“I know you don’t.” I closed my eyes, trying not to let myself feel like the jerk that I was. “It’s really the other way around. Before I met you, my life was a bit monotonous. I didn’t do much more than work. I was lonely but I didn’t know how much I was missing until I saw you in the park.”
How could I get what I wanted without saying too much? John encouraged me to express myself but it was difficult when I couldn’t tell the whole truth.
“Is that why you hold back?”
“What do you mean?”
“Sometimes I think you’re protecting yourself from me, I don’t know.” She shrugged. “You’re guarded. Almost like you’re hiding something. Like you don’t trust me.”
Shit!
“You’re entitled to your secrets, Xavier, but I want you to know nothing you tell me about your past will make me judge you. I see who you are and I like what I see.”
“I never thought this life, the one I’m building with you and Zoey, was meant for someone like me. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve any of this but being deserving never stopped me from going for what I wanted before. I want you and I want this life. I hope that I can prove that I’m worthy of it. I want to be worthy of you and Zoey.”
“You’re so worthy of all of this.” She climbed into my lap, straddling me. “You’re everything I ever imagined in a man. You’re kind and gentle.” She kissed my jaw, brushing her lips down to my throat. “You’re always there when I need you.” She unbuttoned my shirt, continuing to kiss my neck and chest. “You’re sexy and passionate.”
“What are you doing?” I grabbed her hand when she reached for my belt buckle.
“Something for you.” She gazed up at me with her wide, suggestive eyes. “Let me.”
“What about Zoey?” I nodded in the direction of the foyer.
“She’s a very sound sleeper.”
“Ah…” I rested my head on the back of the sofa when she unbuckled my belt and kissed my stomach.
12
Xavier
“Find out what’s going on with Stan and this bid. Something doesn’t feel right.”
I ended the call with my associate. There was a reason Stan was holding back and I needed to know if it was a valid one. He wasn’t the sharpest when it came to deals, especially not one this big. If he knew something that was crucial to the property and decided to back out, I wanted that information. I had to explore every angle.
“X, I saw your car from the window!” Zoey said when she opened the door. “You’re here.”
“Yes, I am.” I crouched down and waited for her to hug me. She didn’t disappoint. She launched herself into my arms and wrapped hers around my neck. If I could start every day this way…
“You’re never here before school.” She let go of me. “Are you taking me to school? Can I go in your car?”
“Zoey?” Kara coughed as she came to the door. “X, what are you doing here?”
“In your text this morning, you said you weren’t feeling well.” She didn’t look healthy. Her hair was piled in a messy bun on top of her head, her nose was red, and she had dark circles under her eyes. “I came to check on you.”
“That’s sweet but I don’t want you to get sick.” She waved to Alec. “I called out of work. I’m achy and feverish. I’m going to take Zoey to school, hit the store for some soup and juice, and then I’ll try to get a few hours of rest in before I have to pick her up.”
“None of that’s going to happen.”
I always had an appreciation for single moms because I watched my mother do a fantastic job with my brother and I. It wasn’t always easy for her. Kara didn’t have to have it so hard. I could ease the burdens.
“I’ll take Zoey to school.”
“I’ll go with X!” Zoey ran into the house. “I’ll get my backpack.”
“I’d kiss you right now but…”
“I understand.” I laughed. “I’ll come back after I drop her off. I’ll stop by the store and get what you need. Just text me your list.”
“You don’t even do your own grocery shopping.”
“It doesn’t mean I can’t find my way around the store. I’m an educated man.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” She coughed again, trying to suppress it. “Ouch, my chest hurts.”
“Go back to bed.”
“You don’t have to come back.”
“Do you need me?”
“Always.” She leaned against the doorframe, hardly able to stand. Even in her current state, she was still the most alluring woman I’d ever met.
“Then I’ll be back.” I waved Alec over. “He can get the booster seat out of your car and put it in mine.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m ready!” Zoey joined me on the porch, her coat hanging off her shoulders and her shoes untied.
“Oh, baby.” Kara looked her over before kissing her forehead. “You’re a mess.”
“I got it.” I kissed Kara’s warm cheek, pressing my palm to her face. She had a fever and a nasty cold. “Go back to bed.”
“I will, thank you.”
“Bye bye, Mama.” Zoey waved to Kara. “Hi, Alec! I’m going in the car with you.”
“That’s wonderful, Z,” Alec said. “What can I do?”
“Can you get her booster seat out of Kara’s car?” I asked.
“Sure.”
While Alec transferred the car seat, I tied Zoey’s shoes and adjusted her jacket. “That’s better,” I said as I zipped her up. “Now you’re not disheveled.”
“That means I’m a hot mess.”
“Disheveled sounds better, don’t you think?” I took her backpack from her and held her hand as we walked to the car.
“You never look disheveled.” She skipped down the walkway. “How come?”
“I don’t know.” I helped her into the car, admiring how perceptive she was. “I’m careful about the way I look in public.”
“Oh.” She climbed into her seat and buckled herself in. “What does public mean?”
“Where people can see me.” Although, not many people saw the real me. “I’m glad I get to take you to school today.”
I made sure she was secure in the seat. Not that I was happy that Kara wasn’t feeling well but being able to take Zoey to school was one of those things I didn’t know I wanted to do until I actually did it. I found that about almost everything we did together. There were many firsts and not just with Zoey. Kara was showing me a whole new world.
“Me too.” She waved to Kara who still stood on the porch, waiting for us to leave. “Dads take kids all the time.”
“To school?”
She nodded.
“You’re lucky because you have your mom to take you every day.”
“Do you keep secrets?”
“What do you mean?” Kid, if you only knew.