“I’m sure, but Jonah?” I sniffle, trying to hide the fact that inside I am in total ruins. “Can you sing to me? Something… happy?”
“For the girl who thinks I’m dreamy? Anything.” He begins to sing, and I curl up on the closet floor, listening to him for what feels like hours until my tears have dried up and exhaustion wins out.
The next morning, I wake up to the sounds of Rachel ushering Nat and Isa from my room to catch their ride to the airport for a last hurrah before starting college... a freedom I will never have. I quickly tuck the photo into the back of my pants and clasp the bracelet around my wrist. Then I make my way into my room as if nothing has changed because I won’t make them shoulder this, too. It’s my burden to carry, alone.
Chapter Thirteen
Costin
Night after night, we watch. Night after night, we party. We wait. We play the roll we were groomed to fill. Finally, Douglass shows.
“How are you, Costin? Another beauty, I see.” Douglass gestures at the dark hair bobbing in my lap. I fucking hate this part of the game. I don’t want this girl, but it’s all part of the show.
“Always.” I laugh. “So, who did you bring tonight? Wouldn’t mind taking someone new for a spin.”
“Just you wait. They aren’t on the menu, per se, but they put on one hell of a performance. I don’t share, and the girl is still… intact.” He laughs.
“Intact?”
“A virgin… technically, but you and I both know there are plenty of other ways to enjoy a body like that. They are both delicious.” He nods in the direction of a beautiful young woman walking towards us, clinging to the hand of a lean, yet muscular guy. Both about my age and both scantily dressed. The kids from the photo.
Grinding my teeth, I take in a deep breath and attempt to tamp down my anger. They are adults now, but they have been with him for years. I can see it all in their eyes. How did this slip past us before? Have we always been so blind?
“Lilabelle. Kendrick. Show my friend Costin here what you can do. Dance for us.” Douglass motions to the corner for the music to start. “Now.”
Kendrick pulls her trembling body to his and whispers something into her hair then kisses her softly. Not sexually but comforting? Swaying to the music, they enchant the room with the most beautifully erotic dance I have ever seen. I have completely forgotten about the girl in my lap and knock her to the floor when I lean forward, watching only them. They are magic. Touching, caressing, and undressing each other as if they share one mind. Connected soul deep and only aware of each other, blocking out everything around them. I am in total awe until Douglass’ shout breaks the trance.
“On your knees, both of you!” they quickly kneel at his feet as he frees his pathetic excuse for a cock. “Suck me. Together.”
The man takes her hand, and they both lean forward, going to work on Douglass. After a few moments, he stands.
“Fuck her ass, Kendrick.” Douglass demands, and a single tear rolls down her cheek.
“You’re my girl, Lilabelle Fayre Maxfield. I am so sorry. You and me. Forever. I love you, Dame.” Kendrick whispers with a trembling chin before kissing her.
“Maxfield?” My eyes go wide. No, it couldn’t be. “Who-” but I am interrupted by shouts at the other end of the room.
Eliana
Night after night, I have sat alone. Night after night, I have nothing. No sunshine, no smiles, no laughter. Every emotion is painted on. My every move is faked. And I am done. In two days, I am set to wed Jaxx, and I have lost all hope of ever being free of my father’s lies. The truth may set me free, but too many of them want me locked away. I miss my time with Jonah… I miss my life before and hate this life enough to take my chances with what comes after.
Sliding my foot into my red Jimmy Choo peep toe, I turn to the mirror, taking in the thin girl staring back at me. She is beautiful. She is flawless. She is a mirage. She is destruction and chaos. She is poison. She is the ruin of all that is good.
“Who are you?” I take another long drink from the bottle dangling at my side as a single tear rolls down my cheek.
“I hate you! It’s all your fault!” I scream, throwing the heavy bottle at my trifold mirror and watching my reflection shatter before I crumble to the floor with a scream. The alcohol no longer dulls the pain. I am alone in my hell while everyone else moves on around me. The house is silent with the proof of that. I lean forward, picking up a large piece of broken mirror. I wonder if a girl without a beating heart can even bleed. Surely the blood no longer flows through my veins; it just sits stagnant as I am. I drag the rigid glass down my arm once, pausing when I hear laughter, and lean forward to glance out my window. Costin walks towards the kitchen door with his arm slung around yet another brunette. So it’s a party night, great. He looks up at my window, and our eyes connect briefly before I turn away. I can’t have him. Being with him is a betrayal to Joshua. So why shouldn’t Costin have her? I told him to find better.
I don’t even notice that I have dug the piece of glass deeper into my arm until I feel the warm blood dripping from my fingers. Fuck, looks like I do still bleed, but the giggling girl breaks the spell. Pissed off, I quickly grab a towel, wrap it around my arm, knotting it in place, and march from my room. Want to move on? Want to pretend that none of this has happened? Fine, but I am done letting them lock me away as if I don’t exist while they party below my feet. The faithful fiancée. The obedient daughter. It’s time they see what I’ve truly become. I’m already dressed for a night out. I guess the basement will do.
I walk into the main room and… gross… so many dicks. Old dicks, young dicks, fat dicks, thin dicks, lots of unimpressive dicks, and there are at least 3 girls for each one. This gets more disgusting every time. Holding my head high, I storm across the room, searching for the guys and growing colder with each step. This is what they left me for? This was more important than I was?
“Another one? Fuck this.” A brunette pushes me from behind. “I am not competing with this prissy ass slut for Costin’s attention. Andrew said he’s mine tonight.”
I turn, studying the girl, noticing our similarities. How often do they bring in girls that look like me?
“I said get out, skank!” She pushes me.
“Back the fuck up, bitch. Trust me, I wouldn’t kneel for any of these dudes. He’s yours. I just have some shit to handle, and I’m out.” I stand my ground.
She steps back like she is going to leave but spins, spitting on the front of my three thousand dollar Dolce and Gabbana mini dress, then jumps at me, knocking us both to the floor. As soon as we hit the ground, I roll out from under her, straddling her hips and throwing fist after fist until her struggles have slowed to nothing more than whimpered begs. Don’t start shit you can’t handle, bitch.
Standing up, I look down on her with a curled lip. “Now we don’t look anything alike. You’re welcome.”
Costin
“Who are-” I am interrupted by yelling at the other end of the room.
“Fuck!” Douglass yells as the girl clings to the man holding her. “There goes that. We’re out of here. They don’t perform in this kind of chaos. Call me when your shit is under control. Come on, we’ll finish this at home.” Douglass hands them both long coats and ushers them towards the stairs.