I place one final kiss on her lips, then run upstairs to the bathroom before anyone can see me. God knows, my brothers would give me shit for days if they saw me with lipstick on my face. Watching her tonight. It was like watching a tennis match, an opera, and my favorite movie of all time, all at once. It was suspenseful, surprising, intense, beautiful, confusing, and heart-swelling, all together in some hardcore, blow-out-your-brain-cells sort of way. I could not have been prouder of her and was happy everyone really seemed to love her.
When I saw her crying with Maggie and Kayla on her lap, it made me wonder what her upbringing must have been like. I know it wasn’t good, but still, I would like to know more. I want her to talk to me, share everything with me. I want to take her pain away, want to bring her into my arms, and hold onto her forever.
She seemed as if she would be a natural mother, and I know if I wanted anyone to have my children, it would be her. I could even picture her pregnant, glowing and grouchy–nothing would matter, she would have everything handed to her on a silver platter. I’d give her the world a thousand times over.
Unfortunately, I don’t think my fantasies played into or alongside her goals. She’s made it clear, she wants no part in settling down.
Looking in the mirror, I wipe tirelessly, trying to get the damn red lipstick off my face so the boys won’t razz me all night, but it isn’t budging.
“Damn it, Lex, pregnant women should get first dibs on bathrooms. How much longer are you going to be?” Lily bangs on the door to emphasize the urgency of her words.
Shit! “I’m out! But you have to,” I open the door, so she sees the mess on my face, “save me from the catcaller you married.”
Lily laughs as she yanks me out of the bathroom and slams the door shut. “If your beauty removal regime makes me pee my pants, all bets are off!”
I laugh and rattle-tap-tap the door before I leave and head back to the party. Lily is such a good match for Seb. She is fun and feisty and gives a burst of life to my sometimes mechanical brother.
When I enter the kitchen, I see Maddie waddling between the sea of legs and save her just before she gets away from me, which causes her to erupt with giggles. We are doing the mid-dinner break, where we get up, stretch our legs, and make coffee. While it’s brewing, we slice up the pie and then take it all back into the dining room for round two.
This is our way, and the way it’s been for a few years now. Family has always been important to my father, but it became even more important when my mother walked away.
I listen as the family pummels Jude with questions, wanting to know her better now that she’s had time to settle in.
“So, how did you and Lex meet?” Rem asks as he bounces Kayla in his arms.
“We met at a social outing.” Of course, she is being vague, and I wonder then if she is uncomfortable. I decide to stay close in case she needs me to run interference and get my brothers to shut up.
“Lex does social outings?” Rem raises an eyebrow at me as he makes air quotes with his free hand. “That sounds like what a man wearing lipstick would do.”
I scratch my head with my middle finger pointed, so he knows it’s for him.
He pretends to pick his nose and offers me a booger.
I give him a look, and we both break out into laughter.
“Well, it was maybe more of a bar?” Jude is out of her depth. I’m doubtful she even knows how to read their responses.
“Where did you grow up?”
“What is your family like?”
“Do you have siblings too?”
The questions come out almost simultaneously from Lily and Jules.
Pops walks in and redirects things right as I was about to.
“Ah, quit peppering my muse. She will tell us all about herself when she is ready. In the meantime, let her just get used to all of you,” he wiggles the foot of Kayla, “and you, kiddos.”
Jude looks panicky and grateful as if she just missed getting hit by a train.
I walk toward her with Maggie in my arms. Almost the second we reach Jude, Maggie leans in, trying to get into Jude’s arms and away from me.
“Do you mind holding her? I chuckle. “I think she loves you.”
“Are you kidding? I want to run out the door with her and keep her forever. She and Kayla both! They are beyond cute.”
Maggie wraps her arms around Jude’s neck and squeezes hard, then gives her several pecks on the cheek before squeezing her again. It is as if she knows Jude has been through something rough and needs something a little extra.
Jude’s eyes well up, and she coos against Maggie’s blonde curls and then the two of them lock eyes and share some sort of blonde woman conversation that is at a decibel level I will never be able to hear. Maggie seems to be saying something, and Jude sways the two of them as she nods and queries Maggie about details and specifics. I am absolutely charmed, never having seen Maggie take to anyone like this, or behave in this manner.
I realize I’m not the only one that has noticed. Pops, Sebastian, and now, Lily, who is just walking in from the bathroom, stand with me as we stare together in awe, watching something extraordinary unfold before us. It’s not long before Rem and Jules pause to watch, too.
If I was ever unsure of how I felt about Jude, the doubt dissipates, and in this moment, I suddenly know what I feel is far, far more than protectiveness. But how will I ever be able to convince her that we belong together? She is so afraid, so uncertain.
After another moment or two, Jude sets Maggie down on the floor, and Maggie runs toward her mother, grinning. Jude realizes that she has been watched and smiles and waves her hand shyly. Everyone coughs and looks away or, in some other manner, pretends to be doing something, anything else as they suddenly move about the space again, picking up things, cleaning things, or talking to each other. We are hilariously dorky at trying to pretend we weren’t watching them, and it is painfully obvious.
I can’t help but wonder what Jude talked to Maggie about, and that lingers with me for a while. After pie and coffee and a little more storytelling, the men help put the babies to bed before moving to the kitchen to clean up as the women sit outside on the patio and visit with each other.
Rem is the first one to start asking me questions, which does not surprise me. I had the sense that my brothers couldn’t wait to get me alone all night for this specific moment.
“So, I thought you were never going to settle down, dude.” He is razzing me, trying to irk me. It doesn’t work.
“Hey, you know what it’s like when someone comes along that you don’t expect, and that was never a part of the plan.” I splash him with a wet sponge, giving him hell right back.
Seb butts in. “Well, if you are going to settle down, that’s the girl to do it with. There is nothing about her I don’t like. She fits. You need to lock and load that shit as fast as possible.”
“He can’t fucking lock and load it yet, he hasn’t known her that long.”
“Anybody can do anything, at any time, when it’s right. That one is right. Besides, the girls already like her. You know how hard that’s going to be to duplicate? We will never see that again in our lifetimes. They are too different. But the three of them?” Seb nods. “They’re three peas in a pod.”
Pops jumps into the kitchen. “I better see her at every fucking dinner from now on. That’s all I got to say about it. And I ain’t asking, either. You better not screw this up, Son.”