I smile at the thought, even as my heart cracks with the knowledge of how long we still have to wait. “What would you want to do?” I murmur.
“I’d want to taste you. I love the way you taste. Your cock, your arse. Every single inch of your skin. I’d want to take your cock in my mouth and have you fuck my throat…”
I groan, my hand sliding over my hard cock as I imagine doing just that. “What else?”
“I’d want you inside me,” he says with a groan, and I know he’s doing exactly what I am right now. “Love it when you fuck me, kotya. Love taking your cock.”
“Ah, fuck,” I cry out as my orgasm hits a little unexpectedly and I come all over my hand. “Well, that was a little embarrassing. Haven’t come that quickly from just my hand since I was a teenager.”
“Not just your hand,” Lukas points out.
“Well, that’s true.”
I take up the reins on the dirty talk, seeing Lukas through his climax and wishing more than anything I could be there for the live and interactive show.
We talk for a while afterwards, about the kids and our friends at the palace and a bunch of other random things that come to mind, but after an hour and a half I call an end to the conversation, knowing it’s getting way too late in Korova and Lukas needs to be up early in the morning.
I notice my stomach growling after we hang up, so I put on some sweats and a t-shirt and head down to the kitchen in search of food. The closer I get to the kitchen, the better the smell gets. There’s garlic and herbs and I think maybe tomatoes…whatever it is, it smells absolutely delicious and my stomach growls even louder.
I find both Blake and Owen in the kitchen; Blake is stirring something on the stove and Owen is sitting at the counter drinking wine and ogling his husband’s ass.
They both turn as I enter the kitchen, Owen’s eyes lighting up as he sees me. “Hey! Blake said you were here, what’s going on?”
“Ahh, it’s kind of a long story.”
Owen’s gaze narrows in suspicion. “Did that guy hurt you? Tell me. ‘Cause, seriously, king or no king, Blake and I will go over there and kick his ass!”
I blink a few times at Owen, my mouth hanging open in surprise. “You knew?”
Blake and Owen exchange an amused glance. “You were kind of obvious when we came to visit,” Blake says.
“Oh, god, no wonder I had to be sent away!”
Owen’s brows arch up. “You were sent away? Okay, just so you know, all my brothers will totally be on board with the kicking the king’s ass thing. Who cares if it causes an international scandal.”
I let out a heavy sigh, shaking my head. “Sweet, but not necessary.” It feels like there’s a heavy weight pressing down on my chest but I somehow manage to explain the bare bones of the horrible law Lukas’s father sneaked through the Parliamentall those years ago.
Blake’s handsome features form a tight frown. “So, what does this mean? According to this law, Lukas is ineligible to be king?”
“Yeah, pretty much. If people found out about Lukas and me, all it would take is one asshole who knows about this law and wants to see an end to the monarchy to throw the country into complete chaos.” I shake my head morosely. “There’d be so much confusion about whether the law is even valid, or whether there’s any proof about Lukas’s sexuality, or whether it’s relevant considering he already has heirs. Et cetera, et cetera. The bottom line is, if people did find out and it was enforced, it would remove Lukas, his children, his brother and his cousin Sebastian all from the line of succession. And the next in line after Seb is his sister Sofia. And trust me, she’s not someone you want in charge of anything.”
“So what happens now?” Owen presses. “Is this it? Are you guys broken up? Is he just going to pretend he’s not gay?”
I shake my head. “No, he’s going to get Parliament to change it, but they don’t reconvene until next year, and in the meantime…”
“You need to be out of the picture. Got it.”
I rake a hand through my hair, letting out a groan of frustration. “I don’t want to be out of the picture, though. I want to be there with him. I love him, O—I should be over there now, not on the other fucking side of the world. And the kids…” I let out a little sob as my chest constricts at the thought of the two munchkins I’ve left behind. “We had all this Christmas stuff planned and now I’m not going to be there for it.”
Neither Owen nor Blake says anything, they just let me talk, and I appreciate the opportunity to unload.
“I know it sounds stupid, but I feel like I left my heart back in Korova and now it’s like I’m having trouble breathing.”
“It doesn’t sound stupid,” Owen says softly, his gaze drifting across the kitchen to fall lovingly on his husband. “I know what you mean. I felt exactly the same way when Blake and I broke up a few months ago.”
“You brought that upon yourself,” I say, levelling him with a healthy glare and prompting a soft chuckle from Blake’s direction.
“I know. I was an idiot. But it doesn’t change the fact I felt completely lost without him.”
“Likewise,” Blake murmurs, returning Owen’s gaze.
Owen redirects his attention to me, offering a soft smile. “You guys are going to be fine. Once all this crap’s sorted you’ll go back to Korova and live happily ever after with your king.”
“God, it sounds fucking ridiculous when you put it like that,” I say with a choked snort.
“Please, you’re talking to a guy who met his husband while gaming, only to realize after about a million sexts were exchanged that he was actually my older brother’s supposedly straight billionaire best friend. Things don’t get much more ridiculous than that.”
20
LUKAS
It’s been four days since Jai left and we’re…managing. We FaceTime, we get each other off over the phone, we play online Scrabble…but it’s not the same. And the separation has only just started, I don’t even want to imagine how bad it will be in another few weeks.
It’s just after nine p.m. and I’m in the living room eating the last of Jai’s Christmas cookies and re-watching The Sound of Music. Yes, I’ve turned into that person.
“Papa?”
I startle at the sound of Katya’s voice, turning away from the screen to see her padding across the carpeted floor to stand in front of the sofa.
I lift the remote to pause the movie before speaking to my daughter. “Katya, what are you doing out of bed? It’s late.”
“I can’t sleep. I’m not tired,” she says, punctuating that last statement with a yawn.
“Uh huh. Sweetheart, you need to be in bed or you’ll be tired for school tomorrow. You don’t want to fall asleep and miss out on what Penny’s teaching, do you?”
“I don’t like Penny,” she says with a petulant jut of her bottom lip.
I frown down at her. “What are you talking about? Of course you like Penny. You love Penny.”
“But it’s not the same,” she whines. “She doesn’t know anything about the kings and queens, except the ones from England and I don’t care about them. And she can’t speak French. And she can’t make papanasi. I want Jai back, Papa. Please, can we have him back?”