Her lips pressed against mine, hard, cutting off my words.
“You jackass,” she whispered, easing back just a breath so her words tickled my lips. “I’ve been going out of my mind the last three days, stressing over whether or not that girl was pregnant and the fact you clearly didn’t want to have children with me.”
Another wave of guilt slammed into me, and I tried to reach for her, only my damn arms were pinned above my head. “If I could have kids, angioletto, I would only want to have them with you. I should have made that clear. I just...”
“You were just being an idiot.”
I drew a breath. “Yeah.” As we stared at each other in silence, my heart beat faster. “You’re not mad?”
“Oh, I’m plenty mad. I’m mad that you thought avoiding me was the best way to deal with this. I’m mad that you didn’t tell me all this sooner. And I’m especially mad because we could have been having no-condom sex a hell of a lot earlier than we were. What were you thinking?”
A relief I didn’t deserve whipped through me, dragging my eyes closed. “Why the hell are you so easy on me?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because I love you.”
I blinked and looked up at her. “Are you really okay with the fact I can’t give you children?”
“Luc.” Her fingertips skimmed my jaw. “I never even thought about having kids before I met you. My parents weren’t exactly the greatest role models. They were selfish and self-absorbed, and I was a burden most of the time. If I thought about kids since meeting you, it’s only because you have all the traits that would make a great father.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is. You’re kind and loving, patient and protective.”
“And a jackass, as you pointed out.”
One side of her lips curled. “That too. But I don’t need kids to be happy. I just need you. And I need you to let me in, because if you keep holding back and pushing me away every time something comes up, we’re never going to make it.”
“No one knows, Natalie.” Emotions I didn’t understand overwhelmed me, and my eyes burned with a familiar sting, making me close them all over again. “My family, my House... None of them know I’m sterile. I’m expected to produce heirs. Things could get sticky if they found out. When they find out.”
Because I knew they would. Eventually. When years went by and Natalie never wound up pregnant, they’d start to get curious.
“We’ll deal with that when and if it happens.”
I didn’t know how that would work. But I didn’t want to think about that right now.
I blinked damp lashes up at her. “I should have realized what you were worried about. I’m sorry I didn’t.” My throat grew thick, but I forced myself not to look away. “That girl’s not pregnant. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want any of...”
The words dried up in my mouth.
“I know.” She leaned close and pressed her lips to mine again, brushing her soft breasts against my chest in the process. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“I don’t know how. Talking to you about it makes me feel... vulnerable. And I don’t want to be vulnerable with you. I want to be strong so you always know I can protect you, because I will.”
“I already know that, Luc.”
“Knowing and believing are two different things. What you saw changes—”
“Look at me.” She tipped my chin up so our eyes were level. “What I saw changes nothing. What they did or say or will ever do still changes nothing. I know exactly who and what you are. You are strong. You are resilient. You are honorable, and you are faithful.”
Her words were like daggers stabbing straight into my chest, because I didn’t see myself as any of those things. Maybe once, but not now. And the fact she still saw me that way... It squeezed my chest so tight, it hurt to draw air.
Unable to keep looking into her sweet blue eyes, I let mine drift closed and breathed through the pain, knowing if I didn’t, in a minute I wouldn’t be able to hold back the waterworks.
“No, look at me.”
She tipped my chin up higher, forcing me to open my eyes. And I blinked through blurry vision and watched as she smiled down at me.
“You’re also mine,” she whispered. “Which means the only person in the world you have to answer to is me. And I promise you this. If you try to pull away from me, for whatever reason, just know I’ll drag you right back, each and every time. Even if I have to handcuff you to do it.”
My heart felt as if it might burst right out of my chest. I was nothing. I had nothing to offer her, not even the possibility of a family down the line, and yet, she still loved me. She still wanted me.
I didn’t understand why, but I was too weak to fight it. I needed her. I needed her strength and her love, and I needed her to save me. To go on saving me, just as she’d done since the first moment I’d met her.
“I love you.” Blinking against the wetness, I lifted my head and captured her lips. “I’m an idiot who loves you. Don’t give up on me, angioletto. Please don’t give up on me.”
“I won’t.” Her fingertips slid across my jaw, and her lithe body pressed into mine as she kissed me. “I promise I never will.”
I groaned as she slid her tongue into my mouth, and when I tasted her and all her succulent heat surrounded me, I felt as if my soul was coming to life. As if my mind was finally clear. As if she was the key not only to my sanity, but to my very being. And I wondered how the hell I could have ever thought staying away from her would ever make things better.
She tipped her head and deepened the kiss, and when her hard little nipples behind the thin T-shirt scraped my bare chest, all the blood in my brain shot straight into my groin. The only thing I wanted was to bury myself deep inside her where nothing mattered but us.
“Unhook my arms,” I whispered against her lips, not wanting to stop kissing her, even for a second. “I want to touch you.”
Her lips curled against mine, then she pressed a hand against my chest and eased back, grinning down at me with a mischievous look I couldn’t define.
“Uh-uh.”
“What do you mean, uh-uh?”
“There’s one other thing we need to address before I let you go.”
She climbed off me and moved around the bed in the dark. I couldn’t see what she was doing, but a shuffling sound echoed through the room, and when she climbed back on the bed, she held a rectangular box in her hands.
“What’s going on?” I asked cautiously as she straddled my boxers and her steamy heat pressed against my already throbbing erection.
She set the box on the bed near my hip, but I couldn’t tell what was in it in the dark, and her expression gave nothing away. “Do you remember our first night together in Rome?”
“Yeah,” I said warily, wondering where she was going with this.
“Do you remember what you told me before you touched me?”
Fuck. She was thinking back to that conversation. When I’d told her I was a beast. I didn’t want to talk about that now. “I—”
My words faltered when she tugged my T-shirt up and over her head, then tossed it on the ground, leaving her wearing nothing but her succulent skin, not even the silk panties I knew she’d been wearing earlier.