I get a pang in my heart when I say that. That’s exactly how I described Duke’s.
Christ, I’m even going to miss his ass breath.
Emma gives me a small smile as she sits up and rubs her eyes, but when she looks down beside her, where Duke slept in-between us last night, her face drops. It’s at that moment I know she’s just remembered he’s gone. That sleep induced haze is something I’m familiar with. When you first wake and for a brief moment, everything seems right with the world, then realization seeps in and the pain in your chest returns. I live this every day.
Leaning in, I envelop her in my arms. “They’re downstairs ready to take him, I thought you’d want to say goodbye.”
“Please.”
Standing, I reach for her hand. After helping her up, I place a kiss on her forehead. I’ll give you a few moments to change. We’ll be downstairs when you’re ready.”
“Thank you.”
There’s trepidation on her face as she descends the last few steps. Crossing the room, I meet her halfway, taking her hand in mine.
Duke’s now been moved onto the stretcher, the blanket still covers him, and the rose Rhonda had when she arrived is lying on top.
Emma’s hand comes to her mouth as soon as she spots him. Releasing me, she moves in his direction. All eyes are on her as she gets down on her knees, slowly pulling the blanket back. Tears are streaming from her eyes as she stares down at him.
“Oh, Duke… baby,” I hear her say as her shoulders shake. “I’m going to miss you so much. Thank you for allowing me to love you and for loving me back. I’ll never forget you. Never. Your paw print will forever remain on my heart. Fly high, my sweet boy.”
My gaze moves up to the ceiling as I try to blink the moisture from my eyes. When I look over at Chance, I see him run the back of his hand over his face.
“You need to do something about the damn bugs in here, Barclay. One just flew in my eye.”
Shaking my head, I release a small laugh.
Bug, my ass.
When she recovers him and stands, I move to her side and pull her into me. “Are you okay?” It’s a stupid question.
She nods nevertheless, wiping her eyes.
My little warrior.
I offer to help Rhonda with Duke, and Chance moves closer to Emma, wrapping her in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Em,” Chance says. “I know how close you two were.”
There’s a heavy feeling in my chest as Duke leaves this house for the last time. Things won’t be the same around here without him.
“Here, drink this,” I say to Emma, placing two-fingers scotch in front of her. She doesn’t hesitate in picking it up and bringing it to her lips. She downs most of it in one gulp before banging on her chest and coughing.
“Yuk. That’s awful.”
“It’s a five hundred dollar bottle of scotch, Emma. You’re supposed to sip it.”
“Five hundred dollars… for that? Well, they certainly saw you coming. Tastes like gasoline.”
Grayson and I both laugh. I guess it’s an acquired taste.
It’s late afternoon, and I asked Carla to bring over some clothes for Emma. I offered to take her there myself, but she said she didn’t feel like leaving the house. I can understand that. She’s been quiet all today, and I’m worried about her.
Carla’s eyebrows pinch together as she studies Emma. She’s concerned as well. Standing, she swipes the bottle and picks up Emma’s glass. “Let’s go sit by the pool, Em.”
I’m glad she’s here. I’m not good with shit like this.
“Make sure she takes it easy with that, she hasn’t eaten all day,” I call out as they leave the room.
I made her breakfast and lunch, but she just pushed the food around her plate. She’ll be eating dinner, even if I have to feed her myself.
“You two seem to be going well,” Grayson says.
I shrug. “I like having her around.”
“I’m glad. Despite what you think, Ash, you deserve happiness.”
“We’re just friends.”
“Right.” He rolls his eyes. “You’re more than friends, Barclay. You like her. When are you going to admit it?”
“We’re friends, and I like you. No difference.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “It’s been years since I’ve seen you this happy. Don’t fuck this up by getting inside your own head. She’s good for you.”
“Can we talk about something else?”
“Sure, and only because of the dog. I’m not going to let you ruin this.”
Grayson knows me better than anyone, I’ll fuck it up eventually. It’s what I do. Right now, though, I’ve experienced enough loss for one day. I don’t want to think about losing Emma too.
“You didn’t tell Carla about us buying their apartment block, did you?”
“No, you asked me not to.”
“Good. Keep it that way. Emma will be angry if she finds out, and I don’t want her to be upset with me.”
“Because you like her.” Grayson cocks an eyebrow, but I ignore him. “I still can’t believe we bought that shit hole.”
I shrug. To be honest, I can’t believe it either, but it’s a small price to pay for peace of mind.
“Shit,” Carla says, giggling when she trips on the door runner and comes stumbling into the house. She sways as she regains her footing and looks over at us. “I need to use the bathroom.”
“Christ, woman, are you drunk?” Grayson asks.
Carla holds up her thumb and forefinger, faintly opening them. “Just a smidge.”
He chuckles as he stands. “Here, let me show where it is before you fall over and break something.”
When he lifts her, throwing her over his shoulder, she squeals. He strides across the room, and I head out the back to check on Emma.
I find her on unsteady feet as she tries to make her way inside. “Ah, I was just coming to find you,” she says, slurring. Hiccup.
Taking a seat, I pull her down onto my lap. “How much did you drink?” I eye the bottle on the table and see it’s empty. Fuck. “I need to get some food into you.”
“I don’t want food,” she says, turning around to straddle my legs. “I want a kiss.” Hiccup.
When she closes her eyes and puckers her lips, I smile.
Hiccup.
I brush my mouth with hers, and she screws up her face opening one eye.
“That kiss sucked, I want a big smoocharoo.”
“A smoocharoo?”
“I think it’s Australian slang.” Hiccup. “I’ve heard Chance ask Aubrey for a smoocharoo before.” Hiccup. “You know the kind of kiss that makes your toes curl?”
“I’m not sure if I’m capable of a toe-curling kiss.”
“Yes, you are, Mr. Barclay.” She pokes my chest. Hiccup. “You’ve curled my toes several times.”
“Is that so?”
Drunk Emma is cute.
“Ah-huh.” She stares at me for a moment before she runs her hands down the side of my face. “Do you know how sexy you are?” Hiccup. “Like seriously off-the-charts sexy. Actually, you’re more than sexy, you’re smexy.” Hiccup.