Chapter One
Eliana
Stumbling, I grip my bathroom vanity, scoffing at the sight of its shining surface. Why even bother cleaning it every other day? Not like I am getting it dirty using any of my products. When I finally look at my reflection, I gasp at the pale girl staring back at me. She’s at least 10 pounds lighter, has dark bags under her eyes and a ghostly sick complexion. She looks nothing like the beautiful woman I was growing into with Joshua… before.
I throw both hands over my mouth to muffle the wail clawing at my chest at the thought of my Charming. I can still feel him in my arms, his blood seeping through my fingers as I begged him not to leave me. Why couldn’t I just go with him? I don’t want to be here anymore. He was the only one who really loved me, and now he’s gone. You. Promised. Me. Charming. Why? The pain is unbearable, and even though I’m aware my body isn’t quite strong enough to make a run for it yet, I don’t have a choice. The pain is shredding me from the inside out; if I don’t run, I’ll die in here. I am trapped in this prison, faking a drug-induced fog and sneaking in daily walks around my room. No one other than Rachel really comes in here anyways, they won’t even miss me. I’ve been forgotten while they continue their parties as if I’m not lying up here in ruins. They have destroyed me; shattered every piece of my soul. None of them ever really cared at all. I’m nothing more than a game… their pawn. The guys have no idea I have been listening in this whole time. Bargaining and betting. Sling and trade. I am nothing but a possession to any of them. Then, they sneak in here, one at a time, every few days, to cry over their guilt. Boohoo. You’re sorry? No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I ever trusted any of them.
My head is spinning, so I chug another glass of water. It’s the only way to flush the remainder of the drugs from my system before I head out. I nearly topple over when I hear the door to my room open, so I throw my hand out, flipping off the light. I sigh in relief when Rachel’s singing drifts into the room, knowing that I stand a chance against her small build. Standing just inside my darkened bathroom door, I watch as she moves to my bed and bends to lean over it, looking for me.
“You fucking cunt!” I lunge forward, tackling her, sending both of us to the ground. I straddle her and push my knife to her throat, blinking rapidly to clear my vision.
“It’s about fucking time, Lili.” She chuckles.
“You fucking drugged me. It’s been two months Rachel, and the whole time you have been feeding me pills to keep me fucking quiet!” I seethe.
“I did, but seriously, Lili, do you really think I had a choice? Now, let me the fuck up so we can talk. How long has it been? I mean, I thought you were pulling out of this at least four weeks ago when I was accidently late on your dose, but I could be wrong.” Rachel raises a brow.
This bitch.
“If you try anything, I’ll fucking cut you. I swear it. Don’t fucking push me, Rachel.” I rock back on my heels, swaying on my feet. Once she stands, I gesture to the bathroom. “Dump them.”
She walks over, opening the bottles and pouring the contents into the toilet and then flushing.
“What about Andr-“
“Fuck him! Do I look like I give a shit about any of that? After everything that happened, you all betrayed me. Every one of you left. I lost him and-” Her gaze softens as she reaches for me, and the dam breaks. “I can still hear him, Rachel. I can feel him. It hurts too much.”
“I know. I know, but you are so strong. You can-“
“No, don’t do that. It’s not about being fucking strong, and you know it. I am completely alone; I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
A door slams downstairs, and she holds a finger to her lips, motioning to my bedroom door. Carefully, we make our way over and open it just enough for their voices to drift up to us.
“It’s time, Jaxx. I am going to have Rachel start easing her off the meds. You need to get everything in order and be ready. You have the ring?” Daddy slams what sounds like a tumbler to his desk.
“Andrew, she has been catatonic for two months. She hasn’t even had time to fucking grieve. She’s seventeen. When she comes to, the last thing she will remember is the mother she thought dead stabbing her fiancé. Fuck, Andrew, Joshua bled out in her arms. You are being irrational. Think about it. I cannot propose to her yet, and she will never say yes.”
I clutch the locket Joshua gave me for my 16th birthday, still hanging from my neck. He’s right; that’s all I have, I don’t even know where he was buried. I don’t remember much of anything that happened those first couple of weeks after he died. After he proposed. My mother better stay fucking dead this time. All this time… all the years she was gone… Regardless of what Daddy did, she was the real fucking devil and deserves everything that happened to her. I hate her more than I do them. She was my mother, and from the very beginning, she hated me. Joshua and I were innocent, and yet they targeted us that night. They stole the purest, happiest moment of my entire life and then demolished every part of me. I hate them. My only regret, other than not dying with my love, is that her death was too easy. My thoughts are cut short by Costin’s arrogant ranting.
“Fuck, Andrew, why him? You know I want her; I’ll take care of her! Why not me?” Of course, Costin would throw his hat in the ring. I’m a fucking prize worth billions. However, if any of them gave a shit, I wouldn’t be standing here right now.
“You know why, Costin. Don’t fucking start with me.” Why not him daddy? I mean fuck all of you, but why not him in particular?
“I think you need to worry more about the fact that the girl is in serious need of a sandwich. Have you seen her lately? How can any of you stand here, talking as if what you are doing to her is okay? She is a fucking shell of the girl she was.” Abel stomps into the office, closing the door behind him.
I see red, “Fuck them.” If you care so much, Abel, march your big ass up here, and help me!
“Idiots,” Rachel breathes out. “You need to get moving.”
I march directly into my room, turning to Rachel too quickly, I place a hand on the doorframe to steady myself. “If you’re staying, you’re keeping your mouth shut. If you tell them anything, I will show you how much like my father I really am. Understood?”
She nods, “And what aren’t we telling them?”
“Exactly.” I walk into my closet and pull on my tightest black mini then step into my riding boots, placing my Louboutins in an oversized purse for later.
“Huh.” Rachel grins. “Big night?”
“I can’t do this anymore, I’m done. I’m taking my life back, Rachel. The pain is crushing me, and they-” I gesture to the door. “-can go straight to fucking hell. Let’s see how they like being left in the dark.”
“Good girl, but what about…” she gestures to my pendant and phone.
“Welll.” I drop my phone into the toilet, smiling, knowing that the burner cell in my bag is my real connection to the outside world. “Ooops.”
“And the pendant?”
“Oh, I have the perfect place for that to spend the night.” I smirk.
“Be safe, Lili.” She hugs me tightly. “You will be okay, baby girl.”