“Okay, and lastly... no strings.”
“No strings?” She cocks a thick brown brow. “I’m not into BDSM, Elijah. Like what we did last night was great, but you aren’t going to tie me up or anything. That Fifty Shades of Grey might be your kink, but it’s definitely not mine.”
Laughter bursts from behind my lips and my entire body shakes with it, which in turn causes her to grind into my still hard cock. Fuck, her response is so innocent and so fucking hilarious. When I finally stop laughing and get the courage to look up at her again, I correct her.
“Not BDSM, Sunflower. I meant no strings. When we end this, we walk away without any regret, fear, or anger, no emotion whatsoever.”
Two round splotches of pink form on her cheeks. “Oh, well in that case, yes. No strings. When this is over, we go back to being friends. We pretend like nothing ever happened.”
Her voice is strong, but her face gives her away. I can tell it’s hard for her to say, and I understand because it’s hard for me to agree to as well, but this is how it has to be if we want each other. I’ll give her whatever parts of myself I can…. So long as we don’t cross that line, the one that pulls us from friends with benefits into lovers.
“Then we have a deal.” I wink, and place both hands on her cheeks, pulling her into my face for a kiss. When my lips press against hers, the entire world fades away. I pretend for a moment that I’m not insecure, not afraid of falling in love. I pretend like she is mine, and I am hers, and we have the chance of living a happily ever after.
When the kiss ends, I realize there isn’t any point in pretending. Nothing has changed and I will never be the man that gets the girl. She’ll never be anything more than the girl I sleep with all while wishing she was completely fucking mine.
11
Bailey
* * *
“So you just agreed on a friends with benefits relationship?” Erin’s question rings out through the speakers of my car.
“Yeah. Our friendship has been strained, and after having sex, it seemed like it went back to normal. Almost like we’ve found some kind of balance.” That was the truth, sex seemed to help both of us.
“Is that what you want? I know you’ve loved him since we were kids.” Hearing the worry in her tone astonishes me. She’s the one that pushed for me to do this, said it was a good idea, said that if I wanted to move on, I should at least give sex with him a try, and now she was worried about what was going to come of it.
“I’m fine with it. All I want is to be able to have some type of relationship with him, and if the physical one is all he can give me right now, then I’ll take it. It’s not like I’m not enjoying it.” Sex with Elijah is, well, all I’m going to say is that he knows what he is doing. He always makes sure I come first, always. We’ve had sex every single night for the last week. It’s intense and I feel it in my muscles and core with each step I take.
Erin laughs. “Of course you’re enjoying it, it’s sex. But will your heart thank you when you’re done? The man’s made it clear he’s not going to give you a ring or move in with you. I just want you to remember that this is not going to go anywhere.”
The sting of her words can’t be missed. “We’re friends that happen to be screwing, so what? We made a deal, and when this is over, we’ll pretend like it never happened.”
My response causes Erin to snort. “Because it’s totally that easy, right? Because you aren’t currently planning a wedding, and what you’ll name your babies, right?”
“Stop,” I growl, my heart feeling as if it’s being kicked by her words. I know I can’t have Elijah in any other way than a friend, but I can experience his touch, feel his love, even if he doesn’t want to admit that he feels it. He claims we’re friends with benefits, but then he treats me differently, like holding me after sex, cuddling me, feeding me, doing things that are very couple-like even though he claims and refuses to put a brand on us.
“I got myself into this mess and I’ll deal with whatever happens when we get to that bridge. I’m enjoying the sex between us and that is it.”
As if she can hear the hurt in my voice, Erin sighs. “I’m sorry. I just worry about you. You’re my best friend and I want you to be happy. If whatever is going on between you two makes you happy, then that’s all that matters.”
“I know. I want to be happy too, and right now, this is what makes me happy.” Panic grips onto me for a second. “Please don’t tell anyone about this. We don’t want people to think we’re a couple, and god forbid my father finds out.”
I can only imagine what he would think, and the ass chewing he would get from my dad. He’s very old-fashioned, so Elijah and I screwing with no intention of being together. I think it would give him a stroke.
“I figured as much. Don’t worry, my lips are sealed.”
Erin and I say our goodbyes as I pull into the parking garage of Westbrook Enterprise. I find a spot close to the elevator and park. When I turn the car off, I exhale deeply, my eyes catching on my reflection in the rearview mirror. My hair falls in soft curls down my back. I’ve dolled myself up a little and put on a sundress. I tell myself it isn’t for Elijah, but it totally is.
I want him to notice me, see me like I see him. Entering the building, I head for the elevator and smooth a hand over the wrinkles in my dress. I have to remind myself that this is all for show, it’s nothing but pretend. We aren’t together and there will never be a romantic future for us. As soon as I exit the elevator and enter the floor, he sticks his head out of his office and says “hi.” I don’t miss the way his mouth hangs open like a fish, or how wide his blue eyes are. Time stands still… his gaze burning a path of fire up and down my body. He clears his throat, and I notice the way he reaches for his cock through his dress slacks, adjusting himself.
“I think I am going to need to see you in my office, Miss Renshaw.”
“Me?” I say innocently, batting my eyelashes at him. He licks his lips, that pink tongue of his darting out over the full bottom one and I want to kiss him.
“Yes, I have a very important matter to discuss with you.” I blink, suddenly concerned.
“Oh, okay. I’ll be there in five. Just let me put my stuff down real quick.”
“No... this needs your immediate attention. I need you… in here, right now,” he growls. There’s an urgency to his voice, and it blankets me, causing goosebumps to form over my flesh.
Hanging up my purse over my chair, I head into his office, my steps slow, my hips deliberately swaying with each precise step I take. I keep my gaze straight ahead, on the sleek floor to circling glass windows that overlook the city.
“You said it was immediate, what do you need?” My womb quivers, my panties growing wet as I wait for him to answer me. The door closes behind us and I hear the lock clicking into place. Oh shit. Twisting around, I find him stalking toward me like a wildcat on the prowl, while I stand there frozen like the prey.
“On my desk, Miss Renshaw,” he orders.
“On?” I slowly swallow, he doesn’t actually think we’re doing this right here and right now, does he?