“Oh, Solomon. It’s so good to see you’re okay,” my mother says, breaking the spell as she hurries over and hugs him.
His eyes slide shut as he sinks into her embrace, his good arm wrapping around my mother’s waist. Mom pulls back, wipes the tears I didn’t see fall because she’s facing the other way, and says, “Grace told me what happened. What you did, Sol . . .” she trails off. Wiping her cheeks again, she takes a deep, shaky breath. “You risked your life for her and Levi, and almost lost yours in the process.”
Sol rubs the back of his neck and glances at me. “I couldn’t not—” He pauses, his gaze sliding to meet mine. I shiver, unable to look away from the love shining in his eyes. “She . . . Grace wouldn’t be here otherwise. I couldn’t lose her again.”
His gaze remains fixed on mine, and it’s taking everything in me to keep from rushing to his side.
My throat tightens with tears, and I can’t hold them back anymore. “Can you guys give us a minute?”
“Of course,” Mom says. She leans down to hug him again, then whispers, “Thank you.” She turns and flashes me a teary smile before leaving the room.
“Dude, you’re like Superman,” Ivan says, bumping Sol’s shoulder with a loosely curled fist.
Sol winces, and mutters, “Careful. I’m not in the mood to go back to the ICU.”
“Shit, I’m sorry,” Ivan says, stepping back with his hands raised in the air.
“Just handle me with care for now,” Sol says. “I’m kinda delicate.”
Ivan drops his arms, his eyebrows shooting up. “You’re gonna milk it, aren’t you?”
Sol grins. “Like you wouldn’t believe.”
MJ laughs as she moves to hug Sol. “See you in a bit.”
Once they leave, I finally shuffle closer to the bed, close enough to see the specks of silver in his eyes. His smile has faded now, and we’re just staring at each other.
“Your leg is not in a cast,” I blurt out.
Shit. Is that all I can say after I almost lost my mind worried about him?
He shakes his head. “The doctor put in a metal rod to hold the broken bones together. No cast needed.”
“Oh,” I murmur, allowing my gaze to memorize his features all over again.
“Sit.” He pats a spot on the bed, but I can’t. If I get too close, I’ll unravel before I can say what I need to say. Being this close to him without touching him is already more than I can handle.
“I’ve been so worried, Sol.” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep the tears at bay, but they fall, nonetheless. “How could you risk your life like that? You could have died.”
Then I remember my mother’s warning, so I backtrack, and say, “You’re here now. That’s what matters.”
Leaning back into the pillows, he sighs. “Do you know what was going through my head when I saw you run after Levi?” He doesn’t wait for me to answer. “I kept thinking I’d lose you all over again, and it terrified me. Every second you and I have been apart since I watched you drive away has been a nightmare. There’s this hole in my chest, Gracie, and the longer we are apart, the more I get sucked into that darkness. When I’m close to you, I feel alive. It fills that chasm.”
His words pierce through me, and I can’t stay away anymore. Scooting closer, I sit on the bed and take his hand in mine, pressing it against my cheek. “We don’t need to talk about it right now. I just wanted to see you—”
“When we kissed, that feeling came back.” He cuts me off as if he didn’t hear what I said. “That rush, like I was high on some drug. It was selfish of me to do that, I know. But then you ran after him, and nothing could have prepared me for that feeling. The only thing playing on repeat as I followed you out was mine. She’s mine, mine, mine. She belongs with me.
“By the time I got outside, I could see the truck barreling down the street. Levi was already there, and you were chasing him. I’d never known true terror until that moment as different scenarios went through my head. A life without you. There’s no way that was going to happen as long as I was alive.”
“So it’s fine for you to risk your life saving someone else, but it’s not okay for me to do it? That’s not fair.”
“You are not someone else, Gracie.”
“What about Levi?”
His gaze drops to his lap as he says, “You love him.”
I frown. “You saved him because I love him?”
He sighs. “I might not like him on principle, but I couldn’t just stand there and watch that truck run him down. I might be selfish when it comes to you, but I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” He pauses, eyes searching mine. “I’d literally do anything for you.”
“Please stop. I don’t deserve it.” He begins to speak, but I silence him with a finger on his lips and cup his jaw. Then I press my forehead to his. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”
“Does that mean you’re not mad at me anymore?”
I pull back and drop my hand. “I’m angry with us both. Maybe more angry with myself. I’ve never been able to resist you. You undo me like no one else. I shouldn’t have kissed you. It wasn’t right or fair to Levi or you.”
He shifts on the bed and shuts his eyes on an exhale. His face is much paler than moments ago. I’m about to point it out, but he says, “What I did led us here, and I’m so sorry. Maybe I should have handled myself better. You can’t deny how right it felt . . . still feels between us, though.”
Of course, it felt extraordinary. Nothing about what Sol and I feel for each other is less than phenomenal. But that’s beside the point. That kiss shouldn’t have happened, and we shouldn’t be talking about it. When he looks at me as though I’m his world, I feel like I can’t breathe because I’m a fraud.
Instead of answering him, I brush the dark locks of hair off his forehead and jerk my hand back. He’s burning up. His body slumps on the bed, and the circles under his eyes seem even darker. “Let’s talk about this another time, okay? Right now, let’s focus on getting you better.”
“You can’t deny how right it felt,” he repeats more firmly, his eyes popping open and locking with mine. I notice beads of sweat on his forehead.
“Sol, stop, okay? You don’t look too good. I’ll call the nurse.”
I hop down from the bed, grab the nurse call remote control and jab the button repeatedly. “Please be okay, please be okay,” I mutter under my breath.
“I’m fine, Gracie,” he slurs, trying to lift his hand in my direction. “Come back and si—”
The words freeze on his lips as his body, every part of him, locks and stiffens.
“Sol?” I drop the remote control and cup his face, but he’s staring at me with a blank look in his eyes. It’s like he’s looking at me but not really seeing me. “Hey. Come on, talk to me.” Then I yell, “Nurse!” as panic courses through me. Suddenly, Sol’s limbs start jerking intensely. I scream, “Help! I need help. Oh my God, what’s happening? Sol!” My hands are on his shoulders, trying to hold him down as he keeps sliding to the edge of the bed. The EKG machine beeps wildly, and the numbers on the screen are dropping fast.