“I’ve tried, Bailey, believe me when I say this to you. I’ve tried to forget… forget how soft your skin is, what your lips taste like. I’ve tried to forget that you smell like ripened strawberries and the way you moan and sigh my name when you fall apart.”
His hands ball into tight fists and press against his knees. His body vibrates with a number of emotions, but I can’t pinpoint which one is pushing him over the edge.
“And I can’t fucking have sex with anyone else because all I can think about is having sex with you. It’s you, Bailey. When I close my eyes, it’s you, when I think about fucking someone else, it’s you. You’ve broken me, and I need you to fix me. Fix me, please. I’m begging you, just put me out of my misery.”
My lips part and my skin heats beneath his hands when he grabs onto me, pulling me closer. I want to say something, and I should, but my brain is beyond overwhelmed with all the confessions he’s just tossed on me.
Fuck, it’s not only my mind but my whole body that’s overwhelmed. What is he saying? What does this all mean? He’s broken…? What am I supposed to do? How do I fix him? All of these questions I should be asking him, but I can’t... I just can’t make the words come out.
“Fucking Christ, Bailey. Say something.” The impatience in Elijah’s tone makes me flinch and I flick my gaze up to his face.
“I…” Licking my lips, I speak whatever words appear in my mind. “What do I do? How do I fix this?”
“I don’t know.” Gripping my hands tightly in his, he continues, “I really don’t know, but I do know I have to have you. I can’t stand the distance that’s formed between us. I love you. I always have, and always will, nothing will ever change that. Nothing we do will ever make that go away, no other woman will ever take your place. I mean it, Bailey.”
Dizzily I look down at our joined hands. He loves me? He doesn’t mean actual love, does he? I shake my head as if I’m answering my own question.
“Is this… are you asking me to have sex with you?” He doesn’t answer, but his eyes do. The confliction of the situation flickering in them. I can feel the weight of all of this resting on my shoulders. My heart races inside my chest. My already throbbing pussy clenches and I know if he says yes, if he wants sex right now, I won’t be able to deny him.
I want him… badly, and have since I gave myself to him that first night.
I’ve tossed around his proposal from last week inside my head thinking about all the pros and cons of a friends with benefits relationship and all I can think about is how much I still want him. Maybe we need to screw the need and want out of each other? Right now, we’re both clearly miserable, so maybe this is what we need. Without putting much thought into what will happen, I look up at him, my eyes piercing his.
“Kiss me,” I order on a whisper and without even a single sliver of hesitation, he leans into me, his hands releasing mine, and moving up to cradle my cheeks.
His thumbs brush over my hot skin. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want to hurt you. If you don’t want this, tell me now…”
“We’re both miserable without each other, and I want you as much as you want me,” I whisper as if I’m telling a secret.
He smiles at me wryly, and then crashes his lips into mine, causing me to gasp at the impact. Kissing him is like breathing for the first time after holding your breath underwater for an immense amount of time. It’s earth-shattering and refreshing, it tears apart my soul and leaves an imprint on my heart.
Snaking my arms around his neck, I pull him closer, not wanting a single inch of space between our bodies. I want us to mold together, to become one single entity. We kiss for a while and my entire body starts to burn up. It feels like I’m on fire. My need for him pulsing like it has its own heartbeat.
Like a woman possessed, my hands grab at his clothes, gripping handfuls of fabric, trying to tear it off his body. He’s doing the same, the only difference being that he actually manages to rip my clothing, tearing the thin nightgown clean off my body.
My nipples are like hardened jewels on my chest, and lightning bolts of pleasure zing down my spine, straight into my core, with the friction of his body against mine. It shouldn’t feel this good to have his hands on me. I shouldn’t want my best friend like this… but I can’t stop myself. Pushing him back against the couch, I swing my legs over his lap and straddle him.
“I wanted to do this right,” Elijah pants into my ear, one of his hands brushing the hair from my neck so that he can suck on the tender flesh.
“What you did last time felt pretty right to me.” I grin, pressing my panty covered pussy against his hardened cock that’s still hidden inside his jeans. With a desperate need, I grind myself onto his erection. Hands grip onto my ass a second later and as I pepper kisses against his throat and jaw, he lifts me up. Wrapping my legs around his middle, he carries me into the bedroom, his lips pressing against every exposed inch of flesh he can reach.
“Elijah,” I moan, and it echoes through the apartment and back into my ears.
“I’ll go slower this time,” he tells me as he lays me down on the bed. My chest is heaving, my heartbeat thundering in my ears when he dips his fingers into the waistband of my panties and slowly drags them down my legs. The excruciatingly slow speed driving me to the edge of insanity. I want to feel him all over me, his body on top of mine, pressing me into the mattress, his cock inside me, owning me, sinking into me over and over again.
“I don’t want slow. I want you. Now,” I hiss, and watch as a visible shudder runs through his body at my confession. His eyes darken to a shade that I’ve never seen before, a beautiful midnight blue.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for.” Of course, he would say that, but that’s the thing, he hasn’t any idea how badly I want him, how much I’ve craved him.
Grabbing both his wrists, I bring his hands to my breasts. He kneads them, and I arch off the bed at his sinister touch. It’s like gasoline on an already out-of-control fire. He sparks me, makes me burn brighter than I ever have before. He squeezes them, and I place my hands over his wanting him to squeeze them harder, needing to feel his touch deep within my bones.
“Please, I know what I want. I want you… inside of me, just like last time. Except this time, don’t hold back. Give us both what we need, what we want.”
With his hands still on my breasts, I start to tug on his shirt again. This time he takes it off, revealing his muscled torso. My mouth waters and I feel a gush of moisture between my legs at the sight before me. Tight abs, each one begging for my lips to press against.
“I’m going to fuck you, Sunflower. Fuck you hard enough that you’ll feel me the way I feel you, in here.” He points to my heart and then flicks the button on his jeans, kicking them and his boxers off and onto the floor.
There’s no need for him to prepare me further, I’m already drenched with need, my arousal coating my thighs now. He gives me a smug grin as he takes his length into his hand and pumps it. The need to taste him at least once, consumes me and I find myself sitting up and reaching out for his length without even thinking.
“You don’t have to,” he hisses as I touch the velvety smooth head pressing against the slit of his cock with my thumb.