Nathan looks a little surprised, but it lasts maybe a split second. “All righty, then.”
I follow him to the vending machine out in the hallway in front of the cafeteria. I guess the line is way too long to wait in just to buy a bottle of water.
“So …” I say, staring at the huge logo.
“So …” Nathan eyes the big blue vending machine.
“So.” I tuck my hands into my pockets and shuffle my feet around. “I wanted to ask you a favor. A big favor.”
“Okay.” The corners of his mouth perk up a little. “No chance I could ask you to do this in riddle form?”
“Yeah, no.” I sigh. “It’s a bit of a weird request.”
“It’s not that hard to make questions riddles,” Nathan says.
“Not what I meant.” I shake my head. “I just need your help.”
“Hide a body, no, wait. You need to get revenge on someone? I’ve got the perfect way to ruin someone’s gas tank.”
“No, it’s not that. Just let me talk, please.” Though the gas tank trick might come in handy later. “My mom sent me a message online, she and my dad really want to talk to me.”
Nathan’s smile vanishes in an instant. “About how they kicked you out?” He pulls a dollar out of his wallet and feeds it into the vending machine.
“That might come up, yeah.” I get in closer. “And I’d just feel better about having someone there.”
“And your sister isn’t an option?”
I shake my head. “I don’t need you to sit in on it or anything, but just like, knowing you’re there might help me.”
“Do I have that effect?” Nathan’s still not smiling, and I’m getting sort of worried.
I really need there to be a cap on how many times cheeks can blush per day. “Kind of. It’d really help to have a friend there.”
“And you really think this is a good idea?” he asks.
“No,” I say. “But I feel like I have to hear them out, listen to what they have to say.”
“Ben—”
“Just … please, just this one thing. Please?”
Nathan lets out a long sigh. “When are you meeting?”
“Friday night.” I pull out my phone and stare at the message I sent. Eventually I’d found the right words, which is to say that after all my worrying, I simply told them a time and place we could meet. I’d thought for days about adding something else, about asking for some kind of an explanation, or maybe going off on Mom.
But none of that seemed right. I wanted to hear them first, face-to-face.
“Robin’s.” I tell him. “That Italian place downtown.”
“Oh, I’ve been there.” Nathan takes his bottle of water out of the little dispenser at the bottom. “Don’t get the eggplant Parmesan. It’s terrible.”
“Noted,” I say. “Thank you.”
“No problem.”
“They’ll be there around seven, is that okay?”
Nathan smiles. “It’s a date!”
Yeah, I’m fucked.
I should most definitely not have agreed to do this, but it’s too late now. Short of just grabbing Nathan and running back out into the parking lot.
But Mom and Dad know where Hannah lives, probably.
I catch Nathan’s eye from across the restaurant. He looks pretty comfortable for a guy who’s basically here alone. He catches me looking and pulls out his phone, then my phone buzzes.
Nathan: I still think I should’ve worn the hat and sunglasses.
I roll my eyes.
Me: They don’t know what you look like.
Nathan: Still!
Me: This isn’t a sting operation or anything.
“Well, hello.”
I jump in my seat and nearly let my phone clatter to the floor before I grab it at the last second. It’s my parents, standing there, smiles on their faces as they look down at me.
“Hi,” I say, unsure if I should stand up or not.
I stay seated, and the two of them follow after a few beats of awkward silence. My phone vibrates again, but I ignore it. Probably just Nathan.
“You’ve let your hair get too long” is the first thing Dad says.
“I like it this way,” I say, touching the ends. It’s not quite to my shoulders yet, but Sophie says I’m like a walking stalk of broccoli.
Meleika said cauliflower, because of how pale I am.
“It gets all matted and tangled though.” Mom reaches across the table, but I lean back, avoiding her perfectly manicured nails.
“Let’s get to the point,” I say. “You two wanted to talk, right? Isn’t that why we’re here?”
“Well, not if you’re going to have an attitude,” Dad mutters in that kind of way so he knows I’ll hear it.
“I don’t have an attitude.” I cross my arms. “What did you two want to discuss?”
“How are you doing?” Mom asks.
“Fine.”
“How is your sister?”
“She’s fine.” Not that either of them actually care. “She and Thomas have been really good to me.”
I see a bit of pain flash over both of their faces, that little bit of guilt, as if they forgot they’d kicked me out. I hate that I feel a little proud of the moment, that it’s my turn to hurt them.
“And school?” Dad asks. “You’re keeping your grades up, right? Your exams must be coming up soon.”
“Yeah, but I’m passing all my classes.” I sink back into my chair, guilt creeping up my spine.
“That’s great!” Mom smiles a bit too widely, then she reaches into her purse. “You know we got a few replies back, from schools.” She slides the thick bundle of envelopes over to me. Some of them are open, some aren’t. “You got into State, but UNC said no.”
“Huh.” I flip through them, staring at the names of the schools and the envelopes decorated with their colors. “That’s fine. I’m not going to college anyway.”
“What do you mean?” Dad asks. “Of course you’re going to school.”
“I don’t want to.” I slide the letters back to Mom.
“Is it because of Hannah? We can afford to send you to school, you don’t have to rely on your sister anymore,” Dad says, almost like he’s proud of himself.
“Actually, Hannah and I have already had that talk, and she told me it wouldn’t be any trouble. I just don’t want to go.”
“Ben—” Mom starts to say, but Dad puts a hand on her arm and that stops her.
“We’ll discuss that later,” he says.
“What did you want to talk about?” I ask again. “Stop avoiding the question.”
“Well.” Mom presses her hands together. “We wanted to talk with you more about this whole ‘being nonbinary’ thing.”
It’s awfully strange hearing my mother actually say the word “nonbinary” aloud. It doesn’t really belong, like it’s the kind of word you’d never expect someone like her to know. “Okay.” I lean forward a little. Maybe this won’t be as bad as I thought.