She looks at me like I’m a flickering flame that might burn her if she gets too close. Tilting my head to the side, I stare down at her curiously. Wonderment, fear, and something else blooms in her big blue eyes. I drop my hands down to my sides, afraid that I might be the reason for her fear, but of course, she shocks me by pushing up onto her tiptoes.
Easing a little closer, there isn’t even an inch of space between our bodies, and yet I welcome the warmth of her body against mine. Her chest brushes mine, and when her small hands lift and come to rest on my shoulders, a strange heat creeps through me, making my heart beat a little faster in my chest.
Then like an unexpected gift, she shocks the hell out of me, she leans forward and presses her plump pink lips against mine, and the entire world falls away around me.
JUDE
I’m kissing him. I’m actually doing it. My heart thunders against my ribs, and I feel like I’m about to pass out. My lips move against his, and I wonder if he can tell how inexperienced I am? Am I even doing this right? Is he going to push me away any second? I try and think of how I can do this. I’ve never kissed a man before or even touched one.
Pulling away, I feel a heat forming between my thighs. My father always said that spot was sacred, meant for my future husband and no one else. The mere reminder of him has me pushing the fear of what I’m about to do away.
They’ll disown you if you’re not a virgin.
Chest heaving, I drop my gaze to the button on his jeans and reach for it with trembling hands. You can do this. It can’t be that hard. I’ve merely flicked the button on his jeans open when his hands come out of nowhere, circling my wrists. They’re rough, warm, and strong, so strong. It hits me then that he’s halting my motions. Oh no. This is where he tells me no. Where he pushes me away. Maybe he’s realized I lied about my age. Maybe I’m too young for him? I’m only eighteen.
I have one chance at this, one singular chance, and it’s about to slip away.
“That’s not part of the deal. You don’t have to…” I look up at him, noting the sharp angles of his face, his clenched jaw, how dark his eyes seem to have gotten in a matter of seconds. He looks angry. Did I anger him? Make a mistake in believing that maybe he wants me?
“Don’t you want me?” I whisper, trying my best not to sound as rejected and hurt as I feel. I’m so far out of my element, I might as well be on another planet. Maybe I’ve done something wrong.
“I mean… yeah, of course, I want you. You’re a beautiful woman, but you… I don’t want you to think that you have to do this for a place to sleep or food. I’m not like that.” His green eyes soften, and the honesty in them tells me everything I need to know.
He’s a good person, kind, and the perfect man for this job.
“I know. I want you though.” I force the words past my lips, realizing how true they are. I really do want him. Want him to be my first.
“Are you sure? I promise you don’t have to do this. You can stay here, regardless. I’m asking for nothing in return.”
“I really want you,” I admit shamelessly. My parents would lose it if they could see me right now. If they knew how much I do want this, how sinful my mind is.
I’ve always known I was different from the rest of my family. The black sheep, even at a young age. Always testing boundaries, always rebelling, never following rules, and now I’m breaking one of the holiest customs. I’m giving away my virginity to a man I’m not married to, one I’ve known only a matter of minutes.
“If you’re sure this is what you want?” Lex’s voice grows deeper, reaching a spot inside of me that makes me shiver.
Wanting to show him rather than use words, I shove my skirt down my legs and tug my shirt off over my head. I do my best not to feel embarrassed over my plain cotton panties and bra and instead reach for his jeans, tugging the zipper down. My hands are shaking, and I swallow thickly when he reaches up and brushes the hair at my neck away. Leaning forward, he peppers kisses along my skin, and it’s like my entire body is being lit on fire.
His lips feel so good on my skin, his fingers dig into the flesh at my hips as he tugs me forward, and I feel the hard ridge of his manhood resting against my belly. I’m consumed with a need to get this done, and so I push his jeans down his hips. At the same time, he pushes the straps of my bra down over my shoulders before tugging the cups down, exposing my breasts to the cool air.
My nipples are hardened, sensitive, and I gasp when his wet mouth moves down my shoulder, closing around one of the tight peaks.
Pleasure ignites deep in my core, and I move my hands to his head, holding him in place, wanting him to continue. His tongue laps at my nipple before he switches to the other, eliciting a gasp out of me. My face feels as if it’s on fire, a wetness forming against my panties.
I want more, need more. I need to seal the deal before he changes his mind. Tracing a hand down his body, I’m mesmerized by the dips and hard plains. He’s fit and firm, and strangely, I feel safe with him.
When my fingers graze over his length, he pulls back, his emerald gaze colliding with mine. A groan pushes past his lips, and he pulls away just enough to tug his shirt off and pull his pants down. Then he’s on me. Wrapping his hands around the back of my thighs, he lifts me and hauls me against his chest like I weigh nothing.
I grip onto his shoulder and watch with amazement as he moves us into another room with a nice comfy looking bed.
“You should be fucked in a bed, not on the couch, or against the wall,” he whispers against my ear. A lump forms in my throat at the words, and a sliver of fear settles deep in my gut. This is going to hurt, I know it is. I’ve heard the stories from the other women in our family.
Dropping me onto the mattress, he climbs onto the bed beside me. Drinking me in, I feel his eyes on every inch of my skin. Exposed and vulnerable, I contemplate lifting my arms to cover myself, but know I would be giving him the wrong idea if I did.
Pushing the fear away, I circle my arms around his neck and tug him closer. His hardness brushes against my panties, and I’m eager to get this done. Spreading my legs wide so he can fit between them, I kiss him hard. He gives back to me with the same intensity, and after we kiss for a bit, I move my hands down to his boxers.
Pulling away, he shakes his head. “I’m going to finger you first.”
My brow furrows, I’ve never heard of such a thing, but I don’t want him to stop or rethink, so I nod my head and rest back against the mattress, letting him do as he pleases. Grabbing my panties, he slowly pulls them down my hips. I bite the inside of my cheek until I taste the coppery tang of blood.
Don’t show how nervous you are.
His fingers slowly trail down my body, his hand disappearing between my legs. I’m self-conscious, wondering what he plans to do. Is he going to inspect me, or just touch me? As soon as his fingers rub against the small bundle of nerves hidden between my lips, I whimper. He grins down at me, and I decide that smile is something I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
“You’re soaked, so wet for me. Fuck. I want to taste you. Lick you, finger you, and then fuck you with my cock.”
“Yes,” I gasp as he moves his fingers faster and faster. I’m so caught up in the pleasure he’s giving me that I don’t notice what he’s doing next until he’s easing a finger inside me. There’s a sting of pain and uncomfortableness that follows, but after that, I feel nothing but pleasure.