Her eyes meet mine as her neck tightens. “Is it true, Linc?”
“I don’t know what she’s doing, Lola. I don’t get into her fucking business.” I climb up from the couch. “I don’t know why you all act like I’m supposed to be her fucking keeper.” I point to my chest. “That’s not my job.”
Lola stands up. “Of course it is.” Her eyes meet mine as she points at me, her fingernails perfectly polished. Lola makes our mom proud, being the perfect princess, like Colt was the perfect prince. “You were the closest to her through the years. And him.”
I hear the sob catch in her throat, and I swallow the thick lump in my own. “You can’t say his name?”
Watery tears fill her eyes, and she shakes her head. “You have to look after Penelope. She needs you. And you’re the only one who can.”
Please take care of her Linc. Watch over her. He would want you to.
My mother’s words echo in my head, and I feel the anger rise. “What do you want me to do, Lola? Lock her in her room? She’s a grown woman. She’s not fucking married.”
“But you know she would have been or at least engaged.” Her gaze locks on mine. “If she’s really, . . .” Lola pauses as if it’s too horrible to imagine Penelope fucking random guys. “If she’s acting out, it’s because she’s hurting, Lincoln. She needs you.”
“I’m right fucking here.”
She shakes her head. “You’re not though.” She walks to me and places a hand on my shoulder. “You’re hurting too.”
I’m not doing this.
I shrug out of her touch and walk to the glass doors, looking out over the backyard and the lake.
She joins me. “I don’t know how you can live here. The view of the lake is eerie for me now.”
I can’t take my eyes off the water. “I like it.”
My sister places her hand on my shoulder again, and I don’t pull away. “Don’t hurt her.”
I swallow, letting the lump in my throat bob. “She’s not my responsibility. I let her move in like you and Mom begged me to do, but I’m not keeping her on a leash.”
The truth is a part of me hates Penelope. It’s painful to be near her, and that pain always comes out in anger. I can’t help but hurt her.
“I think you can heal each other.”
“There’s no healing in either of our futures.” I turn directly to her. “The sooner you get that, the better.”
“He wouldn’t want this.”
“Don’t.”
It’s a warning, one not meant to hurt, but I can’t talk about him, and she knows that. I’ve made it clear.
“It’s his birthday tomorrow.”
I look out the glass, focusing on the water, placing my hand on the door frame and fighting the urge to scream.
“Please go.”
She sniffles. I know I’ve caused her to cry, but I can’t look at her.
“I love you, Lincoln. I’ll see you soon, okay?”
I nod but don’t look at her as she leaves my house. I hear the door click shut, but I can’t move.
Colt’s birthday.
It’s not a date I’ll ever forget, along with a few others.
I hear the door open. I know, by the brashness and clanking of the keys dropping on the floor, the sheer sloppiness of the entrance, it’s Penelope. She’s drunk, for sure, and angry.
Because it’s a date she’ll never forget either, one that at one time held happy memories.
I turn to face her, seeing I was right. Her eyes are red and bloodshot, her hair is a fucking mess as she sways near the door and places her hand on the table in the hall to steady herself. “Was that Lola’s car?”
I nod. “Yeah. You didn’t stop to say ‘hey’?” It’s sarcastic because I know there’s no way in hell she would ever want Lola to see her like this.
She rolls her eyes and lifts her black shirt off and over her head, tossing it to the floor.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
I’m no fucking gentleman, and she damn well knows it. My eyes slide over her black bra that barely contains her full tits and the curve of her hips as she starts down the hall. “I need a shower.”
I watch as she unclasps the bra and continues down the hall and out of sight. I should have known she was going to be a real pain in the ass this time of year.
Believe it or not, there was a time that girl was annoyingly happy.
Four Years Ago
“Colt . . .” It’s a breathless plea coming from me as I push gently on his firm chest. My body is on fire. The throbbing between my legs is not a new sensation and definitely becoming harder and harder to ignore. My nipples are pebbled painfully under my bra, aching for something I’m not familiar with.
Colt lifts his head and looks down at me, worry crossing his beautiful face. “What’s the matter? Are you okay?”
I nod, shifting underneath his weight, pressed between him and his soft bed. “I’m fine. I just . . .” I look at his swollen lips, puffy from our intense make-out session, feeling the heat creep to my cheeks as his erection rests between my legs. “We can’t . . .”
God, I’m an idiot.
He smiles at me and nods in realization as he rolls off me, laying on his side next to me. “I know, Pea.”
Does he really understand? Colt has been an amazing boyfriend, never pushing me too far. Never pressuring me to do anything I don’t feel comfortable with. It hasn’t been easy with us going to different schools, but we spend every chance we can together.
Including the nights I sneak over to his house, taking the bus and climbing up to his window like tonight.
I lift my eyes slowly to meet his gaze, his kind eyes shining even brighter when he smiles. “I know you want to.” My voice is nothing but a weak whisper.
He smiles and moves one of his hands to my cheek. “Of course I do.”
I’m living in a foster home with two girls my age. One is fifteen, and the other is fourteen. We all share a room, and at night, I listen to their stories about boys. Both are far more experienced than me. Candace, the fifteen-year-old has already had sex with three guys, one who was in his early twenties. The way they talk about sex, it’s like it’s no big deal, but I don’t know . . . I don’t want to end up like my mother, sixteen and pregnant, having to drop out of school and then eventually ditching the kid.
Not that Colt would ever abandon me like my dad did my mom, but I can’t risk it. The whole thought terrifies me.
His lips move to my forehead where he lays a chaste kiss. “But you’re worth waiting for, Pea.”
It’s his fifteenth birthday today. I should be showering him with presents, and we should be laughing and having a great time. He should not be having to comfort his insecure girlfriend right now.
He’s truly beautiful and starting to mature into a man before my eyes. “You could have any of those prep school bitches. I’m sure they’d be more than willing.” I sigh, “Why are you so good to me?”
I’m not naïve in any sense of the word. I’ve seen plenty in my years on this planet. I know that girls like me are usually used and tossed to the side like trash, especially by wealthy, spoiled boys. But with Colt, I never feel less than him. He never makes me feel like I come from nothing, like I’m not good enough.