I brush past them, still smiling, and get back on with my work. Things are starting to look up.
When I get home I’m in the mood to clean and organise, even though I’m exhausted. Dillan is happy on my bed nearby. I’ve placed padding around him to stop him rolling off the large mattress, but I have one eye on him at all times anyway. I’m never more than a foot away. My room isn’t big enough to allow me much distance.
He kicks obliviously at the toy by his feet. Every time his foot connects, the part that hangs above his torso lights up. I don’t think he realises he is the cause of the flashing lights and jingling music, but it certainly gets him excited.
“I have to leave soon.” Mum calls as she barrels up the stairs and into my room. “Christ.” she lets out a pant and clutches her side. “I’m getting too old for that.”
“You’re like forty; get a grip.” I remark and pull out a pile of junk that has been kicked under my bed. Mostly it has been kicked there on purpose. Ever since I started this new job I’ve been too exhausted to clean and my mum has been dealing with the rest of the house.
“Sasha stopped by an hour before you got home. She said she’s sorry she hasn’t called and dropped off your jacket. It’s downstairs in the hall. You left it in her car when she picked you up from Nathan’s.”
“Thanks.” I glance at my son again, ensuring his safety, before returning to the task at hand. “Have a good night at work.”
“Kisses.” She crawls onto my bed and kisses Dillan’s open mouth. “I love you, my sweet boy.” With a pat on my head, she leaves me to my chores.
Dillan coos and gurgles. “Shut it you.” I say in a soft, gentle and happy tone; it only causes him to make more noises.
Once my room is done, I hold my son in one arm and descend the stairs. I’m definitely exhausted now, even though the night is young. It can’t be later than six.
I text Sasha and thank her for bringing my jacket. I’d completely forgotten about that.
Sasha: No problem girly xxx I’ll call you tomorrow. Xxx
She doesn’t call and Tommy rarely responds to my texts. Another week goes by and I’m finally wondering whether I had real friends at all. I get that I have a kid now but, after everything we’ve been through, you’d think they’d at least invite me places. This isn’t the case. I took Dillan for a walk the other day and decided to stop in at the old café where I worked. Sasha entered not long after me with a group of university friends that I don’t recognize. She came over and said hello, with promises to call.
More promises broken.
I leaned down to my son and made him one promise that I would definitely keep. “Me and you against the world. I promise to never abandon you.”
CHAPTER FOUR
My phone rings. It’s not even seven in the morning. Nathan. Ugh, what does he want? It’s too early to argue. “Hello?”
“Get Dillan ready. I’ll be there in two hours.” And the line goes dead.
Are you fucking kidding me? No. Dillan had me up half of the night. I’m sleeping and I’m going to remain this way until he wakes me up again. Screw you and your orders.
Besides, my eyes won’t stay open long enough for me to get out of bed.
I let out a startled choke when the blanket is pulled from my body, disturbing me from my pleasant dreams that I no longer remember. “What the hell?” I blink away my blurred vision and glare at a scowling Nathan. He’s looming over me in a way that tells me he probably wants to throttle me right now. “I could have been naked.” I practically am, in only a top and knickers.
“I called you two hours ago, only to find you still sleeping?” He scoffs and walks over to the cot where Dillan is now awake and crying, probably from my sudden screech of fear.
“I don’t remember a call.” I lie and sit up. My hands immediately begin rubbing my eyes. Wait… “How did you get in?”
“I knocked; your mum answered.”
“And she just let you in?” I frown, not believing that for a second.
“When I explained to her it was my weekend to have Dillan, yes, she did. I saved her the trouble of waking you herself.”
“Oh. It’s nine in the morning. Why are you wearing a suit?” Not that he doesn’t look good. He really does.
“Could you get up and pack his things? I’ll bring him back on Monday.”
“I never agreed to the length of time, or you even picking him up.” I stand, not feeling modest in the slightest. “I’m going to have a shower.”
“I have places I need to be.” He snaps and my anger at his tone peaks.
“Then you shouldn’t be taking Dillan!”
“I’ll get him ready myself.”
“You do that.” I say around a yawn and pull open the door. “I’ll be about fifteen minutes. I want to say goodbye before he leaves.”
His jaw clenches but he remains silent, which I’m eternally grateful for.
I take my time showering, just to be awkward. I also take my time getting dressed and drying my hair, again… just to be awkward.
“Today would be nice, Guinevere!” Nathan calls up the stairs, making me snigger. Why am I pushing him?
After making him wait another ten minutes, I finally make my way downstairs. He’s sitting on the couch with Dillan on his chest, looking casual and content. Well, as casual as one can look in an expensive suit. “Sorry it took me so long.” No I’m not. Not in the slightest.
Nathan lifts Dillan up and over his face, making him smile and gurgle. “She’s not is she? Not at all. She’s silently laughing at me.” His voice is high and happy. I love it when he speaks to Dillan like this. “Mummy is mean, yes she is.” Uh-oh.
“Puke face.” I say with a wince, but it’s too late. A splat of white, lumpy baby vomit leaves my son’s mouth and lands directly beneath Nathan’s chin. I get ready for the dramatics and grab baby wipes from the side. “Here.” I hastily make work of removing the vomit from his neck. Fortunately he doesn’t seem too fussed, but lets me clean him anyway. I use this moment of peace between us to bring up our last meeting. It didn’t end so well and I behaved appallingly. “I’m sorry for what I said.” What a ridiculous way to apologise. His eyes meet mine. It fuels my courage and calms me slightly, enabling me to continue. “I should never have used him as a weapon like that. I’m ashamed of myself.”
“You reacted to a… difficult situation.” He responds, his eyes softening on me.
“That’s not an excuse.”
“No.” He disagrees, smiling once more at Dillan. “It is an excuse, not a great one, but a forgivable one.” I sag slightly with relief. He forgives me and that actually feels pretty good. “He urinated all over my front the last time I had him.” Nathan shudders slightly at the memory. Typical Nathan to want to move on from our emotional moment, although I’m glad he doesn’t linger or hold grudges for too long. “He thought it was funny.”
Good boy. I mean… “Sorry.”