A few silent tears fall as I shut my eyes. Tomorrow will be a better day; it has to be.
CHAPTER THREE
Work begins and I have to admit, even though I miss Dillan it was nice not having to get up an hour earlier just to sort him out as well as myself. It’s busy, but then I expect it to be. It is Saturday after all.
We’ve created a lot of treats to place in the fridge up front, but clearly not enough, as people swarm in for coffee and snacks. By one we’ve run out and my feet are killing me. I have yet to have a break. I don’t know how Valentine does it; she’s a lot older, yet doesn’t seem fazed at all.
The bell chimes, signifying the entrance of another customer. I’m shocked when I hear a familiar baby squawk.
“That’s Dillan.” I say to Valentine, who is covered in flour from head to toe. I’m very much the same, but I also have strawberry jam splatter marks across my midriff.
“There’s a man up front asking for you.” Tiffany calls through the kitchen doorway.
I hastily wash my hands and rip off my apron before darting into the front. Nathan stands by the counter, looking at the cakes on display, a car seat in one hand and his phone in the other. Yep, he’s wearing his gloves.
“Hi.” I blink, shocked to see him. “I thought you were coming back tonight.”
“Ran out of milk.” He responds, placing Dillan’s car seat on a nearby table. “He’s hungry.”
Well that doesn’t make sense. “How did you run out? I made enough to last you until tomorrow morning.”
“I had an accident with the last three bottles.” Nathan pulls a new box of glass bottles from the changing bag, which is hanging from one shoulder. “I replaced them.”
“Oh.” Ducking under the counter, I make my way towards them, wishing I could pick up my son but refraining due to my current state. “I…” I motion to my clothes, trying to avoid eye contact. “Can’t really pick him up right now.”
Nathan frowns, clearly not happy at the current predicament. “Well what do you expect me to do?”
“I have some milk at home in the freezer. I’ve been expressing the past few days.”
He checks his watch. “I have to leave soon.”
“And I have to work.” I hiss, my eyes narrowing on him. “Mum has gone out thinking she wouldn’t be having Dillan today. Besides, you weren’t supposed to bring him back until later. It’s not fair that you’re messing us around like this.” He opens his mouth to argue but I cut him off. “No, you wanted this responsibility. You can’t just drop everything because you feel like it.”
He runs his tongue over his lower lip and I’m shocked at how much I’ve missed this small quirk of his. “Fine. Give me your keys.”
“Everything okay?” Valentine asks as I enter the kitchen and walk over to where my bag rests in the closet.
“Fine. Just a Dillan issue. It’s sorted.” Got them! “I’ll be back in a moment.” Nathan looks around impatiently, one hand rocking the car seat whilst the other taps his hip. “Here.”
“When will you be finished?”
“Not until six.” I respond, but Valentine quickly calls out.
“Seven!”
“Right, we have an order to do for a private party.” Darn. “I’ll call my mum.”
Nathan lets out a long sigh, picks up Dillan after pocketing my keys and heads to the door.
“It’s nice to see you.” I blurt, causing him to stop for a second. “Thank you for having him.”
He dips his head, only a small noncommittal acknowledgement of my words. I watch him walk away, wishing things were different; I hate this gap between us.
“Well he seemed nice,” Valentine remarks sarcastically.
“He is, he’s just… he’s just Nathan.” Now… where was I?
Arriving home is nerve wrecking. I’m wondering whether Nathan will be here or if Mum is back and has taken over Dillan duty. When I see his car in the driveway I don’t know whether to be relieved or not.
“Hey.” I call as I walk inside and peel my coat from my torso.
“I have to go.” Nathan states, immediately brushing past me. What the hell?
I grab his arm and tug him back to me, a frown of confusion showing the reality of my feelings. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ve put Dillan to bed.” He says, without looking at me. With a sharp tug, his arm is free of my grasp.
“Seriously?” I scoff and chase after him, stopping as he pulls open his car door. I push against it, placing my body between him and the vehicle. “Is this how it’s going to be?” His eyes stare at a spot over my shoulder and I want to huff in frustration. “Please Nathan. Stop shutting me out.”
I notice his eyes soften for a brief second, but it’s gone as quick as it came. “Move, Guinevere.”
“Umm… no, I don’t think I will.” My look is defiant as I cross my arms over my chest and raise my chin a little. “Not until we’ve… hey!” His hands grip my arms and quickly pull me away. I’m backed into the window beside the open, front door of my house and memories of the night he raised his fist in anger flood through me, causing me to shy away. He either doesn’t notice my sudden flash of fear or he doesn’t care.
The heat from his body seeps into my chilled bones. I shiver a little as he steps closer, only an inch separating us. “I’m pretty sure I told you a few things before you left.”
I nod, remembering his words clearly, not to mention the way he said them. So sincerely, so cruelly, so angrily.
“You’re dead to me.”
“Then why do you insist on still conversing with me when I clearly don’t want your attention?” He sounds so formal, so well-spoken and above me, a lot like he sounded when we first met. “I’ll be there for Dillan, but just…” A brief flash of pain swims in his almost chocolate coloured eyes. “Stay away from me.”
I should stop, but I don’t. “I don’t understand. I won’t mention what I saw.” Please, just give me a chance to show you how sorry I am for all that happened to you and for not being able to squelch my curiosity. “I don’t feel any different about you because of what I saw. Please, Nathan.”
“I’m leaving. I’ll call you again in a few weeks.” He snaps, running a hand through his longish hair.
“Maybe I’ll refuse to answer.” I say this petulantly. I’d never stop him from seeing Dillan but if I have to insinuate that I would, to get our friendship back, then that’s what I’ll do.
His entire body tenses, his face freezing as if zapped by an electric current. “Then I’ll knock on your door and insist that you allow me access to my… nephew.” What was that pause all about? Was he going to say something else?
“And if I refuse? I don’t think it’s nice for him to be around you when you so clearly hate me.” This is only slightly true. Nathan loves Dillan; I know he’d never do anything to hurt him, emotionally or physically. “How’s that?”