My mother takes a step toward me, her eyes demanding me to get up and go with them. To not make a scene any more than we already have, to not be the one that brings shame on them yet again. But I shake her off. I’ll never let them control me again. Never listen to her again. Not when she is under his thumb. Not when she is unable to stand up for herself or see how much she is hurting her own child.
Looking away from her, I take in the room. Literally, everybody in the coffee shop is looking at us. God, I just want the floor to swallow me whole.
“Remove your hand.” It is my father’s voice booming in the way that used to fill me with fear. But I know a thing or two about Sebastian now. I know the kind of man he is, the type of family he comes from. A family I hope to be a part of one day.
Looking over at Sebastian, I can see that he isn’t going to let this go. Instantly, the tears I tried to hold back release themselves. I know that Seb will help me feel safe. He’ll protect me from my own parents just as Lex would.
“I’m not letting go until you back away and leave. End of subject.”
Sebastian moves closer as if to shield me, becoming a barrier between my father and me. I wipe my eyes with the back of my sleeve and look up at my mom and dad. My mother is looking at me with pleading eyes, and my father’s gaze promises nothing but pain. Digging deep, I remind myself that neither of them can touch me, that no one can hurt me anymore.
“You heard him, leave. I don’t want to go with you.”
“You heard her, she doesn’t want to go with you,” Seb growls.
It takes everything in me to stand tall and not cower in my father’s presence.
You’re strong. You can do this.
The manager, a middle-aged man, comes over to see what’s going on. He is about to say something, but Seb just holds up his hand, shutting him up before the first word has left his lips.
“They’re trying to assault her, and honestly, it’s bordering on attempted kidnapping. I’m going to call the police if they don’t leave.”
Those words rattle my father because his public appearance is everything to him. He can’t remain the head of his church if he goes to jail and is accused of kidnapping his daughter. No matter how much he wants to make sure I’m given to someone, he won’t lose face or risk his reputation for me.
“Fine, we’ll leave,” my father finally says.
After Seb releases his arm, my father backs away, looking at me while dragging my mother along right behind him.
Sebastian stands over me in protector mode and watches until they leave, first through the room toward the door, then out the door and past the windows where they are no longer looking in my direction. Only once he’s positive that they’re not coming back, does he turn to me.
His brown eyes bleed into mine, concern etched into his features. “Are you okay?”
I nod, my hands trembling. The emotional onslaught of the memories, the bruises on my arm, the mother that never protected me, and the father that always beat me, all comes rushing back. I drop my face into my hands. I feel shame over having everyone in the coffee shop see me and what happened. To have them see what I came from.
Seb moves into action. “Come on. Let’s get you out of here.”
I turn to Blair, who looks ghostly pale. “I’m sorry you had to see all of that. I’m so sorry,” I sob.
“Gosh, Jude, don’t be sorry. We don’t get to choose our parents. Don’t apologize for them. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
Feeling like I need to give her a hug, I lunge for her and wrap my arms around her. “Thank you,” I murmur into her hair.
When I release her and step away, I try to ignore all the people that are still gawking at me like I’m a freak show, but it’s harder than you would think.
Seb guides me out to his car and gives me tissues while he calls Lex. I consider how important it would be to get a cell phone. Perhaps with work, I can save up for one, at least so I can call Lex or even the police. Knowing my parents, they won’t stop until they get what they want, which is me.
“I’ll stay with her until you get here,” I hear him say while I try to forget the last 20 minutes like they never happened. He hangs up the phone, and I lean against the side of his car, sniffling, trying to get myself together.
“Are you okay?”
No. I want to say, but don’t want to burden him with a long-winded explanation. No one has the time it would take for me to unload my baggage on them.
“I’m okay…just shaken up. I’m sorry you had to get involved,” I apologize while looking down at the ground.
“Don’t be sorry. I was watching to see what was happening. I didn’t want to intervene, but then he went to touch you. I knew if that was Lily, and Lex was standing there able to put a stop to it, he would, and fuck, I would expect him to.”
“Well, thank you,” I say, and I am truly grateful. Who knows what would’ve happened if he hadn’t stepped in when he did?
“How many times has this happened?” he asks randomly, and I consider lying to him, but what’s the point.
“Twice. First, my mother showed up out of nowhere when Lex was picking me up from classes, and now both of them showed up today. I don’t think they’ll stop, they really want me to quit school and go home.”
“Yeah.” Seb leans against the side of his car. He’s not too close, but he’s not so far away that he seems unfriendly. “Well, if they show up again, let me know.”
I want to tell him there is no way to stop a man like my father but bite my tongue.
Lex arrives just a couple of minutes later, jumping out of his truck as soon as it’s parked. He walks up to me and takes my face into his hands.
“You okay?” Everything about him, his voice, the look in his eyes, even his body language tells me one thing. He is concerned for me.
He doesn’t care about my eyes being puffy from crying. He doesn’t care about me making a scene in the parking lot, or that I made him come and get me when he is supposed to be working. All he cares about is me and if I’m okay.
“Yes, I’m okay now.” And I am, now that he is here, I already feel a million times better.
They transfer me to Lex’s truck, and away we go, speeding toward his house.
When we get to his place, he guides me to the couch, and I sit, he quickly follows suit, sitting next to me, curling his arms around me. I let it all out, not holding back a thing. All the anger and disappointment. I’m mourning all the years I have lost, mourning a childhood I’ll never get back, and a family I should have had.
“That’s right, I got you. You just let it out. No one here is watching, no one here is going to talk to you about it. It is just your time to feel anything you want. I’ve got you, Jude, and I’ll always have you.”
He kisses my temple, and I lean into his shoulder even deeper, the tears falling faster than I can wipe them away.
I have never felt safer. Never felt so happy to have found Lex, to have found a family who will not only protect me but also, my baby. That, I have no doubt.
It takes me a while to settle, but Lex stays with me the entire time. To his credit, he doesn’t get up and try to distract me or make tea so that he can avoid being present with me, he simply sits with me. He lets me know it is okay. Lets me know, I’m safe and that he wants me, even like this. A complete and utter mess. When I’m finally able to pull myself together, he kisses me on the head again and releases me.