“You can’t be so hard on yourself.”
“I can, actually. Eli was in Europe all summer and didn’t hook up with anyone else!”
“Yeah, maybe, but Gavin has the whole broody thing going on. And those abs! I mean, you’re only human.”
I laugh, but shake my head. “I ruined a great thing.”
He picks up a baseball off the ground and tosses it from hand to hand. “Maybe your relationship wasn’t that great,” he says. “I don’t know. Maybe you wouldn’t have been looking for something else if you were so happy. Like, look at Danish and her girlfriend. They talk every night. Danish never looks at anyone else, and Marissa practically throws herself at her.”
“What? Marissa?” I remember that Marissa is Danish’s ex.
“Yeah. You haven’t noticed?”
“No,” I say.
Was I happy? I think I was when we were together. “I guess I’ve changed a little since I came to camp. I’m not the same person I was in June. In some ways for the better, and in some ways for the worse. I don’t want to be the kind of person who cheats on her boyfriend. It’s just not who I am. Or maybe it is. Maybe I have to get used to the idea that this is who I am. Someone who cheats on her boyfriend just because a guy is hot. A guy who also has a girlfriend! Ugh, I’m the worst.”
“You’re not the worst.”
“You looked at me like I was the worst. When you saw us. Gavin and me.”
“I did not.”
“You did!”
“I did not. I was just”—he hesitates—“surprised.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
He laughs.
“Thank you for not telling anyone,” I say.
“I would never do that to you,” he says.
“So what happened with . . . Lis?” I ask. “Not my business?”
He shakes his head. “She’s just not the right person for me. And I guess I knew it. I hope I didn’t hurt her feelings.”
“She’ll be okay,” I say.
“What, you think I’m that easy to get over?”
I laugh. “Summer’s done. She’ll move on.”
“Leaving a trail of broken hearts wherever I go,” he says. “That is what I’m known for.”
We hear the sound of children laughing from the road.
“I guess the movie is over,” I say. “We should go back.”
“Any guy is lucky to have you. You know that, right?”
“I guess.” I sit up and spin to face him. “Thanks, Botts.”
“Anytime, Rosenspan. Anytime.”
My girls are all walking back to the bunk, getting milk and cookies.
“Sam!” Prague screams, wrapping her arms around me. “I’ve missed you terribly! Where have you been?”
“Just dealing with some stuff, my dear,” I say. “How was the movie?”
“Great!”
“Boring!”
“Slugger fell asleep!”
“You all need a good night’s sleep,” I say, putting my arms around them. “Tomorrow’s a big day.”
Back at the bunk, Janelle is running to the shower. “I stink,” she calls out. “But today was so much fun!”
Lis and Talia are both sitting cross-legged on Talia’s bed.
“Hey,” I say.
“What happened to you?” Talia asks. “Why was Danish covering?”
I don’t want to get into it. “I had to deal with something. But I’m staying in tonight if you want to go out. You have OD, right?”
“Oh,” Talia says. “Thanks. I’m so tired, though. Lis and I were going to crash anyway.”
I strip off my clothes and put on sweats and a T-shirt.
“Did you see Janelle and her tube tops at practice today?” Talia says.
“She really needs to invest in a sports bra,” Lis says.
Talia laughs. “And a razor.”
I can’t deal with this right now. “Can you guys just stop? It’s enough.”
“Excuse me?” Talia asks.
“The bitchiness. The cattiness. I can’t listen to it anymore. So she wears tube tops. Big freakin’ deal. And why does she need to shave her armpits? The guys don’t! She shouldn’t have to shave them if she doesn’t want to!”
Lis looks scared at my outburst, but Talia rolls her eyes.
“Don’t pretend she’s not a freak,” Talia says.
“So what if she’s a freak!” I say. “Everyone’s a freak!”
“We’re not,” Lis says.
“Lis, you’ve signed your name in at least fifteen spots in this cabin. Why? And Talia! You use too much sanitizer. Like way too much. There’s no way that much sanitizer is good for you.”
They both glare at me.
“And, look, I’m a freak too, okay!” I say. “I’m freakin’ Porny! And I messed up the most important thing in my life for possibly no reason! And I kind of love frog hunting! Which is a really weird thing to love! And I’m very bad at folding! So big deal if Janelle likes tube tops! And her hairbrush! So WHAT?!”
I hear the front door open and I stop.
Janelle comes into the counselors’ room.
“Hi,” I say. I take a deep breath. “I’m going to brush my teeth,” I say, and head to the bathroom.
The last day of Superbowl is busy.
Our girls’ game is in the morning. We beat the other team. I manage to avoid talking to both Lis and Talia the whole time, too. I feel gleeful that we beat them.
Since Gavin is with the boys all day, I somehow manage to avoid talking to him.
We win inter boys, senior girls, and CIT boys, too. It all comes down to the staff game, which is Evening Activity.
Not all staff has to play, so I sit it out. So do Lis and Talia.
But we have the Tank. And Janelle. And we win the game. And the whole Superbowl. Janelle is so ecstatic when a bucket of water is poured over her and Tank to declare them the winners that I start to cry, but this time out of joy. Well, mainly.
On Friday, the second to last day of camp, it rains all day.
The kids are all inside the A & C while the four of us—me, Talia, Lis, and Janelle—are helping clean up the A & C porch.
I try to forget about what happened here with Gavin and focus on the cleaning. It doesn’t help that the four of us are barely talking. There are beads everywhere; and for the record, Janelle and I have picked up twice as many beads as they have. Janelle doesn’t seem to notice any of this—she is still on a high from winning Superbowl and she’s humming “We Are the Champions” to herself.
But suddenly the rain changes from a drizzle to a downpour.
“Wow,” I say. “This is intense.”
“Yeah,” Lis says. “Definitely intense. Can’t we make up before the end of camp?”
I look up at her and can’t help but laugh. “I was talking about the rain,” I say.
Talia sits down and sighs. “Both are pretty intense.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Janelle asks.
The three of us laugh, and we all sit down.
“I’m sorry,” Talia says suddenly. “Janelle? I know I was a total bitch this summer.”