking there. You knew what we were about when you patched in.”
Herb sneered, and he just rocketed to the top of my ‘punch in the fucking face’ list. Herb was a legacy member, but he didn’t have his daddy’s integrity. He was a cowardly little shitstain, but he was still a member. A good President knew that they wouldn’t be best buddies with every member, hell they really couldn't be best buddies with any of the members. Your members had to fear and respect you in equal measure.
Herb needed that fear beaten back into him, apparently. I looked over at Goliath, who had narrowed his eyes in Herb’s direction too.
Herb crossed his arms over his chest but kept his mouth shut.
“If no one else wants to protest, let’s get down to business already. We have a shipment of green to go out to the low level dealers this week…”
For the next hour, we went over the workings of the Club. It ran a lot more like a business than a civvy would know. We didn’t just sit around, drinking, fucking and destroying shit all day long, though sometimes that happened too.
While we only dealt in weed and stolen electronics, we were trying to go legit. The time for illegal activities was almost over. We could make a shit heap of money in property and business now. We were slowly going legal, and while that still meant strip joints and tattoo parlors, at least they were legit.
I listened as Trigger explained how the economic downturn had been good for Apocalypse, bringing in crowds even during the week. Nothing like forgetting your problems by sticking a crumpled dollar bill in a stripper’s g-string and drinking bottom-shelf bourbon.
By the time Trigger was done, so was I. I needed fucking coffee and a nap. I needed to get my dick wet in a woman who didn’t look like sunshine. Who didn’t make my heart feel like it would beat out of my chest. Who didn’t make my skin crawl with guilt every time I thought about kissing her then remembered my dead wife and kid.
I slammed the gavel down. “Church is out. You all know what to do. Get the fuck out of here.”
I waited until they all left, and the only people remaining were my four. I rubbed my eyes to ease the pounding headache taking root behind my forehead.
“Long night, Pres?” Cain asked, and I growled low in my throat. He squared up to me, and I felt my nose flare as my anger flared.
Trigger, who was easily the smartest man I’d ever met, took a big step toward the door. See. Smart.
Solomon cocked his head. “Did I miss something?”
“Your boy here just kept me up all night face-fucking his property in the hallway.”
I saw the flash of jealousy on Solomon’s face before he shut it down.
Trigger slapped Cain on the back. “Way to go man. Does she taste as good as she looks?”
Every set of eyes in the room drilled into his skull, each look promising pain, even mine. Hell, even Goliath’s. I took back what I said about him being smart. If he said something stupid like that again, I’d rip his tongue out.
Trigger held up his hands. “Woah, woah. Kidding. I have no interest in your girl, I promise. I also have no interest in whatever thing you guys have going on with her. I might just go out and see what Shots needs for inventory right now.”
He fucking hightailed it out of the room like he was one second away from getting Goliath’s boot up his ass.
Cain slammed his hands down on the table, his shoulders rippling with tension. “We need to talk about this shit. Yes, I went down on Sera. Yes, I fully intend on fucking her whenever and wherever she wants it.” I watched the anger flow out of him. “She’s not just a fuck. She’s something more. I can’t explain it.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “I want to know what happened last night. I found her crying next to the back fucking door.”
Every single eye turned toward me, and I knew how Trigger felt a moment ago. “I didn’t hurt her!” Cain and Solomon looked like they wanted to draw and quarter my ass on their Harleys. Goliath let out a scary ass grunt that could have been anything from outrage to a lament that I didn’t actually hurt her. Could never know with that fucker. He did save her last night though. He hadn’t asked for his shirt back. Goliath’s fucked up feelings were a problem for another day. “I kissed her. Then I felt guilty because I enjoyed it. Laura and Max are dead in the ground, and I was dying to kiss another woman.”
Solomon’s face softened in a way that made me want to slit his fucking throat, but Cain still looked hard and unforgiving. “Why would that make her cry?”
I shrugged, but I knew why. I wiped her kiss off my mouth like she disgusted me. But it wasn’t her kiss that repulsed me. I disgusted myself. Then I stormed off like a fucking teenager. Sighing, I slumped down in the chair.
“We need to talk about this,” Sol repeated softly. He was right, but I was scared. Fucking terrified. I couldn’t tell him that though.
“Not fucking now, Sol.”
Cain slammed his fist down on the table, making it creak in protest. “Yes, fucking now. Laura is dead, Judas. The men who loved her are all dead too. We aren’t those men anymore. We are the fucking Horsemen.” He swallowed hard. “I loved Laura so much that when she died, I didn’t think I could possibly love another woman again. I felt like my heart had broken into a billion damn pieces and I’d never find them all to put it back together. Hell, I never even looked. I was happy to bury it down there with her.” He took a deep breath. “But Sera, man. It’s like she was made for us. It’s fucking kismet. A half-blood angel wanders the earth for thousands of years and then magically ends up in the hands of the Four Horsemen of the goddamn Apocalypse?” He scoffs. “If she had any idea what the hell we are, I’d be suspicious. But she is just sad and scared and she needs us. All of us.”