“Thanks, Dad.” Reaching across, I plant a kiss on his cheek. He turns to me with a sad smile on his lips. I don’t understand why but he clearly had something on his mind. “Something you want to say, Dad?”
“No, not really. It’s just,” He pauses for a moment, as if being careful of his next words, “well, Daisy, we worry about you.”
“Is this concern because Oliver is back?”
“In a way, but we’re your parents, of course, we’re going to worry about you. We saw how you were after he left and we don’t want you to go through that again.”
I laugh, it’s bitter and humourless, “It’s okay, you don’t need to worry. I’m a big girl and I have very little to no interest in Oliver being here. Besides, he’ll be gone soon enough.”
“Has he told you why he’s back?”
“No, and I have no desire to ask. We’re not exactly friends so catching up is not on the list of must dos.”
“I’m not telling you this because it’s gossip and you know how I can’t stand the way this town operates its rumour mill, but I ran into Luke yesterday and Ollie come up in the conversation. Luke told me he was home after his partner had been killed on a job.”
Gasping, Dread filled my stomach, as Dad’s words ricochet around inside my head. Had his partner really been killed?
“Was he there? Did he see it happen? Was he hurt?”
“Dase, I don’t know the details, all I know is that his boss had given him leave after it happened and he’s come home.”
“Okay.” The single word is a whisper. I don’t know what to do with the information, I wanted to hate him for breaking my heart when he left but now I wanted to hug him and smooth his hair. I wanted to comfort him. I felt selfish for still being angry with him when he had his own, bigger issues going on that he was trying to deal with.
* * *
A light drizzle had greeted me when I stepped out of my front door, heading for work the next morning. Oliver’s car was again parked at the curb. For a moment I consider approaching him, the knowledge Dad had shared with me last night sparked a new found sympathy for him but the Oliver I knew had never been very receptive to sympathy; pity had made him feel weak and angry.
I pulled my jacket closer and descended the few steps leading to my front door, I squared my shoulders and passed him as if I hadn’t even noticed he’d been sitting there. He rolled his car alongside me, keeping pace with my steps. Only when the rain began to become heavy did he stop the car. I was a couple of paces ahead when I heard him call my name.
“Daisy, get in the car.” I continue to ignore him, it isn’t until I hear his footsteps on the pavement behind me do I stop. “Daisy blossom, please.”
“I asked you to stop calling me that.”
“I knew you couldn’t ignore me if I did.” He laughed at his own cleverness. Smug bastard. “It’s raining, can you please let me give you a lift to work? You don’t have to talk to me or even look at me, you can even army roll out of the car as we get closer if you want so no one sees us together. I’ll slow the car for you.”
“Fine.” I followed him back to the car and climbed in to the passenger’s side, after Oliver gets in behind the wheel I am hyper aware of how little that space is that is left between us on the bench seat. I wedged my handbag in the narrow space, putting a physical barrier between us to match the emotional one. The ride was a quick one although it felt like we were wrapped in a cloud of bated breaths. The rain was pounding the windscreen and silently I was grateful to Oliver for being outside my house this morning.
“Thank you, Oliver.”
“It was my pleasure, Daisy blossom.”
“Oliver.”
“Hmm?”
“I’ve asked you to stop calling me that. It was barely okay when we were together and the only reason I put up with it then was because we were having sex.” It wasn’t the only reason I put up with it, it was also because Oliver was the only one to call me that name and hearing it cross his lips felt magical to me. The corner of his mouth quirks up into a lop-sided smile, that smile was as familiar to me as my own, the way his lips curved slightly at the side and the slight crinkle at the corner of his eyes with their mischievous sparkle.
“Well, if sex is what we have to do for you to be okay with me calling you that, then I’m happy to oblige.” I offer him one last steely glare before pushing the door the rest of the way open.
Without a backward glance, I trudge up the paved path to unlock the front door of the shop. I watch as Oliver’s car pulls away from the curb before dismantling the chair castle on each table, setting up had always been my favourite part of the day, there was so much promise of what the day was going to hold in those few minutes before the signed turned from closed to open. Today the usual wonderment of the day was tainted by thoughts of Oliver.
9
oLIVER
* * *
I loved to see the way Daisy’s cheeks flushed when she tried to be angry with me, I had always been turned on by the way she tried to scold me, her mouth in a pout was sexy as hell but it was nothing compared to the way she smiled, how it lit her whole face and radiated. I miss those lips the most, the softness, the taste and the way they had a way of making me feel like I was it for Daisy, all she needed and wanted.
I didn’t deserve those lips back then and I don’t deserve them now but those thoughts won’t stop me from wanting to see if they were just as sensually perfect as I remembered them to be.
My gaze drifts to the rear view mirror, Sweet Nothing’s fills my view, that shop filled my mirror like its owner filled my desperate need for her forgiveness and understanding.
Fleetingly, I gave myself permission to hope that they will both one day come, sooner rather than later would be beyond wishful thinking and bordering on delusional if this morning was anything to go by, but I won’t be giving up on her as easily as she thinks it will be to hold me at arms-length.
Punching each of the presets on the vintage stereo, I scan hoping to find something to distract my thoughts from both of the women taking up space in my head, Daisy and Ginny.
I had a long way to travel, kilometres of rain-streaked tar in front of me today and I didn’t need my mind wandering back to the darkness of the abandoned hospital or how bright the blood was seeping and cloaking us in the truth that was death. I no longer needed to be asleep to see the fear in Ginny’s eyes from that day, they now haunted me in the daylight hours as well.
Finally, I settle on a song that is vaguely familiar, turning up the volume I let the song consume me, the lyrics push out any other thoughts festering inside my head. I wasn’t in denial I needed to see this shrink for the sake of my job as a requirement; the same reason for letting the investigation run its course, but I was going to take the next few hours of travelling to focus on something else. I needed something else, anything else other than Ginny and Daisy to focus on.
It doesn’t take long before I’m being thanked for visiting Fosford by the colourful metal sign on the outskirts of town. Passing the speed limit marker I gun the engine, pushing my car on into the reality that is waiting for me in the City, a reality of Ginny’s death, my own accountability and the scope of bailing on her funeral.