“God, God.” Heath stood up again and paced. “I knew something had happened, but I didn’t want to believe it. And to get me out of going to prison?” He whirled on Rose, his face so stark, so grief-stricken, that it made Rose’s heart bleed. “I would’ve rather gone to prison than to have had that happen to you.”
“How could I? You had your entire future ahead of you. You were so close to becoming a teacher, and then you were arrested for a crime you didn’t even commit! You took care of me for our whole lives; you gave up so much for me. How could I not have done the same?”
Heath just shook his head. Finally, after a long moment of silence, he asked, “What does Johnny want now? And why haven’t you gone to the police?”
She explained that she’d saved enough money to pay Johnny back, and that she hadn’t gone to the police because she knew very well there was nothing they could do. And it would hurt Heath if it got out that he’d been arrested on drug charges.
“Rose, are you insane? He could hurt you again, or worse, kill you!” He pulled his phone from his back pocket. “I’m calling Caleb to tell him what’s really going on—”
“No, you can’t!” She grabbed his phone. “Please, don’t. I’ll make this all end. You’ll see. And then he’ll be out of our lives forever.”
“Oh, Rose,” Heath said with a head shake. “You can’t still be this naïve. You know what guys like that will do. His word isn’t worth anything.”
She knew that. She knew that. But what did he want her to do? If she went to the police, she’d have to tell them all about Johnny’s abuse. And then what? It would be a case of he said, she said. Johnny had enough friends in high places that any charges like that against him would be quickly swept under the rug.
Rose wasn’t naïve—not anymore. She knew this was her last opportunity to put an end to all of this.
Maybe that was why she carried a gun; she’d always known this would end with either getting Johnny to see sense or defending herself against the man who would never stop hunting her.
“Just trust me,” she said, gazing into her brother’s eyes. “That’s all I’m asking. I told you about all this because I wanted you to know.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I love you, Heath. You’re my brother. I’d do anything for you.”
He sighed and pulled her into a tight hug. She buried her face in his shoulder, soaking his shirt with her tears.
“I love you. God, this was why you disappeared for those years? When you wouldn’t talk to me? I should’ve known. Hell, I think I did know. I just didn’t want to believe it.” He gripped her tighter. “If anyone was a coward, it was me.”
“You? No. I wouldn’t let you find me. I knew you were looking for me. You never gave up, did you?”
His smile was twisted. “No, I didn’t. And when you finally called me and said you’d move here…” He rested his chin on the top of her head. “I was happier than I’d ever been in my life.”
“I’m sorry I ran away from you. I was ashamed.”
He sighed. “Then from now on, I’ll carry that shame for you. It should be my burden to bear, not yours.”
“No, it’s not your burden, and it’s not mine.” She wiped her eyes, sniffling. “The person who should be judged is Johnny. He’s the reason for all of this. He’s hurt so many people. Don’t take the shame that should be his and make it yours.”
That made Heath smile sadly. “When did you become so wise?”
“I had to grow up to survive.”
He flinched, and she wished she hadn’t said that. But it was true: although she’d been almost twenty-one, she’d still been so young and sheltered when she’d met Johnny. She’d been ripe for the plucking, and Johnny had known.
Men like him always knew.
“I hate that you felt like you couldn’t tell me,” Heath said as they sat back down on the couch. “I want you to know you can always come to me about anything.”
She felt so drained that she could sleep for the rest of her life, but her confession had helped the shadows recede somewhat. They would never go away—she knew that. Yet having someone to talk to helped her more than she could’ve realized.
She leaned her head against Heath’s shoulder. “Anything? Even if I want to join a traveling circus?”
“Do those still exist?”
“I think so. I’m not sure what I’d be, though. Trapeze artist? Lion tamer?”
“How about you stay here in Fair Haven and try out some other job that’s a little less dangerous?”
She nodded, yawning. They sat companionably for a little while longer. She’d missed this with Heath, and during the years when she’d avoided him, she’d thought about him constantly. If he was happy; if he hated her for running from him. She’d expected him to hate her still when she’d moved to Fair Haven, but she was glad to have been wrong.
“I didn’t tell you this, but when I was at Caleb’s birthday party last weekend, Caleb let something slip about his brother.”
Rose stilled. “Which one?”
“I’m sure you can guess. He said that sometimes they all feel like Seth is a stranger, since he’s been gone for so many years. But he thinks that the reason Seth hasn’t wandered off again is not because of the family, but because of someone else.”
“Oh?”
“What I’m trying to say and doing horribly at is: that if you care about Seth…” Heath swallowed, clearly uncomfortable now. “You shouldn’t let him go. Don’t let Johnny win, Rosie. He isn’t worth it.”
She didn’t know what to say to that. She was surprised that Heath would say anything positive about Seth. Hadn’t he warned her away from him more than once?
As if he’d read her mind, his mouth twisted into a smile. “I know. I told you to watch out for those Thorntons. Maybe my own bias was getting in the way because you’re my sister. Can you blame me?”
“Maybe.” She sighed. “I don’t know if I am brave enough,” she admitted.
Heath jostled her shoulder. “Of course you are. You’re the bravest person I know. If there’s a way, you’ll find it. I believe it.”
She smiled. She hoped she could find the same confidence in herself as Heath had.
Chapter Fourteen
That night, Rose lay in her nest of blankets with Callie and thought. She thought about everything she’d told Heath, and everything he’d told her.
You can’t let fear rule your life.
Those words thrummed in her mind like a single chord of music. She stroked Callie as she thought, and considered, and finally, made a decision.
She knew very well it wouldn’t be as easy as letting go and dusting her hands of everything that had happened. But that didn’t mean she should stay in a kind of stasis, either.
If she didn’t push herself to move forward, no one would.
It was close to midnight. She wondered if Seth was asleep, but then she heard the creak of footsteps next door.
The universe was giving her a sign, that was for sure.