“Good.” I can’t stop smiling, just thinking about proposing to Sol.
“I see that. What happened?”
I grin wide. “Um, I’m engaged.”
Her brows shoot up, and a slow smile spreads across her face. “Wow. Congratulations. I’m guessing Sol is the lucky man.”
I nod. “We drove to Boston to pick up my mother’s wedding gown and decided to spend a few days together. Then one thing led to another and . . . and before I knew it, I was proposing. Is it crazy? I mean, it’s Sol. It felt so perfect. Everything I’ve ever wanted was right there in front of me . . .”
“No. It’s not crazy. When it’s the right time and the right person, you know it. It’s as simple as that.”
I sit back in the chair and clasp my hands on my lap. “I just—yeah. Nothing in my life has ever felt so right.” I bite my bottom lip, trying to untangle my thoughts, the reason why I’m sitting here.
She leans forward, concern chasing away the amusement in her face. “I sense there’s more?”
“Yeah.” I rub my forehead and avert my gaze to my hands on my lap. “Is it normal to freak out at the thought of getting pregnant? Bringing a child into this world?”
Her eyes widen slightly, but she schools her expression quickly to neutral. “Are you pregnant, Grace?”
“Oh, no.” I laugh nervously. “At least I don’t think I am.” She nods, encouraging me to continue. “After Sol and I had, um, sex . . . some things happened, and I forgot to take my birth control pill. I took one when we got to Portland, but I haven’t stopped thinking about it. What if I get pregnant? Is it normal for me to feel like this? Scared? What if . . . what if the child ends up being like the man who fathered me?”
Understanding fills her features. “Have you talked to Sol about this?”
I nod. “He knows my fears. And that’s what sucks about the whole thing. I want to give him everything he deserves, but how can I do that when I’m scared of what runs in my blood?”
“First of all, it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. You’ve taken a very important step and acknowledged how you feel. All right?”
Inhaling deeply, I nod, flexing my hands on my lap.
“Secondly, we have no way of knowing if a child will have a genetic predisposition to become a rapist or a serial killer. It hasn’t been proven. No one knows if these kinds of people are born or made, so I think you’re safe.”
I rub my palms on my face and exhale through my mouth. “So, there’s no reason to worry about the genetic stuff?” She shakes her head. “Thank God.”
“What did your mother say about you and Sol?”
“I haven’t told her. My grandparents flew in for a surprise visit, and things didn’t go well. I decided to wait and tell her when things calm down. She already has a lot on her plate.”
“Maybe you’re underestimating her?”
I mull over her words, then shift on my seat. “Yeah, maybe.” My mother has always wanted the best for me, no matter what. Maybe telling her is not such a bad idea.
“What about the dreams? Has it gotten better?”
I nod. “I’m still working on it, but I feel more in control.”
“I’m really glad, Grace.” She gives me a warm smile, then glances at her watch, then back at me. “Looks like our time is up. See you again next week?”
“Yeah,” I say, grabbing my bag and standing. Smiling, I feel much lighter. “Until next Monday.”
I head to the door and grab my coat, thinking about how far I’ve come in the past four months with the help of Dr. Taylor. I look over my shoulder to the school counselor. “Thank you for everything, Dr. Taylor.”
“Anytime, Grace. You’ve come so far, and I’m very proud of you.”
I walk out of her office, and just as I walk out the main entrance door, I slam against something hard, forcing me back a few steps.
“Crap. I’m so sorry I wasn’t looking—”
“Grace?” a familiar voice says. My head jerks up. Levi’s brown eyes watch me, a frown marring his forehead. “Are you okay?”
I nod. “Yeah! You?”
Instead of answering me, his gaze darts to the building behind me, before locking with mine again. “Dr. Taylor?”
“Yeah. I’ve been seeing her for a few months now.” My cheeks heat up for no reason at all. I mean, it’s not wrong to see a therapist. And it’s my business. Then why am I embarrassed?
“Everything okay?” he asks.
I clear my throat, deciding to tell him the truth. “I’ve been having nightmares about the accident. I’m much better now, though.” I add the latter quickly. “What are you doing here?” I ask before he can pursue the subject.
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, and he shifts his weight from foot to foot. That’s when I notice he doesn’t have a cast on his leg anymore. Instead, he’s wearing a walking boot. His crutch is nowhere in sight.
Finally, he sighs. “I have an appointment with Dr. Taylor.”
My brows shoot up. “Yeah?”
“I decided to seek help after, you know . . .” he trails off and squeezes the nape of his neck. “Thank you for calling me on it, Grace.”
I smile up at him. “I’m really glad, Levi. Seriously, I’ve been worried about you.”
“I’m doing well. I feel better, too.” He glances down at his legs. “I can finally walk without crutches. I’m in a good place.”
“That’s good,” I say around the lump of emotion in my throat. “I’m really proud of you.”
He shifts his weight again. “Actually, I’ve been wanting to talk to you and apologize.”
“For what?”
“For being an unbearable ass.”
“Oh gosh. No. You don’t need to apologize. I mean—”
“I do, Grace. And I’ll totally understand if you don’t want to forgive me. I just want to walk away with a clear conscience.”
Inhaling deeply, I press my lips shut to stop the protest bubbling in my throat from slipping out. Then, I say, “Okay. I forgive you, Levi. But seriously, there’s no need—”
His mouth curls in smile all of a sudden, his dimples coming out to play. “Thank you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to head in before the good doc calls to ask where I am. See you around, Grace.”
“Bye, Levi.”
He brushes past me, and limps toward the door. After he’s gone, I turn and head down the street, unable to wipe the smile off my face.
“You’ve been super distracted,” MJ says, sliding a Coke in my direction, then a coffee in Zulakya’s. The bookstore is not busy at the moment, so we hover around at the cashier’s counter. “The only time I’ve seen you really smile since we came back from spring break was when you told me you proposed to Sol. What’s up? Is it your grandparents? I still can’t believe your grandfather said those awful things.”
One night after spring break, the three of us were hanging out in the dorm room, catching up on what went on during spring break. MJ told us that she and Ivan were working through their issues. He told his mom he had no interest in anyone else other than MJ. And that he can make his own decisions. MJ decided it was enough for now, and just the fact that he stood up to his mother made her feel more secure about where she and Ivan are headed. Thank God.