Jasper stared at me a moment, strange expression on his face, then handed me my phone. “Let’s head back then.”
I walked a pace behind him as we headed for the exit. I figured out why my dad was looking at me funny when I checked my phone, my mouth going dry as I read Orion’s text.
‘Are you home now? Coming by with Kora, she has a couple hours free, can clean your house. Any plans tonight? Dying to taste your cookies again.’
Orion had added emojis. One with the tongue sticking out. One kissy face. And three hearts. Fuck. Jasper had seen it. He’d seen it, and now he was acting weird.
But at least he remained quiet. I wasn’t ready for whatever conversation this might bring. I hadn’t contemplated ever having to be ready for it, because I hadn’t allowed myself to think much about things progressing with Orion. I was obsessed with him, but he could tire of me tomorrow for all I knew. I wasn’t going to have the mother of all awkwards with Jasper over something that might not even be a thing.
As we approached my truck, I quickly texted Orion back, telling him I was on my way. “You need a boost?” I asked when I saw my father struggling to climb into the passenger side.
“I’m fine.” He got himself seated then waved me off. “Shouldn’t have knelt down on the ground, my knee is aching.”
I got in and started the engine, turning on the wipers, as it was starting to drizzle out. “You have ice at home for the knee?”
“Yeah, got a pack in the freezer. Guess it’s worth a little pain. You’re supposed to kneel when begging forgiveness, after all.”
I was about to drive off when I paused, looking over at my father, who stared out the windshield placidly. “Was that the first time you’d done so? Asked Mom for forgiveness?”
“Directly, yes. I had wanted to wait until I knew she was listening, but that didn’t work out. Orion’s foster brother, he’s a medium. But Donna…your mother didn’t come through for me. Guess I can’t blame her.”
I placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure she heard you today.”
“I hope so.”
We drove back to Jasper’s in silence. I pulled into his driveway, and said, “I’m gonna just drop you off. Gotta head back to the house for my ghost cleansing. Can you believe this shit? I just said that. Fucking ghost cleansing.”
Jasper nodded. “Believe a lot of things I didn’t used to.”
I waited for him to get out of the truck, but he just sat there, staring straight ahead. “You all right, Dad?”
He ran fingers through his cottony white hair, then rubbed his chin. “Squirt…are you having a dalliance with Orion?”
I felt the blood rush to my face. My father looked over at me, eyebrows raised. “A dalliance?” I said. “What are we in a D.H. Lawrence novel?”
“That’s not a denial. So I’m right. I saw that text he sent you and I was so confused. I’m still confused.”
“It’s no big deal. He’s just…flirtatious with me.”
Jasper just studied me, like I had finally become an object of his interest.
My face burned with the heat of a thousand suns.
“You’re blushing.” He pointed at me. “My God, you have a crush on him, don’t you?”
I was wholly unprepared for this. But as uncomfortable as it was, I reminded myself of my promise to live my principles. I saw nothing wrong about my dalliance with Orion. So even though my heart was pounding and my palms were sweating, I told my father the truth. “Yes. A big one. Is that a problem for you?”
Jasper huffed, then snorted. “No, I just don’t want it to become a problem for you.”
“You gonna warn me again about how manipulative he is?”
“You’re a grown man, I know you can take care of yourself. And I hope it hasn’t seemed like I’ve been talking bad about Orion. He’s important to me. I thought I was important to him.”
“Thought? You don’t see how massively important you are to him?”
Jasper shrugged, scratching his chin. “I’ve seen him take a lot of men for a ride, that’s all. It often amused me, the sheer skill of it. But I’d hoped he’d never even think of messing with my son.”
“Messing with me. That’s your first thought, that he must be playing some game. Not possible that he actually likes me.”
“Oh, don’t get your panties in a twist. I’m sure he likes you. You’re not ugly like me, thanks to your mother’s influence. And sometimes you’re even pleasant to be around.”
“Would you be serious?”
“All right. I admit, my first instinct was worry. But only because I’ve seen how he charms people unsuspectingly. That’s about him, though, not you. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, or implied he couldn’t possibly like you.”
“It’s fine, Dad, my ego will survive you thinking that.”
“I do not think that, stop being ornery. In fact…” He stared off.
“What? Dad, what?”
“One day he caught a glimpse of you out back here, shortly before you met him at the park. He asked me a dozen questions about you afterward. Talked about things he’d heard. Your charity work for the town. He also asked if I had any recent photos of you that he could look at. I didn’t.”
I huffed.
“But I assumed his curiosity was prompted by his long-held insecurity that I didn’t want him near my family. He thought I was ashamed of him. Not true of course, I always kept him apart for my own guilty reasons. But now I wonder about that day. Maybe he just liked what he saw through the window.”
“Okay,” I said. “So maybe he likes me, but you also think he could be taking me for a ride.”
“I don’t know, Kurt. I can only say I’ve rarely seen him engaged in romantic endeavors that didn’t involve some endgame.”
I sighed, banging my head softly on the steering wheel. “Well, thanks. I wasn’t confused enough about getting involved with a man for the first time. This is very helpful.”
“Please don’t get sarcastic, I’m only speaking out of concern.”
“I’m sorry, Dad, I’m just confused. All I’ve been hearing from you since I met Orion is what a great guy he is and how you want us to get along.”
“He is a great guy.”
“Would a great guy mess with your son’s head just for kicks? After all you’ve done for him?”
Jasper looked down. “No. I would think not.”
“Then why this suspicion?”
“Because I know him, Kurt. I gave him his name, for crying out loud, we have a special connection. But that connection means I know him better than anyone. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I just worry that maybe Orion is a risky choice for you after your divorce.”
My head was spinning. My instincts told me to reject Jasper’s suspicions as baseless, mainly because I didn’t want to think Orion’s interest in me was anything but genuine. That thought hurt. So, I locked onto something else my father just said. “His name. Orion Starr? You gave him that?”
He nodded.
“Not very subtle, is it?”
“I know, I know. But when he was a boy, he was always so terrified when the…reason he was in hiding came up. We needed his name changed when I moved him out here. It was for his safety, but I masked that detail by suggesting he choose a stage name, since he’d be performing as a clown and a dancer. Eased him into the idea. I was surprised he liked my suggestion, but he did, and it’s been his name ever since.”