I shake my head. “That’s not going to work.”
“Why not?”
“We’re too obvious,” I tell him. “Jai…kotya…when you’re in the room I can’t keep my eyes off you. It’s all I can do not to reach out and touch you.”
Jai nods, letting out a loud sigh. “Okay, so what are we going to do then.”
“The best thing is probably for you to go back to the States until this is all sorted out. We could say you’ve gone home for the holiday season—it wouldn’t raise any suspicions.”
“You want me to leave?”
The hurt in his voice and on his face makes my heart break. All I can do is wrap my arms around him and try to reassure him. “No. God, no. I want you here with me. I want to see you every day, and sleep next to you every night.” I nuzzle against his hair, breathing in his scent. “I want to touch you, and kiss you, and make love to you. But we can’t. Not while this is being worked out. Too many people already know, and too many more will figure it out.” I draw back so I can look him in the eyes, my thumb coming up to brush over his cheek. “Kotya, if the wrong person found out about us…”
His eyes fall closed and he nods, the sigh that escapes his lips is one full of regret. “I know.”
I press a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you. I promise, we’ll be together again—when it’s safe.”
Veronika organizes Jai’s flights home for the next day, and I spend the night in his bed memorizing every single inch of his body, knowing it will be at least six weeks before I get to touch him again. Six weeks. It might not seem like it, but it’s a long fucking time. Six weeks ago I couldn’t even begin to fathom how deep my feelings for this man would grow. Now I can’t imagine my life without him.
The next six weeks are going to be pure torture.
19
JAI
There’s no nervous anticipation during my flight back to the States like there was when I travelled to Korova four months ago. All I feel now is hollow and wrung out. There’s a tense knot in the pit of my stomach and I don’t know what the hell to do with it. All I want is to be by Lukas’s side, hold his hand, wrap my arms around him, comfort him as he tries to deal with yet another betrayal by his asshole father, this one from beyond the grave. But I can’t.
Crawling out from the comfort of his arms this morning, knowing it was the last time I’d feel them wrapped around me for at least a month and a half, was seriously one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. I decided not to wake him, knowing that would only make my leaving harder, and instead quickly dressed, packed a suitcase, and confirmed my flight details with Veronika.
Lukas had suggested I take the royal jet, but if there was anything that would tip off the gossipy reporters that there was more to our relationship, it was me being flown back to the U.S. in the comfort of the king’s personal plane. Veronika was at least able to get me a direct flight this time, and a business class ticket. She seemed genuinely upset about the situation, and I was glad to see Lukas has such loyal people in his corner. At least if I can’t be around, he still has people he can count on.
When I arrive in New York, I don’t even hesitate before getting into a cab and giving the address for Blake and Owen’s Greenwich Village brownstone. I try to call Owen from the cab but it goes straight to voicemail, telling me he’s likely at work. It’s late afternoon so I’m assuming Blake will be around, and if not, well, I guess I’ll just park myself on the front steps and wait. It’s not like I need to be anywhere…
When the cab pulls up at the address I’ve given, I lug my case out of the trunk and haul it up the front steps of the beautiful townhouse. After a minute of waiting, Blake answers my ring, his eyes widening when he sees me standing on the doorstep. “Jai?”
“Can I crash here for a bit?” I ask miserably. “I really don’t want to go to my parents’.”
“Yeah, of course. No problem at all.” He steps back and gestures for me to come inside. And wow, the pictures Owen sent of this place definitely did not do it justice. It’s absolutely stunning. And huge.
And that’s coming from someone who’s just spent almost four months living in a freakin’ palace.
“O’s at work, but come on in, I’ll show you to your room.”
Blake leads me down the pristine hallway, past the staircase that looks like it goes up about four or five flights, and to the doors of an elevator. My brows shoot up. Owen told me this place had an elevator, but I hadn’t entirely believed him.
We alight at the fourth floor and Blake ushers me along the hallway toward one of the bedrooms. “Here we go.”
My eyes widen when I step inside, seeing a familiar bed and comforter set, plus my old bookshelves with all my books on them, as well as my desk. “This is all my stuff from our old apartment,” I say, referencing the place Owen and I used to share. I cast Blake a wry smile. “What happened, Mr. Moneybags? Dip in the market?”
He lets out a soft laugh. “Owen thought you might need a place to stay when you’re in New York, so he set this up for you. If you’d like to redecorate, just say the word.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”
He nods and turns to leave, pointing to another door down the hall. “Bathroom’s through there, and I’ll be downstairs if you need anything. Owen should be home in a couple hours, unless there’s a big emergency he needs to stay for.”
I nod, repeating, “Thanks.”
I dump my suitcase and make a beeline for the bathroom Blake mentioned, stripping off and standing under the steaming hot spray of the huge walk-in shower.
I’m able to wash off the grossness that’s settled after the plane trip, but the shower does nothing to help me relax. I’ve become too used to showering with Lukas lately; it hasn’t been every morning, but it’s ben often enough that the association’s been made, and all I can think is that this shower is far too big for just one person.
When I get out of the shower, I wrap a towel around my waist and go in search of my phone. It’s around midnight in Korova so I figure Lukas will still be awake, but done with work for the day.
“I was just about to call you,” he says after answering on the first ring.
“Yeah?”
“Mmm…I saw your flight land over an hour ago. I was getting worried.”
A smile stretches across my lips and warmth fills me at the thought of him watching the flight tracker on the airline’s website to see the moment I’d landed safely. “I wanted to get settled in at Owen and Blake’s first. Sorry for making you worry.”
“You’re forgiven.”
I can see the stubborn jut of his jaw in my mind and I’m filled with an overwhelming sense of longing. “God, I miss you. I wish I was there with you.”
“What would we be doing if you were here?” he asks, his voice a sexy purr.
“Your Majesty,” I exclaim, putting on an affronted tone, “are you suggesting we have phone sex?”
He lets out a soft chuckle that goes straight to my balls. “I’ll take whatever I can get until I have you back here with me.”