Crowding him, I walk right up to him until my boots touch his. “I’ll fucking leave when I damn well please, and you better send her her check in the mail. Otherwise, I’ll personally come to get it.”
Beads of sweat form against his forehead, and I consider knocking him out, but choose not to. Enough blood has been spilled by my hand tonight. God knows, if Sebastian had to come bail me out of jail, I would never hear the end of it.
Giving him one last dirty look, I turn and walk out of the piece of crap place, knowing damn well, I would do it all over again.
When it comes to Jude, there isn’t anything I won’t do.
8
Jude
My hands are still trembling when we get into the truck. Lex doesn’t say anything, and I do my best not to look at his fists, which are bloody. I know I’ve basically lost my job because of this, but I can’t find it in myself to blame him for hurting those men.
I can still see the feral look in his eyes, the way he gritted his teeth and the sound of his knuckles as they landed against flesh.
Those men were going to do far worse to me than Lex had done to them if he hadn’t shown up. I knew it, and I was ready to fight, not caring if it was two against one. Luckily, it never came to it, and Lex swooped in like a white knight, ready to save the day.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watch him struggle to gain control over his emotions. His chest is heaving, and even in the dark space, I can see his features are wild, his eyes darting everywhere, the angle of his cheeks higher, and his jaw tightened and sharp as a knife’s edge. He’s dangerous, and chaos, and everything I need to stay away from, but yet can’t.
Lex finally breaks the silence, and the tension seems to ease between us.
“Look, I’m sorry you had to see that, but it was either, hurt them or let them hurt you, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.”
I nod. “I know.”
And I do, I know it was them or me in that instance, and I’m grateful that Lex was there.
“I know this is the second time you’ve seen that side of me, but I don’t want you to assume that I’m a violent person. I wouldn’t ever hurt you, or even touch you in a fit of rage. The person who did that to your back…they’ll pay for hurting you.”
His fiery need to protect me, makes me want to ease deeper into him, but I can’t allow myself to do that. He’s not a safety net that I can jump into, he won’t catch me if I fall.
Shaken up, I settle into the seat for the remainder of the drive. When we pull up to the house, I grab my bag from the back seat and get out of the truck just as he shifts it to park. I feel sick thinking of how much I’ve relied on Lex without even realizing it.
I promised myself when my father disowned me that I wouldn’t let myself be controlled by another. I think Lex’s feelings come from a good place, but I can’t be sure. I can’t trust him just yet. I’m worried I’m falling back into old habits.
I can feel Lex trailing behind me and stop at the door so he can open it. Once inside, I slip out of my shoes. My feet are throbbing, and my head is pounding. I really just want to shower and go to sleep, but I have homework, and it’s been a while since I ate something, so I should probably do that.
“I’m going to make us some dinner, do you want to join me in the kitchen?” Lex offers, and I nibble on my bottom lip with indecision. Getting closer to him will only make things worse once he’s let go of the idea of protecting and watching over me. Somehow, I’m still tempted to be around him, drawn into the goodness like a moth to a flame.
“Sure,” I reply before I can really think deeper on it. Lex seems relieved by my choice and walks into the kitchen. A moment later, I hear the faucet turn on. He’s probably cleaning the blood off his hands.
Images of the way he took those two guys out flicker through my mind. The pure will and determination in his movements. He didn’t hesitate one single bit. He didn’t think about the consequences, he just attacked. I shouldn’t be okay with him inflicting violence on my behalf, but Lex has wormed his way into my heart.
Grabbing my books out of my bag, I walk into the kitchen and hover in the doorway, watching Lex as he moves around the kitchen.
He must sense my eyes on him because he whips around after putting the pasta in the water. Our gazes collide, a flame of unexplainable need flickering in my belly.
“Sit. Do your work, and I’ll finish dinner,” he tells me, and I do just that, my body obeying without thought.
I don’t even bother opening my books though because I already know focusing on any type of schoolwork is pointless with him in the room. My brain has officially been through the blender.
“You know, you could’ve gone to jail tonight fighting those guys.”
Lex shrugs. “Then I would’ve gone to jail.”
“Just like that?” I’m shocked that he would give up his freedom for me so easily.
“Just like that. There isn’t a damn thing I won’t do for you, Jude.” He looks over at me when he speaks this time, and I swear my cheeks heat to the temperature of the sun.
“What is it about me that interests you?”
Lex stirs the spaghetti sauce that is now bubbling in a skillet. “I haven’t figured it out yet. All I know is that I want to get to know you more. I want to see inside you, see what makes you tick. I want to know what you like and what you hate. Basically, I want to know everything there is to know about you.”
Suddenly I’m overwhelmed with feelings and emotions. How is he going to feel when he realizes I’m not actually that interesting? That I’m just a broken girl, living a hopeless dream?
“Tell me about your family.”
Of course, that would be the first thing he asks. I blink away the tears threatening to fill my eyes as I think about how I’m going to answer this question without giving away that I have nothing and no one. Unable to hold the tears back a second longer, they fall from my eyes, leaving cold trails against my cheeks.
Lex’s face fills with confusion as he turns to me, dropping the spoon and crossing the space between us. His hands grip onto mine, the warmth of his touch easing into the cold crevasses of my body.
“I… I have no one…”
Lex frowns at my words, and I swear it’s like I’m reliving the moment all over again. I can still hear my father telling me never to come back, that I could die, and he wouldn’t care.
“You have me,” he whispers, and his words are like an electrical shock to my emotions. “You have me, and I’m not going anywhere.” The reassuring tone he gives me, makes me want to believe him, but I know better. It’s a false sense of hope that I won’t give into ever again.
I decide to divert the attention off of me by asking, “What about you? Your family?”
Lex gives me a toothy grin. “There are three of us Miller boys. Remington is my youngest brother, then there is Sebastian, who is the Dean, and then me. There’s also Pops, my dad.”
I nod, unsure of how to respond. I look down at his hands, which engulf mine as he holds them.
“My brothers are married and have kids. I’m just the cool uncle now.” I glance up and catch him smiling again, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, which leads me to believe there’s an emotion beneath it. “I was in the Marines, then I got out, and now I work at Iron Fist Gym with that guy that you saw the other day on campus. His name is Luke, and his wife goes to school at North Woods.”