“You don’t give him orgasms.”
Tea sprayed from my father’s lips as he coughed.
“Sorry.”
Wiping his mouth, he gave me a look. “Can tell who you’ve been hanging around with. Trying to shock the old man.”
“I’m not.” I chuckled. “It just slipped out.”
“Well, look at that smile. Aren’t you the smug and confident one today. I take it you two patched things up?”
I nodded, trying to suppress a grin. “Yeah. But I have to talk to you about something else. When I was with Chapel, Mom came through.” My father went still. “She had a message for you.”
His hand shook as he set the teacup down. “She came through?”
I squeezed his shoulder. “I don’t know what this means, but she said tell Jasper to put his socks on.”
My father looked away from me, staring straight ahead.
“That mean something?”
He stood up, walked away, and slowly made his way up the stairs. I heard his bedroom door close.
“Shit.” I got up and paced the room. Standing at the bottom of the stairs, I listened. A muffled sound made me wince. My father was sobbing in his bedroom.
“Shit!”
I did what he wanted. I got the ring back. And I gave him a message from my mother. But hearing my father cry was awful. It crushed me inside. I hoped he wasn’t crying because it was a bad message. But it was done. I couldn’t take it back now.
I paced some more, then went outside. “Hey,” I said, giving Orion a playful kick in the butt.
He stood, wiping dirt off his hands. “You still coming with me to the shop today?”
“Yeah. Of course. Looking forward to it.”
He flung himself at me, arms around my neck. “Still need me?”
I smoothed my hands down his back and grabbed his ass. “More than ever.”
“Good.”
“You need me?”
“I do,” he said. “So don’t go nowhere.”
We kissed tenderly for a moment, then I pulled him into a hug. “I have to go inside and talk to my father for a few minutes. Can I ask you to stay outside until I come get you?”
He pulled back. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes it’s just…something about my mother.”
Orion nodded. “Sure, of course. Come get me when you’re ready.”
“Thanks.”
I went back inside, climbed the stairs and knocked on my father’s bedroom door, surprised when he said, “Come on in, Squirt.”
I walked in, and he was sitting on the edge of his bed, a photo album open on his lap. I sat beside him. “What are you looking at?”
“Your mother loved to go barefoot, remember?”
“Sure.” I laughed. “I like that picture.”
He was looking at a photo of my mother standing on the seawall. It was probably taken in the autumn months, as she was wearing long pants and a thick, heavy sweater. But no shoes. She was smiling, holding her middle finger up at the camera.
My father chuckled, running a finger over the photo. “She said shoes made her feet feel claustrophobic. But in the winter, she’d drive me crazy, seeing her walking around the house in bare feet. I worried she’d catch cold, so I’d say, put your socks on, Donna! She’d say no, and we’d go back and forth. Until finally I’d just go get her a pair of socks, make her sit down, and I’d put them on her feet myself.”
I smiled. “She let you?”
“Yes, see that’s the thing. After all her protests, she always let me do it, and kept them on. So one night I asked her why. Why did she always fight me on it, when she’d keep the socks on once I put them on her feet? She said that every time I bullied her to put socks on, she knew it meant I still loved her.”
A lump rose in my throat. “So she still loves you. Because she told you to put your socks on.”
“I guess so. Not that I deserve it.”
“Oh, don’t start that. You got what you wanted. Don’t go picking it apart.”
“No, I’m happy, ecstatic, really. It’s just…I’ve hurt people. Hurt Orion’s foster mother…repeatedly, if I’m honest. Hurt you once you found out about it.”
“Don’t worry about me, okay? I’m fine.”
He nodded, but still looked forlorn.
“You want to come with us down to the seaside today? Check out Orion’s shop? I’m sure he’d love it if you’d go.”
I wanted time alone with Orion, but didn’t feel like I could leave my father like this. Hearing him sobbing had cut through me, and I didn’t think he should be alone right now. I expected him to protest, but after a long pause, he closed the photo album and stood. “I’m driving.”
Orion seemed thrilled when we called him inside and told him that Jasper was coming with us. “Cool, Jaz. I want you to see the shop.”
“Let’s go then.” My father picked up his keys. “I’ll drive.”
“I get to pick the music in the car, then,” Orion said.
Jasper pointed at him. “Oh no you don’t!”
“Come on,” Orion whined, then looked at me. “He’s still got a cassette player and all these ancient cassettes.”
“I know.”
“I’m driving, I’m the boss,” Jasper said.
“No cassettes,” Orion said. “Just the radio.”
My father shook his head. “We’re not listening to that hippity hop music you like. Gives me a headache.”
I laughed as we headed out the door. “Have you guys eaten? I’m starving.”
“I’m hungry too,” Jasper said. “We can grab lunch along the way.”
“No Beach Boys,” Orion said. “Or Neil Diamond.”
Jasper huffed. “Yes, Beach Boys! Very much so.”
“No Beach Boys! I get the front seat.” Orion ran to my father’s car and jumped in the passenger side.
Jasper looked at me. “You sure you can handle him? He has a lot of…energy.”
“Gonna do my best,” I said. “Or die trying.”
“Let’s go. Before that little shit changes all my radio stations.”
When we got in the car, Orion had a Hip Hop station on. Jasper pretended not to notice until we were driving down the road, when he promptly popped one of his cassettes in and began singing loudly, “So hoist up the John B’s sail!”
“No!” Orion covered his ears. “Kurt, make him stop.”
“Dad, stop.”
“Call for the captain ashore, let me go hooome…”
“Let’s compromise,” I said. “You can keep The Beach Boys on, but don’t sing.”
“It’s my car and I’ll sing if I want to.”
And he did. All the way to the diner.
****
The mission to check out what would be Orion’s shop went well. The current owner was accommodating as we poked around the place, measuring things and making plans. Orion’s excitement was palpable and contagious, but after a while my father went outside to get some air, and when I followed, I found him on the sidewalk, leaning against the wall with a troubled look on his face.