They’d met him in August, when to my pleasant surprise, they both came down for a couple of nights to celebrate their birthday with me. Jasper and I took the twins out to dinner and lavished gifts upon them. The kids were in good spirits and bubbly, and when Jasper gave Mia the ring, explaining that my mother had wanted her to have it, she burst into tears and hugged him, saying she would cherish it forever. But later in the conversation, Matthew, somewhat tentatively, brought up the fact that their mother had a boyfriend now. I recall Mia shrinking in her seat and eyeing me cautiously, like they both thought I was gonna freak out and tip the table over or something. When I responded, “That’s great. I want your mother to be happy,” they looked stunned.
“He’s a nice guy,” Matthew had assured me, followed by Mia’s “He’s not as good looking as you, Dad.” I told them that it was fine, that Violet and I were on good terms and would continue to co-parent, but that it was perfectly all right for us to have our own personal lives.
At that point, Jasper began kicking me under the table, and it took me a minute to understand what the hell he was doing. When it hit me, I had a moment of panic. My father was letting me know that this was the perfect opportunity to tell the kids about Orion.
So, I did. With sweating palms and pounding heart, I told my children that I was dating a man. It wasn’t how I’d imagined doing it, but in the moment, I was grateful as hell that my father was there. Jasper served as a calm, positive influence on the sidelines, explaining to the children that he’d known Orion from his work years back, and what a solid individual he was. Matthew and Mia were undeniably shocked to their core, I could see that just by their faces. But I believe that their grandfather’s casual acceptance and glowing endorsement made it easier for all of us. Ultimately, after a lot of “Are you kidding me?” and “Holy shit, Dad” and so on, my children said they were happy for me, and wanted to meet Orion. So, the following night, I invited him to the house.
We ordered pizza and played board games, and in no time, Orion had them laughing and bonding with him. He did a private psychic reading on each of them, full ceremony with the sash and the seashells, and they both thoroughly enjoyed it and were blown away at his intuitiveness. After Orion left, I got an “It’s so weird hearing you use your flirty voice on a guy” from Matthew and a “He’s hot, Dad” from Mia, but it was good-natured teasing. They left the house happy the following morning, offering me plenty of hugs and telling me they loved me.
But then came this weekend—and Violet. The kids were fine, and Violet and I were fine in front of them. It wasn’t until we’d gotten them settled in their dorm rooms and I asked if she wanted to have a drink at the hotel bar, that I felt the temperature of her mood drop to subzero. She and I had been co-parenting just fine and periodically chatting on the phone since our divorce, so I thought we were cool.
But right there in the hotel lobby, she flipped out on me, saying I should have spoken to her before ‘springing that shit’ on the kids, meaning Orion. I pointed out that she had certainly not informed me when she started dating a man and introducing him to our children. She said, ‘It’s not the same’ and referred to my dating Orion as ‘a stunt’ and ‘a joke’ and that was all I needed to hear.
Needless to say, we never had that drink together.
I held onto the anger half of the way home today, but now I was just tired and disappointed. But in a small way, I was relieved. There had been a very tiny part of me, I realized, that had been holding back with Orion, a residual shame that I’d been the one to fuck things up with my marriage. But at the end of the day, it was Violet who’d left me. And her being an asshole to me about Orion severed something that had been tying me to the past, a thread of self-loathing I’d been clinging to after being told what a bad husband I was during the divorce.
I felt free of that now, like a fresh new person. Whether it was ten years or ten minutes, the past was the past. I aimed to cut it loose and let it go. It was time to move forward.
I was in the kitchen opening a bottle of wine when I heard Orion’s car pull up. I went and opened the front door, smiling as I watched him pull takeout bags and the duffle he used for overnights from the backseat. The night was cool, so I got to see him in his brown leather jacket for only the second time, and the sight made my mouth water. I was a damn lucky guy, and my ex-wife could go fuck herself.
His big dark eyes studied me warily as he approached the front door, arms full of bags. “Hi.”
“Hi there. Here, let me help you.”
We brought the stuff into the kitchen and set it down, then he grabbed me, wrapping me in a tight hug. He smelled of leather and cologne and that sweet powdery scent I associated with him. “Was it awful?” he asked.
“Terrible.”
He held my face and kissed me. “You all right, tough guy?”
“Yeah. I will be.”
Orion frowned. “Why are you angry?”
“What? I’m not.”
His frown deepened. “You were, then. I can sense it. I expected to find you sad. But something made you really angry. What is it?”
Like I said, dating a psychic could be annoying at times. We sat at the kitchen table and I told him what happened with Violet. “But I’m over it now,” I said. “She can fuck off.”
Orion stared at me, twirling a lock of his hair around one finger.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
I chuckled. “Don’t tell me nothing. I may not be psychic, but I know your cues and mannerisms. Something’s bothering you, so just tell me. It’s all right, I won’t be offended.”
He sighed. “That just doesn’t sound like the woman you’ve described to me all this time.”
“It’s not,” I said. “I was thrown sideways by it, to be honest. She really shocked me.”
“Do you have anything she touched?”
“What, this weekend?”
He nodded.
“Um…hang on.” I went to find my bag, still resting by the front door, and dug through it. Violet had given me a framed photograph of the kids taken over the summer, sitting on their front porch with the family dog. I returned to the kitchen and handed it to Orion. “She gave me this.”
Orion stared at the photo, rubbing his thumbs along the frame for a full minute before setting it down. “Okay, look, as your significant other, I’d selfishly love to jump in and hate on your ex-wife.”
I smiled. “But?”
“But…I think Violet’s right. You should have talked to her about me.”
“Why? She doesn’t have rights to my personal decisions. We’re divorced!”
Orion reached over and took my hand in his. “I know. But you used to be married. For a long time. You told me you didn’t fully realize you were bisexual until we met.”
“Yes. So?”
“I sense that Violet is hurt. She’s wondering if the bisexuality was something you hid from her during your marriage. Remember how you felt when you found out about my sex work? That I was hiding something so huge from you?”
I shrugged, nodding. “Right. Didn’t feel good. But I wasn’t hiding this from Violet. I didn’t even have that revelation until a year after we were divorced.”