‘I’m just obeying orders,’ he says, fluttering his eyelids in an attempt to look virtuous.
‘We’ve another gig tomorrow but I said you could go for one drink.’
‘I know. I just need my beauty sleep.’
‘Is that so?’ I give him a sideways look. This is the first glimpse I’ve had of his sense of humour and for some reason, it surprises me. What else do I need to know other than how his muscles make his T-shirt strain and how his intense brown eyes can cause a lower-abdominal stir in the back of a crowded auditorium?
‘Do you always go home alone?’ he asks.
‘That’s a bit personal.’
He laughs softly. ‘I don’t mean like that. I meant … don’t you mind wandering the streets by yourself at this hour?’
‘I’m used to it.’
‘I get it. It’s the twenty-first century, you’re a modern, independent woman who doesn’t need a chaperone—’ I cut him off with a warning glance and he holds his hands up in surrender. ‘All I’m saying is I might appreciate someone walking me home at night. That guy with the smoothie the other day was pretty dodgy-looking.’
Nice backtracking.
‘If you’re feeling vulnerable, I’d be happy to walk you home.’ I humour him even though he’ll be out until all hours having fun with the rest of them in no time at all, once he realises his soon to be acquired ‘minor celebrity status’.
‘You did well tonight,’ I say. He did too. I must admit I was on tenterhooks putting him up there after only one rehearsal. He only danced to one track – right at the end – but I was nervous as heck as he went on stage. I needn’t have worried: the crowd seemed to love him.
‘Thanks, Kat. When I saw all those screaming women, I was terrified going out there.’
‘Those YouTube videos have really paid off,’ I tease.
We walk in silence for a little while, and I ease into the feeling of having company on a walk I’m so used to doing alone. My ears still have a soft ringing in them from the loud music of the show, so it feels good to let them recover.
‘So, Kat, how come you’re not out hitting the bars and chatting up the fellas?’ Jay asks unexpectedly. Initially, I bristle, then relax. Somehow, his northern accent – he’s from Manchester, I think – makes him sound friendly and cheeky rather than too direct. Besides, he doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know this is a topic that’s not up for discussion.
‘I’m here to focus on the business. There isn’t time for much else, and I have my work cut out playing mum to the guys. Do you know I had to show some of them how to use a laundrette?’
Jay shakes his head and laughs softly.
‘I can’t really be doing with another man in my life,’ I say honestly.
Fair enough,’ he says.
‘So what brings you to Tenerife anyway? The world-class entertainment?’ I ask, glad to get the focus off me.
‘Nah, I’m just here for the career prospects.’
I look at him with a raised eyebrow.
‘To be honest, I’m here for a quiet life. I didn’t have all that much to stay in the UK for, and I love the sunshine, the dancing and the buzz of being on stage. During the day, I’m happy just reading by the pool. Boring really, aren’t I?’ He laughs.
I smile. ‘Only as boring as me.’
We arrive at the budget apartment complex that we use as our base here in Tenerife.
‘Right, see you tomorrow for the Los Christianos gig,’ I say.
‘Night, Kat.’
When I get inside, I slump on the bed and soak up the thick silence. My stomach churns with unease. I haven’t thought about him in a very long time and I don’t know if I want to pace around the room or crawl under the covers and hide. After all these years, how can he still have this effect on me?
***
The warmth of love is consuming. My muscles absorb it. It courses through my veins, soaks into my bones and fills up any hollow cavities it can find. It’s all-encompassing as I lie here with Iain beside me. I’m safe. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Even though he can be a bit possessive and sometimes I sense a hidden darkness in him, a mood that he doesn’t share, I know it’s his insecurity. He worries he’ll lose me, that’s all, and that’s normal, isn’t it? It just means he loves me and that’s a wonderful feeling.
I understand his fear. I spent so much time feeling like I wasn’t good enough for him that I know what he’s going through. This is love and our love is so strong that the fear of losing one another is too. I almost hyperventilate when I think about losing Iain, so I know exactly how he feels. Once we’re married and he knows I’m his forever, he’ll calm down.
***
I sit bolt upright. Sweat is trickling down my head. I check the time and it’s just after four. I get up and flick on the air-con before getting back into bed. After all these years, Iain is still in my head and I’m annoyed with myself. My marriage ended over eight years ago. Since then I’ve picked myself up, moved away, built a business and I don’t rely on anyone. I like being in charge of the Hunks. It gives me the confidence to be able to be around hot men without feeling inferior – if anything, mothering them makes me feel stronger. I’ve come such a long way since Iain and thinking about him makes my scalp prickle. He doesn’t deserve a place in my memories.
When I push aside thoughts of Iain, I find myself thinking back to the conversation I had with Jay. It felt weird to be asked about dating twice in one day. It’s been just me for so long and everyone who knows me understands that. I get that Jay is new and I shouldn’t read anything into it, but I can’t help but wonder if he thinks I’m broken. It’s not like I’ve actively avoided men, not in recent years anyway; I’ve just been happy in my own company and haven’t really looked. Nor have I been found.
Eventually, after much tossing and turning, I manage to drift off.
Chapter 5
After the show in Los Christianos, we head to an Indian restaurant for some much-needed post-show sustenance. When the food arrives and we’re happily tucking in, Jay taps his glass to get everybody’s attention. It seems a bit formal and I notice Ant and Marcus raise their eyebrows in surprise. It’s a far cry from the shouting over one another that we’ve become accustomed to.
‘I just wanted to say how grateful I am to you all for welcoming me into the Hunks and making me feel so comfortable, especially you, Kat.’ There are murmurs of ‘no worries’ and ‘great to have you on board’ from full mouths all around the table.
Jay sips his beer. ‘I’m curious, how did you all come to be in the Heavenly Hunks? I saw you guys at the hotel the other night and pretty much chased Kat down the street, but what are your stories?’
‘When I first landed in Tenerife, I met Kat in Andrea’s bar – where we do our rehearsals – when I’d gone in looking for work,’ Paul says. ‘Phil and I moved here because we fancied a new life in the sun, and I thought that with my acrobatics skills I’d get a job performing. Andrea told me, rather bluntly, that she already had a DJ and crappy entertainment wasn’t her thing. She didn’t even watch me perform.’ Everyone snickers. ‘Kat was working in the bar there and overheard. She looked me over and said she had an idea. Hugo used to be a stripper and Andrea had let him perform a few times – Kat thought the three of us could put together an exotic dance act that was part brawn, part talent. She said something like “think the Chippendales meets Diversity with a dash of Bruno Mars”. We did small gigs for a while and built up a bit of a following. Then Marcus joined us and we started to really get the crowds going.’