“I guess. But like I said, I’m not ready yet.”
“Do you think you found him, the one you’re meant to be with? Is Tyson the one?”
“I thought we agreed not to bring up anything personal?” I say, raising my brow.
“No, we agreed to not talk about what’s bothering you. I take it it’s Tyson since you’re being so defensive.”
“Never mind,” I reply, waving her off. “Did you get a chance to go to the doctor?”
She gives me a ‘I know what you’re doing’ look and I shrug. We made a deal and I’m in no way discussing Tyson with her. He may be the source of my problems, but he’s not all of them. So is her hubby and Rob. I may love Tyson, but ever since Rob inserted the idea in my head that I need more than one man in my life, I want all of them, but I know that isn’t possible. It’s only a greedy dream conjured up by a lost soul with selfish intentions. One is married to the woman sitting across from me and the other two are too alpha male to share.
“Just what I thought, the flu,” she says, answering my earlier question before changing the subject altogether. “Are you dressing up for Halloween?”
“I thought about it, but Garfield may have a cow if I show up to work with a costume on. Maybe I can decorate my belly or something since it’s big enough to count as another person. We can be siamese twins joined at the belly,” I laugh.
“That would be funny, but I doubt Garfield will mind if you dress up. Grayson tells me you’re his favorite. How’s your studies going, by the way?”
The waitress walks up with our order, and as soon as she sets everything down and walks away, I answer. “It’s going well actually. I really like law. It’s so fascinating.”
“I’m glad. You look like you love it as much as I do,” she says with a wishful look on her face.
“If you love it so much, why don’t you go back to it? I’m sure your firm will take you back, and Grayson said you were a really kickass defense attorney. Why stay playing real housewife if you don’t like it?”
“It’s not like I don’t like being at home. I like having time to myself to do what I want. Yes, I miss being a lawyer, but that isn’t me anymore. I have a different path to take in life now.”
“Like what?” I question.
“Like making sure my inquisitive surrogate stays healthy and stress free so she can deliver me a healthy baby,” she answers and I blush at being called out. I guess she was right about lawyers being prone to ask a bunch of questions.
We eat in companionable silence. When the check comes, Nichole grabs it before I can, pulling out her unlimited black card.
“Grayson really doesn’t care about how much money you spend?” I ask, more out of curiosity than to be nosy. I never had a relationship like that until now. I didn’t want to mention Tyson’s unlimited card he gave me that was currently burning a hole in my back pocket.
“No, he doesn’t care. I doubt he’s surprised anymore about how much I spend. We have so much. When we die, our son will still be well off with more money than he can imagine.”
“I take that as you’re not planning to have another child after this,” I say.
“No, one is enough, plus I can never get Grayson to do all this over again, nor do I want to. I only want to see him happy.”
“You’re talking like that’s your last wish. You’re young, you still have lots of time to spend with Grayson and your son.” She gives me a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes and I wonder what’s going on with her. Before I can question her, the waitress comes back with a bag of Nichole’s leftovers and the receipt.
“I want to go to Babies R Us. Do you think you’re up for that?” She asks and I nod as I follow her out the restaurant.
Nichole didn’t want to talk in the car. Instead, she turned the music up and I decided to stare out the window, watching the busy city pass us by. I’m not as acquainted with New York as I am with Jersey and not the nice parts either. Nichole talked about having enough money to last a couple of lifetimes. I never had that and never will. Even though I have some money of my own from working for the Hastings and the law firm, I still spend it sparingly. It’s embedded in me that this isn’t forever and soon my good luck will run out. I’m lucky that even though she doesn’t have to, Nichole takes care of most of my needs and it’s not like I’m paying rent living with Tyson.
“What are you thinking about?” Nichole asks, breaking the silence.
“Nothing important, just money.”
“Do you hate me because of it? I wasn’t thinking when I brazenly answered your question about our finances. Now, the more I think of it, I did sound a bit entitled.”
“It’s okay. I know you’re used to it. It’s not like you hangout around a lot of poor people.”
“No I don’t, but you’re not poor anymore. You’re one of the lucky ones,” she says wishfully. “Your circumstances in life have changed. Now you have the tools to become someone better and not the Jade I met before, fighting with her landlord about throwing her stuff on the curb for not paying her rent on time. You’ve been given a rare gift, one I hope you don’t squander. Not many people get a second chance at life.”
Why do I feel like her words have a double meaning and aren’t just a lecture?
“I will not pretend to understand your life from before, but I can be your friend as long as we’re in each other’s lives,” she says.
“I don’t know what the future holds or where I’ll be after I push this kid out, but I’m grateful for your friendship,” I tell her.
She’s all smiles the rest of the way to the store where she lets me pick out those funny onesies I was thinking of and some normal baby clothes. By the time we’re done, I’m exhausted and can barely stand on my feet. We drop the bags off at the townhouse before Nichole takes me back to Tyson’s. When I get there, I’m disappointed to see he still isn’t here. Maybe he had a late work day today or maybe he’s avoiding me like I avoided going to work and seeing him. I bet it’s the latter.
The house is so empty and eerily quiet. Vinny isn’t here, but she did have dinner ready and waiting on me in the warmer. Today is a gym day, but I'd rather not see Rob right now. Not with this unresolved issue with Tyson. I need to know if he still wants me. And then what, Jade? You’re leading on the men in your life just so you’re not alone. Not every man is like your father. My inner self is right. I have some serious daddy issues, but I don’t want to acknowledge them right now. I want Tyson back inside me while I show him with my body how sorry I am.
Using my finger, I get jiggy with it by myself as I think about how I’d apologize to Tyson and as selfish as my wants and needs are, McHottie and Rob cross my thoughts as well. I’m a horrible person. This is the conclusion I come up with when I leave the tub.
25
Tyson
“You can’t avoid her forever, you know that son,” Dad tells me as soon as I walk through the front door. I haven’t stayed in my childhood home in years, but I have been staying here for the last week since my fight with Jade. I’m not ready to go home and face her yet. If I go before I’m ready, there’s no telling what I’ll do.