She applied concealer to my cheek and told the nurse I was a clutz when she asked about the mark on my face. I didn’t say a word the whole day and I avoided everyone’s eyes, even Cooper’s as we drove home in the car.
The next few days passed in a blur and I sat on my kindle or sat doodling or writing, anything to take my mind elsewhere.
Cooper’s gift was still in the bag from when I’d bought it. I hadn’t given it to him yet, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to. Every day I changed my mind, but I only saw him at meal times and most of the time Jan was with him, so I didn’t bother.
On New Year's Eve, I was sitting alone on the deck, wrapped up in a warm jacket and sipping a hot chocolate as I sat out in the light snow, enjoying the feel of the snowflakes as they touched my cheek. My back was almost completely healed, but my face had a tiny mark from the buckle of the belt.
“Hey,” Cooper’s voice broke the silence and made me jump.
I didn’t speak to him. I had nothing really to say and I was still hurt and angry with him.
He sat down across from me and sipped his coffee without a word. For a while, we sat in companionable silence, and then he turned to face me.
“I know I keep saying the same things, but I truly am sorry, Bails. I’m sorry you felt like you weren’t worth saving. I’m sorry I keep pulling you in and then pushing you away.”
I didn’t look at him as he spoke. I watched the snow landing on the frozen lake and he stood up and didn’t move for a moment.
“I wish I could change everything for you, but I need you to know that you are worth saving.”
With that, he turned and rushed back to the house.
That was the last interaction I had with him for weeks and I replayed it over and over in my head.
Zane came home in early January and it was freezing cold. School had been called off on more than one occasion through January and February because of the snow, but Coop and I were never alone for long. As the end
of February approached, Shawn whisked my mom off to Mexico for a romantic break for her birthday, and the three of us were left in icy conditions.
Zane had gone back to work, leaving Coop and me alone in the house for the first time. I was lying on my bed studying and Coop was in his room listening to music when a crash sounded downstairs. I ran out into the landing and was knocked on my ass by Cooper as he came out of his room.
“Sorry, Bails. Was that you?” he asked turning towards the stairs.
“No,” I murmured as I stood up and rubbed my ass. He moved towards the stairs as the house plunged into darkness. My squeak of surprise and racing heart sounded loudly in the sudden silence. Coop moved back towards me.
“Come with me,” Coop said, grasping my hand in his. His finger ran along the jagged scar on my hand and I shuddered. He led me past the stairs and opened a panel in the wall, pushing me in. It was pitch black and I couldn’t see a thing. He closed the panel over and moved around behind me in the darkness.
His whispered breath on my neck as he spoke quietly to me caused shivers to run up and down my spine.
“This is the first time since November we’ve been alone together. I think Phil’s come back to finish what he started.” His lips met my ear and my breathing sped up as his hand pressed on my stomach. He moved by me and I couldn’t think. It was too dark and being alone with Coop was dangerous.
He grabbed my hand and shushed me, leading me into more darkness. After a few minutes, he stopped walking and I slammed right into his back almost falling over. I hmphed as I fell backward but I didn’t hit the floor. Coop pulled me back up by the hand and when he let my hand go, I felt bereft and wanted the contact back straight away. In the darkness, I heard a door close and a lock twist, and my stomach twisted with desire and fear, desire for Coop, and fear for what was happening in the house.
I blamed the darkness for the desire that surged through me. He didn’t want me, I made him sick. As soon as that thought registered, my heart dropped. A small cellphone light lit up Coop’s face and his breathing was ragged. My eyes lingered on his and his hungry eyes drank me in like I was an oasis in the desert, as he moved slowly towards me.
“Come sit down.” I moved my eyes from his with effort as I glanced around the room we were in. The furniture was old-fashioned but looked comfortable enough. A huge couch sat in the corner, next to a boarded-up window. There was an antique-looking table in the corner, and an old-fashioned black telephone sitting atop it.
The other side of the room had old cabinets with photos behind the dusty glass. My whole body itched to go and explore, but my eyes went back to Coop who stood watching me with a small smile on his face. In his hand was a small bear that I instantly recognized. Louis bear, he’d repaired it for me.
My eyes filled up and I rushed towards him. I threw my arms around him, not caring for a moment about everything that had happened between us. His gesture touched every part of my heart and soul, and I shuddered as his lips pressed down onto my head. As his arms circled my waist, I wanted nothing more at that moment than to kiss him.
His head lifted as soon as I pulled my head out from under his chin, and he pressed his cheek to mine, whispering, “God, Bailey, I’ve missed touching you. I know I messed up badly, and what I said as I tried to fix it wasn’t right.” A loud crash sounding nearby stopped him, and I pulled him tighter.
“Are you sure we’re safe here?” I muttered against his chest as I listened to his heart, trying to calm my erratic breathing down.
“Yeah, babe, it’s fine. I called the cops when I heard the bang. They’re on their way and will be here in a few minutes.” I nodded against his chest, and he stepped backward and pulled me onto the couch beside him.
“Bailey, I…” Another crash made me jump, and he pulled me from the puffy cream and red couch onto his lap. His hand rubbed in rhythmic circles on my back and my eyes closed. I’d missed his touch more than I could say. The past few months had been lonelier than ever for me and I didn’t realize that day when he left my bathroom, he’d not want to be in the same room as me ever again. I’d thought we’d work it out, but he hadn’t even tried.
The thought of him not even trying made me sad, and my face tightened. His soft finger pressed under my chin, and he lifted my head, so my eyes met his. He sighed for a moment and then brought his lips to mine, pressing gently. Our breaths sped in unison as he held his lips there. He didn’t move them or try to do anything more.
My eyes closed as a cascade of emotions washed over me, but I opened my eyes in surprise when a drop of water hit my cheek. Coop’s face was scrunched up. I tried to move back, but his hand snaked up my back and held me there. His breathing became ragged and more tears hit my cheek. I didn’t know what to do, Coop hurting caused agony to shoot through me.
“Coop,” I whispered against his lips, tasting the saltiness of his tears. He breathed in a ragged breath and slipped his tongue into my mouth turning my head slightly to give him better access. His kiss was tense, passionate; he was holding back, and I didn’t know why.
I pulled away and his face crumpled. “I really did it, didn’t I?” My confusion rose to the surface and I lifted my hands to his face. He couldn’t even look at me.