“It’s so nice to meet you, Bailey. I look forward to getting to know you better. I’m sure we’ll be working together often in the near future.” The witch smiles at me, but it’s fake. I can see it from a million miles away, her fake smile, her fake nails. Suddenly, I’m reminded all over again how I’m nothing like the women Elijah usually goes for. I’m not tall, tan, or toned. I’m Folger’s coffee, and she’s Starbucks.
Tears burn at the back of my eyes. Gritting my teeth, I try and shove the thoughts away. My eyes hone in on her hand. It lingers on Elijah’s bicep for far too long and I clench my fists at my sides, my nails digging into my palms in an effort to stop myself from removing her hand myself. I don’t say anything, not a single word, as she says goodbye, and slips past me and into the hallway. It might be childish, but I don’t give a fuck.
Elijah motions for me to come in. I walk across the threshold with barely controlled anger simmering in my veins.
Who does he think he is?
Again, I try and remind myself that I have no right to be jealous. He wasn’t doing anything with her, right? It was probably just work-related, I tell myself, but my stupid heart tells me that something is up with each beat.
My stomach is currently twisted into painful nervous knots. If it was work-related, why did she come to his place instead of the office? I’m standing in the middle of his living room, blind fury funneling through me.
He’s not yours, Bailey. He doesn’t want you like that.
“Sunflower?” He steps into view, his body directly in front of mine, forcing me to see him, really see him. His features are soft, concern etched into the creases on his forehead.
“Are you sleeping with her?” I ask, unable to hold my tongue a second longer. Elijah looks at me like I’ve slapped him across the face, bewilderment filling his eyes.
“What the fuck, Bailey? The only person I’ve had sex with is you, and I told you I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. What’s gotten into you?” His nostrils flare, and he grips at the back of his head before shaking it. “We said no jealousy, and I don’t know if you know this but the way you’re acting looks a lot like jealousy.”
“I know…” I drop my gaze to the wood floor. “I’m not doing this on purpose, okay? I had a long day and then I get here and see her… a woman that looks just like your cup of tea. She’s grabbing your arm and looking at you like she is about to climb you like a tree.” Shaking my head, causing a cascade of brown locks to cover my face, I take a step backward. I shouldn’t be here. This is wrong. “Listen, this is a bad idea… I’m sorry. I’ll just go and stay with my dad for a few days.”
“Wait…” Elijah calls out, reaching out for me, his fingers wrapping around my elbow. “Stay with your dad? What’s going on? Are you okay? Did something happen?”
Did something happen? I nearly snort.
“My apartment is flooded. It looks like a damn hurricane made landfall inside it. The lady upstairs fell asleep in the tub and the water leaked through the floor and directly into my place. I was going to ask you if I could stay with you, but clearly that’s a stupid idea, so I’ll just stay with my dad and make the two hour round trip from his house and back to the office every day.”
I’m so caught up in my head that I start speaking my thoughts out loud. “I suppose I could rent a hotel room, but what’s the point of working all week when all I’ll be doing is paying the weekly rate.” I keep rambling on while Elijah stands there in silence, his fingers burning into my bare flesh, still looking more than a little pissed about the whole situation.
“You don’t even have to ask me, you know you can stay here. As long as you need or want too. My home is your home, Sunflower.” His words find me through the fog of anger and jealousy. I don’t understand why I’m having all these stupid emotions at once.
Then again, I do. Spending every day with Elijah and every night in his bed doesn’t help things. Our arrangement was only sex, and yet we end up eating dinner each night together. We laugh and joke like friends, but have sex like lovers, and to any woman, that would be confusing.
Warm hands cradle my cheeks, forcing my head up. My eyes locking on Elijah’s. “What are you thinking about?”
“I… I don’t think this is working, Elijah. My emotions are all over the place. When I’m away from you, I crave you, when I’m with you, I want you closer.” My voice cracks, and it feels like my heart does at the same time.
“Don’t say that. You’re just stressed out right now. It’s going to be okay... you can stay here. We can continue doing what we’re doing. It’s been great so far, hasn’t it?”
It has… but what if it’s not enough for me? I don’t say that though, because I’m not ready to let him go. The thought of even doing so makes me sick.
“Can I stay in the spare room?” I question, feeling like I’ve been hit by a semi. If he says no, then I’ll have no choice but to get a hotel. I won’t be able to sleep in bed with him tonight without caving, without giving in to his touch.
“Of course, though you know my bed is always open to you.”
Don’t tempt me. A small smile tugs at my lips and I let him press a kiss to my forehead before releasing me. I almost sag to the floor at the loss of his touch, but somehow manage to stay upright. I’m beyond tired, and with my emotions spiraling out of control like a B2 bomber, sleep is what I definitely need.
“Also, I left my suitcase in the car. I didn’t want to bring it up before actually asking you if I could stay.”
“I’ll get it, you go and relax. Take a bath or whatever you want to do.”
“I think I’m going to go crawl into bed and go to sleep. I’m way too exhausted to shower and the thought of going near water right now makes me mental.”
Elijah looks defeated by my statement but doesn’t do anything else, thankfully. I don’t have it in me tonight to fight with him. I just need a good night’s sleep and to forget about all the events that took place today, good and bad. If only I could forget the fact that I’m falling deeper in love with my best friend.
12
Elijah
* * *
Sleep. What is that? I didn’t sleep even a wink last night. It’s impossible to do anything without Bailey now and knowing that she was sleeping in the room across the hall had me on edge to say the least.
All I could think about was slipping out of my bed and finding my way into hers. She belonged in my bed, her tiny body wrapped around mine. I tried like hell to fall asleep last night, but all I could think about was her face when she told me she couldn’t do this anymore.
What the hell am I going to do if she ends this, whatever the hell it is between us? With each day that passes, the lines grow more and more blurred. Bailey is slowly becoming a drug that I can’t get enough of. I need her like a crack addict needs crack. Maybe the twelve-step program is what I need?
Would I let her go if she tells me she is done? Or would I give in to the desire to make her mine? I’m so fucking afraid of hurting her, but more than that, I’m afraid of getting hurt myself.