“A party?” Costin asks.
“Set it up. Mixer…” I laugh. “Every VIP has to bring a minimum of two guests. Show and tell night. No exceptions. Watch for them, boys.”
Chapter Ten
Costin
It’s been fifteen days since Jaxx decided it would be best for them to hide out in the penthouse while we figure this out. Fourteen days since Andrew went on a bender and demanded Jaxx leave her here and come home. Thirteen days since I’ve seen her, nine since she has answered one of my calls. Seven days since Jonah made his final public statement on their relationship, pulling back the last of the media harassing her. And Five days since any of us have been able to make it back up to stay with her. Five days, she has been completely isolated other than our general cleared security detail. Five days without much of an explanation because nothing can be said over the phone, and her father’s tendency to fuck and hurt women isn’t something she needs to worry about. Jaxx is with Andrew now that he is sober enough to function again, and now he wants his daughter home. Abel is supervising the cleanup, and that left me to retrieve the princess from the tower. We still have nothing… Douglass never graced us with his presence, and we can’t push him. It would set off too many alarms, and the couple would inevitably disappear. All we can do is wait him out. The photos tell part of the story; we need to get them away from him so we can get the rest.
I open the door to the penthouse, taking in the disarray. Boxes and shopping bags litter the floor. New purses, shoes, dresses, and jewelry cover every piece of furniture, and a lone white wedding dress hangs in the corner, shrouded in shadows. Walking through the room, I dash for the balcony when I hear the haunting music drift through the open doors as the curtains blow into the dark room. I freeze when I see her standing halfway up the railing and swaying slightly to the song. She’s low enough she can hold on but high enough to easily topple over the side.
“Princess?” I walk to her hesitantly, noticing the bottle dangling loosely from her fingers at her side.
“My knight has returned,” she replies without looking back. “Jonah’s new song… pretty, huh?”
“Sure is. Let’s get you down from there, okay?”
“You know, Costin, I really thought this would work. I thought we could make it out the other side together. Look around us-” She spins, her foot sliding, and I grab her seconds before she can topple over the railing.
“My God, Princess. You could have died.” I pull her to my lap on the ground, holding her tightly and shaking all over from the scare of nearly losing her.
“Yeah, suppose I could have.” She looks into my eyes, unaffected. She doesn’t even care. Have we broken her so completely? “Funny thing is I fought my way out of one prison less than a month ago, only to willingly lock myself into another. This place, this life… what is there to care about?”
I knew it. I saw the lie in her eyes back on that gravel road. However, I let her pretend, knowing she needed us to believe in her for her to believe in herself. I knew she would crack and that she was barely holding it together, but I didn’t know what else to do. I wanted to watch her, but again, other shit got in the way.
“What is there to care about, Princess? You don’t think you should care about yourself? What about us? Once this is all over, then we can have a real shot. I love you, Princess. Always have.” I lean in to kiss her.
“No!” She jumps up. “No. No. No! You can’t love me, Costin. I can’t.” She shakes her head vehemently, tears pouring down her cheeks. “I can’t betray Joshua like that. Don’t you get it? We can’t. Ever.”
“Princess, he knew-“
“I know he knew!” she shouts. “Trust me, I know. It haunted him. The night he died, he even told me that he knew a part of my heart was yours.” She sobs, dropping back to her knees but pushing away when I reach for her.
“Princess, let me help you.” Fuck, what did he say that caused her to feel so much guilt? She never cheated on him. Not my girl.
“No, Costin. You just don’t get it. You can’t help me. Not you. Not like that.” She grabs at her chest, digging into the delicate skin with her nails. “I can’t handle the guilt. It hurts too much. I have loved you nearly all of my life. I’ll never be able to stop. Never. I had to turn off half of my heart, ripping it in two, so that I could give myself to him. The beats of my heart may have been his, but the silences between… you filled those. I fell in love with you both, but I promised myself to him. I can’t just go back on that without spitting on everything I had with him. Because it doesn’t work like that. Now, I have Jaxx to consider, too. I won’t make him look like a fool. Not after everything.”
“So you think you deserve to be miserable and live the rest of your life without love? You aren’t in love with Jaxx, are you?” I ask, inching towards her on my knees.
“No, but that’s the point, isn’t it? I can’t betray Joshua if I’m not giving away the love I promised him. He is dead because of me.” She lifts the bottle from the ground, chugging the remainder of its contents before I can take it from her. “I don’t deserve to be happy, Cos. And I certainly don’t deserve to be loved.”
“And me?” I beg, devastated now knowing the true depth of her torment.
“I ruin everything and everyone I touch, brave knight.” She leans back against the wall, closing her eyes. “Haven’t you heard? I’m poison.”
She goes silent, seconds later succumbing to the alcohol. I lift her from the cold concrete, carrying her unconscious body to the bed, sitting and cradling her to my chest, and sob into her hair. My strong, brave Princess is far more broken than any of us realized, and we have failed to see it again.
I make the call to Jaxx, explaining a little of what I found here and refusing to bring her home like this. The media might have disbursed, but one photo of her unconscious, and new stories will circulate. She has been through enough. We both have. So, I am taking a night to hold the girl that I love and can’t have in my arms. She might be out cold, but I hope she can feel the love and safety I am blanketing her in and find a little peace tonight. I will free her from this hurt even if it kills me.
Eliana
I wake warm, held tightly in someone’s arms. Turning, I expect to see Jaxx and gasp when I am met with a set of deep brown eyes.
“Morning, Princess. How do you feel?”
I sit up quickly, “Holy shit, we didn’t…?” I lift the covers, sighing when I notice I am semi-dressed.
“No, I’ll try not to take offence to your relief. Am I so disgusting?” He chuckles when I smack him in the face with a pillow.
“Um, no. I suppose not, but I do prefer to remember the people I sleep with.” I laugh. Grabbing my head to stop the spinning, I ask, “When did you get here?”
“Yeah, you were pretty trashed last night, Princess-” he pulls me back to his chest and hands me a bottle of water and aspirin. “-near the bottom of the bottle. Care to explain?”
“Nope, I was just bored. Nothing to explain.” I stand, heading to the shower, and grab the open bottle from the side table. Lifting it up, I take two long swallows and set it back down. “Hair of the dog, yeah?”