She fired off a litany of expletives that was pretty impressive. “I’d kill them both,” she muttered.
“I wanted to. But when I looked at all my options, I realized we could never work together again. I’d lost not only my partner, but my best friend. And the thought of Kincaid’s Crown never racing again? I couldn’t live with myself. So I made them a deal. Told them if anything happened to the horse, I’d spend my last breath taking them both down. Colin believed me. I have a close friend who’s a trainer who lives near, and he checks on the horse regularly. Two weeks ago, Kincaid’s Crown won a stakes race and broke a new speed record.”
“Do you think they doped him again?” she asked in a hard voice.
“No, even Colin admitted the horse was a natural talent. He knows I’d tip off the racing authorities if I suspected any tampering. My friend knows the signs to look for.” He turned away from the window and met her gaze. “Rumors spread about why I left. Some said I got itchy feet. Others said I wasn’t good enough and was replaced. I decided to come here for a break and begin fresh. I always wanted to train in America, so it was a good place to start.”
“And you met Phoenix.”
He nodded. A piece of his heart crumbled at the touch of sadness in her sea-green eyes. “And you, Harper. I met you.”
Her lips firmed. “But your plan is the same, right? To return to Ireland? Prove to everyone back home that nothing changed—you’re still a winner?”
No.
Nothing would be the same ever again, because when he returned to Ireland, she wouldn’t be with him. Yet she was right. His dream to return home to the land he loved as a winner and prove to Colin no one could break him hadn’t changed. He wouldn’t allow himself to be distracted from that one main goal, no matter how deep she’d carved herself into his heart.
“Yes.”
The word exploded through the room like a bullet. She winced slightly, but he kept his gaze pinned to hers, knowing he owed her the last shred of truth he could give.
“But you’re not Rachael. You’re not an extra side benefit or a pleasurable distraction. My heart recognizes yours. For the first time in my life, I know what it’s like to crave a woman night and day. To look forward to sharing a meal, or a conversation, or sitting in front of your tiny television surrounded by animals. You changed my life, and I won’t let this story make you believe you don’t mean everything to me.”
She wrapped her arms around her middle. Pain and want pulsed in her aura, but he remained still, knowing she needed time. Harper liked to process things in her own space. He refused to power through or use their physical intimacy to push her.
“I need some time to think.”
“I know.” He picked up his jacket. “I’m going to go out for a while. Make sure you eat. Text me if you need me for anything. And Harper?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for listening to me. I fucked up. I never wanted to hurt you or your family, but I swear to God I won’t make that mistake again. I can only hope you can forgive me.”
He didn’t wait for her answer.
He left.
She heard the door softly close and rolled over.
Harper stared at the ceiling and listened to the sounds out in the suite. She’d been up the whole night, unable to sleep. Combing through each one of his words and looking for an answer.
The jealousy was the worst. She hated thinking of him with Rachael and had to fight not to compare herself. A good hour was spent torturing herself on all the things they’d experienced together, including winning an Irish Derby. Maybe she was just another chapter in his book. Another tool in his belt. Another notch on his bedpost.
But her heart told her no.
She sensed he’d held nothing back with his story. Aidan wasn’t the type of man to bestow platitudes or flowery words on a woman just to work with her horse or seduce her into bed.
You changed my life . . .
Within all the mess, those were the words that stood out. He’d been just as scared. Scared to open up to another person and be vulnerable. Scared to admit there might be something more between them than a winning horse. She still worried about his obsession with winning, but it was a part of his very soul she’d never be able to change. Somehow, she needed to trust he’d do the right thing if ever faced with a decision.
Yes, he’d hurt her, but after hours spent analyzing his story, she came to one startling conclusion.
It didn’t matter.
Her heart and body still craved him.
She still wanted him to train Phoenix, because she believed he was the best for her horse.
And God help her, she still loved him. She’d never say the words, but she could let her body tell him in her own way. That way, when he finally left, she’d have no regrets.
She slipped out of bed, opened the door, and padded softly over to the couch.
He sat up, a shadowy silhouette of hard lines tangled in a blanket. He’d shed his jeans and shirt, but it was his scent that hit her first, a mixture of whiskey and hay and musk. Silently, she knelt in front of him and put her hands on his knees. He leaned forward. His lips brushed her cheek in reverence, and his gravelly voice raked across her nerve endings, bringing shivers.
“Mo stór. Forgive me.”
She reached for him, not needing any words for tonight. When his mouth closed over hers, her soul sighed with pleasure, and his tongue gently stroked her lips, savoring her taste before slowly thrusting inside.
He dragged her onto his lap so she straddled him. Her lacy boy shorts were no barrier to the hard, silken thrust of his cock against her most sensitive core, the fabric rubbing over her swollen clit to tease and tempt. He swallowed her needy cry, his fingers stabbed into her hair, holding her still while he devoured her whole.
She fell into his kiss like Alice fell into Wonderland. Time softened and blurred, and then he tore off her shirt and palmed her breasts, lifting them up like a present meant for his mouth and tongue and teeth. He suckled her nipples, and she rotated her hips in greed, her hands running over his hard muscles, enjoying the feel of rough body hair against her palms, then edging his underwear to the side while she cupped his throbbing erection, squeezing with just enough pressure to force a groan from his lips.
He reared up, golden eyes burning with a mixture of tenderness and lust, and he pressed a gentle kiss to her swollen lips the same time he ripped her underwear aside and surged into her wet heat.
The edge of lovemaking melded into fucking, a thrilling combination of nurturing care and savage possession. With each brutal thrust, he pressed a soft kiss to her lips, his palms cupping her cheeks, and she gripped his shoulders, helpless under the command of his body.
The orgasm grew closer with each roll of his hips, and the sheer tenderness of his caresses only fanned the flame. She begged in between each kiss, but he controlled every deliberate thrust, until finally he arched and slammed her onto his cock, and she cried out and shattered into orgasm.
She collapsed onto his chest. He wrapped his arms tight around her body, still inside her, and pressed his lips to her temple.
“Don’t leave me alone in this,” she finally whispered.
“I won’t. Never again.”
She dropped a kiss on his bare shoulder and snuggled into his embrace. They stayed like that for a long, long time, no more words needed.